Leaving babies for weekends away

[MumApril1990]

Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd to leave a baby under 12 months with family members, to go on holiday without them? I know loads of people leaving babies as young as 3 months with grandparents to go to weddings and hen dos 2 or 3 nights away. It makes me not want to talk to these friends a I can’t imagine just abandoning my little baby with relatives to go off to party.

I had no interest in doing it and now my kids are nearing adulthood I’m glad that all holidays were family holidays.

But I don’t think it will damage a baby to be with loving GP. I did feel very sorry for one of DD’s friends who every summer was deposited with GP who live a 6 hr flight away (so she didn’t know them that well) while her parents went off on a two week holiday. The mum told me the DD sobbed herself to sleep every night. Yet they carried on doing it. Some kids just don’t cope with separation. One of mine would have been fine, the other would have been miserable.

Don't think it's wrong but mine were very clingy babies at night who fed to sleep a lot so I couldn't imagine doing it myself at that sort of age.

Well don't you sound all judgy. Not wanting to talk to someone because they've had a weekend away. Parents are still people and deal with things differently to you, just because you don't agree with it doesn't make you better than them. I'd not want to be friends with someone who's so judgemental about how other people live their lives.

Oh and they aren't 'abandoning' their children either.

Same

I wouldn't be able to do it but then I wouldn't not want to talk to a friend because she chose to! It's also not abandoning them if they are ensuring they are well looked after by close family members!

If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. I didn’t personally want to leave my baby at 3 months old for 3 nights, no. But I didn’t judge anyone who would because I’m not an arsehole. I am judging hard in this situation, and it’s not your friends. You need to have a look at the kind of friend you are, because frankly you don’t sound like a very good one!

I wouldn't have left my kids at those ages, but I wouldn't judge anyone who did.

You saying that they are "abandoning" their kids is fucking ridiculous and really, really uncalled for. You act as though they have committed a crime. They aren't leaving their babies in the woods, FFS.

I@MumApril1990 I left my 5 month old to go to Paris for 2 nights . My partner went away on a stag to Ibiza when our little one was 11 months old. We’ve also left our little one with grandparent so we can have a night away together. Glad we aren’t friends with your judgemental attitude.

What a judgemental person you are.

I left my daughter at 7 weeks to go to a family wedding. Thankfully she was with her Gran who dotes on her.

Doesn't make me a shit parent.

It makes me not want to talk to these friends a I can’t imagine just abandoning my little baby with relatives to go off to party.

How unnecessarily dramatic.

We left DD for a night for the first time when she was 3 months, with my parents, and have done many times since. She has a great relationship with them, no trauma and we have had the opportunity to spend time as a couple. The bonus of this is that when I go into hospital in a couple of weeks for a c-section, DD will be staying with her grandparents and it will be a fun and normal thing for her, not something new and scary on top of the change of adding a new sibling.

I left DD for 4 days when she was 5 months old, in the loving care of my parents. It had no traumatic affect on her whatsoever.

Each to their own. Not sure you need to pass judgement? It's not going to cause any harm, individual choice as to whether you're comfortable doing it.

As for trauma, I know a lady who was asked to look after her 2 month old breastfed grandchild overnight so her daughter and her husband could celebrate their anniversary. Baby didn't sleep and she spent the night walking around the house rocking them. The baby was fine but it was really too much to ask of her outside of an emergency.

When are we going to stop judging other mums ffs?!

Absolutely this.

Personally I wouldn’t do it, but I’ve no issues with anyone else doing it.

100 % this. Oh look at meeeee aren’t I the perfect parent.

I'd have loved to have done this! But my 2 were very attached to my boobs and wouldn't take bottles. I had issues just going out for a couple of hours. It would have been so much easier if I were like you!

Been having my baby grandchild for overnights since they were less than a week old. I’m as good as mum because I’ve got years of experience and love them so much. Why wouldn’t my child trust me? I didn’t have anyone to leave my youngest with but if I had I would. Babies have needs and if those needs are met they are fine.

I work/worked with women who did that. Their children were so spoilt by grandparents, aunts, uncles and older cousins plus had multiple other children on hand to play with that they never wanted to come back to the UK.

Yep, we left DS with DM when he was 5mi, while we went to a local wedding (planning to come back that evening). He saw her every week, we’d stayed over at her house many times, etc. BF but did take a bottle.

He lasted 4 hours before he became inconsolable. I had to leave DH at the reception and go home. He wasn’t great with DH until he was about 18 months old either - I worked shifts, and DH never got any sleep on the nights I was on nights. Some babies are more Velcro than others.

Weddings and hen dos aren't really regular holidays though - it's not like you can say I'll go next year when the baby is a bit older. You either go when they're happening or you miss out. And actually they're important social occasions which help build and hold together the community of people who will support you - and your child - over the years.

Yes I agree with you

Two or three nights fine. A month? No. A Week, maybe if closer to a year old.