Am I allowing my family to look after my baby too much

[Djdjdjd]

I am very fortunate I have my mum and dad and my in-laws all living within 5 minutes of my house. My baby is 7 months old and I work 3 days a week. On those days my parents or my in-laws will look after her of course. However on my days off if I need to get an errand done such as nails or post office or cleaning the house I will sometimes drop her off for an hour or so so I can do these things. Not every single errand but some of them. The other day my friend told me this was abit much and I was relying on my family too much. Am I?

Sounds fine to me.

Why not get your nails done after work. Then it's an extra half hour watching her.

And if you plan, you can do errands on your break/before/after work

Are they happy to do it? Is the baby happy with them?
If yes to both, crack on.

I don’t think so no. As long as family are happy, you’re happy and baby happy, why is your friend worried?!
Some parents leave baby in childcare 5 days a week 7am-6pm. Some people have no choice!

If it works for you, it works for you. This is how children were brought up for centuries when families lived close to each other!

Also, what's it got to do with your friend?!

My thought was that baby will be a sociable little bunny 🥰

If I was your mum or in laws id think you were taking the piss tbh.

God, I’d kill for this. If they are happy with the set up then crack on!

If your parents and in-laws are genuinely happy to have her then why not? I’m guessing they won’t be able to help out every week with the errands as they’ll be busy themselves, but if they can then go for it.

My parents do similar - 2 full days and then here and there when needed! It's brilliant! DD LOVES her nanny and pops and has a great relationship, and I feel really lucky we have so much support.

Sounds like a great set up. Just make sure all parents are happy and show appreciation. Sounds like your friend is jealous

If they’re happy then go for it. I knew of someone who sent their baby to nursery whilst on maternity leave!

Your friend is probably jealous. It's hard for people who have no help to hear about others being able to drop their dc off with parents and in laws everyday. Trust me. I'm one of them.

But if you are one of the lucky ones who has support there's nothing wrong with using it if everyone is happy with the setup. I don't think nails are an errand though 😂

Same set up as me, but I have 2 kids.
and each set of grandparents don’t mind - infact I think they enjoy it.
friend sounds a bit jealous maybe? But you do what works for you

How wonderful, to have such a great support network, and what a lucky child to have grandparents so involved.

Happy mum, happy child! I think your relationship will only be better for having a relaxed mum.

Exactly! If everyone who matters is happy (especially little one) then that's all that matters

Yes they are very happy with the setup they message me every day and ask if I need to do anything because they just want to spend time with her. I did not think anything of it before because it is much more convenient. I finish work quite late so it's not possible to do these things during work hours and I love the fact that my family have such a close relationship with her. But ever since my friend made that comment it has been playing on my mind.

my friend had a similar set up and whenever baby/toddler had a clingy phase, it was for grandma rather than mum. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, but my friend was upset by it. If you’re fine with that op, then it sounds amazing honestly.

I get my nails done once every two months, sorry I should have been more clear! I really just meant usually day to day errands. In my head I thought it allows her grandparents to spend more time with her and for me to get these things done stress free.

Both sets of parents generally stay at home quite a lot and do not venture out too much outside of it. That's just their way and they are very happy with it. I would never leave her with them if I thought it was getting in their way but they seem to enjoy it. I think I'm thinking too much into it. Thanks to everyone who has replied so far it's made me feel much better. The way my friend spoke was as though I was being neglectful. But on my days that I work I wake up super early and spend around 5 hours with her before work. I'm with her for two hours afterwards. And the "errands" aren't constant, not every day. Just occasionally when I feel it would be easier I leave her for an hour or so.

It's fine ur friend is jealous

No problem at all - though it’s worth thinking about bringing her along to run errands. It’s good for them to learn food doesn’t just appear in the house etc! But yes it’s very often feels easier to leave them at home.

If you're all happy, then it sounds like a wonderful set up that will be great for you and your baby, and probably for the grandparents too.

What I will say, is be careful not to take the piss as you may find you lose the support. I've known more than one set of grandparents who loved spending time with the first grandchild - but then that cute little baby quickly turned into two toddlers which is a very different prospect, and then another child produced grandchildren and they felt they needed to give the same level of support and then that was their week. It is easy for them to get resentful, so make sure they can say no!

What advantage would it be for the baby to be with you whilst you're trying to clean the house? Bonds with grandparents are really important and you sound like you've got a really lovely family dynamic. Ignore your friend, they're jealous.