Am I allowing my family to look after my baby too much

[Djdjdjd]

I am very fortunate I have my mum and dad and my in-laws all living within 5 minutes of my house. My baby is 7 months old and I work 3 days a week. On those days my parents or my in-laws will look after her of course. However on my days off if I need to get an errand done such as nails or post office or cleaning the house I will sometimes drop her off for an hour or so so I can do these things. Not every single errand but some of them. The other day my friend told me this was abit much and I was relying on my family too much. Am I?

That's a very presumptive thing to say. Maybe they are very much in love with their grandchild and want to spend as much time with them as possible.

Ignore your friend. She’s just jealous that you have an extended family who love to look after your wee girl. I have many grandchildren and have always done child care. This time round though I share the care of my youngest 2 with their other granny who retired early from a very high flying career to be able to spend time with our grandchildren. We each have our set days but we also do the odd hour or so separate to that just because we can.

Don’t feel so guilty! I would just make some extra special time for just you two and bond that way. My daughter goes to a childminders 4 days a week and then I am with her every other day. I make sure on the days that she goes to the childminder that we have extra special long bath times we read we play we laugh ( my daughters 19 months) I know if I didn’t have work or the childminder my mental health would be down

Friend is jealous!
You have managed to get the village we all want so well done and baby will thrive. As long as it's not too exhausting for them (please triple check this) and you feel they would be able to say if they felt too tired to babysit. But an hour every day or so is probably ideal for them and lots of fun for baby too experiencing different games and places x

So I've taken my baby to the nail salon and he loved it! All the colours and lights and water whirling around foot bath and people smiling at him! For pedicure though - mani would be too hard unless he's asleep

Your friend is jealous and you are very lucky.

Nothing wrong as long as there's no pressure from either side and everyone is happy with the arrangement.

It’s wonderful to have local family who love being involved with your baby. Don’t feel guilty! You’re all very lucky to have such a nice family set up.

sounds lovely - I think it’s beneficial for baby to spend time with family. As long ad your parents and in laws are happy

OP asked for opinions and I gave mine. I'd think my DD or DIL was taking the piss if she was using me for so much childcare.

Loving your kids and grandkids doesn't correlate with how much childcare you provide for them.

Sounds great! When my parents lived closer they did similar although I used a nursery for my work days.

If they don't mind it sounds like a great set up

It’s lovely that they like to help, but I would be slightly concerned that they don’t seem to have anything else going on in their lives. How old are they? Do you see them apart from when using them for childcare?

It’s absolutely grand OP, I’d love to have the same options, we have no support at all and it’s tough.

I’d say you are extremely fortunate and lucky but there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing. I expect your friend is just jealous

You're not allowing it too much if every one is happy with the situation :) My baby is 5 months so is younger but I haven't left her yet, I go to plenty of groups and she sees family often I'm just not ready to leave her with anyone yet so she comes with me on all errands etc. My family would probably be happy to take her for a walk or something for an hour then if I really needed to do something it wouldn't be practical to bring her

Yes we are a very close family, I go over often to hang out. When I say they stay at home a lot, they do have friends over and go to friends house. Most of their closest friends happen to live really close so house visits are common, they aren't just sitting at home lonely!

Totally understandable your set up sounds lovely also ☺️

They ask me constantly if I have anything to do, and if so they want me to drop her over. I don't think they see it as "childcare" more like hanging out with their grandchild as much as they can! It's also split between two sets of parents. When she starts nursery they will see her less and they are aware of this so they want to get in as much time as possible for now

Anyway thank you everyone for your input! It's made me feel much more at ease about our current setup. Every comment was very helpful to me :)

Your friend is jealous which I don’t blame her for! But tbh even if I did have my mum 5 mins away I probs wouldn’t always drop my baby off. I quite like the company 😂 depends on the errand. A beauty appointment sure but post office/food shop etc I’d just take baby with me. Otherwise when you do start having to take them it’s going to be a real shock 😂

Haha that's true! I do take her around quite a lot but you are right I do sometimes see it as too convenient. I will start taking her more often to the smaller errands as you suggested

I mean, sometimes it's nice to take your baby with you on errands. Do you not take her because you feel like it might be too hard? Will things change when they're a bit older? Like a toddler?

When my DD was around 1 I started letting her "help" with cleaning and errands. It's really nice walking around the shop and narrating what we're buying and what's for dinner. Asking her opinion.

We do things differently, but it doesn't mean your way is wrong. I think it's really lovely your family are so close.

Do the grandparents take DD out when they have her? Do you have a partner, how hands on are they?

My parents and in laws just always harrass me to spend time with her (in a cute way) they would say things like "oh don't drag her to town, drop her over" so I began doing it, and it became a habit and a way to let them hang out with her more. It brightens each of their day to see her for a little bit. I don't drop her for every single errand or thing I do outside as I love being with her also. I'm excited for when she is a toddler and we can really understands what we are doing when we are out and about, the way you do it seems lovely ☺️

They do sometimes, if they are popping to the shops or sometimes they take her for a walk. I do have a partner he unfortunately works really long hours so I am alone most of the time