Help with almost 3 year old?

[sugaryouth1]

My daughter is 3 in 3 weeks. In the last maybe 2 weeks her behaviour has taken a massive 180. She's so defiant. Everything is met with a no. She doesn't listen. She screams. She yells. She has started hitting and biting and kicking

The main issue is when we hold her hand or pick her up when we have to She yells 'your hurting me' or 'don't bite me'. I can assure you She has never been hit or bitten. I've no idea what to do. I don't even want to take her out anymore because hearing a 2 year old scream your hurting me is very embarrassing. I feel like giving up

Have you identified any triggers for the big behaviours? Triggers for big behaviours for us that lead to massive red mist meltdowns and lashing out include: if it's daddy and not mummy (I want mummy!), not having made it out the house of a day, holding boundaries around turning the TV off/getting out the bath/brushing teeth, not running off when we're out, if toddler wants to reconnect or there hasn't been enough connection with one of either of us during the day, if I say no to sweet treats or extra snacks or other inappropriate things toddler wants to eat. Biggest trigger for us is the arrival of a new sibling 3 months ago.

The main issue is when we hold her hand or pick her up when we have to She yells 'your hurting me' or 'don't bite me'. Does she actually need picking up at that point? If we're crossing the road, I give my similar aged toddler a choice e.g. which hand are you going to hold, Mr left or Mrs right? Or 'are you going to hold my hand or Nanna's hand/pushchair? (e.g.)

How do you respond when she screams/yells/bites/hits/kicks/doesn't listen?

It's an exhausting age to parent I'm finding, I'm in the trenches with you too! 🥴