Nanny v nursery

[3isthemagicnumberrr]

Help! Our nanny left with no notice yesterday. She’s the second nanny to leave which sounds terrible (first one went to set up her own business, this one doesn’t want to work an additional hour in the morning when I finish mat leave) and I’m almost embarrassed to advertise again.

Has anyone moved from having a nanny to nursery and been happier? I know the pros and cons of both but feel really nervous about putting a just turned 1 year old in nursery. I know lots of people do, but for personal reasons (we lost dd1 a few years ago) I’m very nervous..

What advice are you looking for?
You've said it yourself a lot of people do it (sometimes earlier), and you know the pros and cons. It has to be your decision or advertise again for a nanny and you might find the perfect fit.

I wouldn't want to put an under 2 yr old in a nursery.

I can only add that DT’s started full time nursery from six months old . Only positives.

Sorry, pressed send too soon!
I don't think nursery is a good environment for babies. Baby rooms are often staffed by very young, inexperienced girls working very long hours. And the babies don't get out and about. The home is much better - if you can afford it, I'd go for a nanny.

TThe staff at DT’s nursery were older than me - several grandmothers and low turnover of staff. The nursery had a garden and children were regularly taken in small groups to parks, petting zoo, fire station etc.

Not all nurseries are the same.

It depends on the nursery. It depends on the nanny!

DD went to nursery from 9months and it was wonderful. She had the same keyworkers throughout her time there, they moved through the rooms as they aged up, she always had lots of other kids to play with, we never had any issues with last minute closures or absences.

Go and look at some nurseries, pay attention to the kids not the workers, are the kids playing happily, do they run up to the carers if they want comfort, do they have access to the facilities they need like a comfortable sleeping space and outdoor play, are they kept engaged and given a range of activities to choose from.

It totally depends on the nursery. DS started at 13 months going 4 days a week. They go out on little trips at least twice a week - local duck pond, canal walk, play park, library etc. They spend loads of time in the garden each day. The staff in the baby room are great, experienced and he's really bonded with them. They do way more messy play etc than I'd ever do at home and get exposed to a much greater variety of foods etc. Plus unlike a nanny, we don't have to find alternative childcare in the event of staff sickness etc.

Mine have both been in nursery ft from ten months, both have loved it as have we.

Agree it depends on the nursery, mainly older staff at ours and many of the staff have looked after both girls, two years apart.

I’d start with looking around local nurseries to get a feel for them.

My DS went from 16 months when he could already walk etc. He is a very shy boy but has a great time at nursery. He’s 2 now, so old enough to tell me all about it.

I do understand the apprehension about putting a younger baby in nursery, but lots of people do it and children seem to settle better if they start younger.

Find yourself a good nursery and it will be so much better than a nanny, as the interactions with other kids is so important.

DS has been going to nursery 3 days a week since he was 1, and absolutely loves it and gets to do so much more than he would at home with me or a nanny.

There is a lovely mix of old and young staff, however I know we are extremely lucky with the nursery and all the space and opportunities it has to offer.

It depends on the nursery, my DD has been at nursery 2 days a week since 10mo and she loves it. A PP has said it's young people and they don't get out, not the case at my DD's nursery the younger staff work in the 3-4 room and DD is out at least 2 hours a day (bar this week in the heat of course). It all depends how you feel but might be worth asking around a few nursery's to see what they're like x

Between my two and some work changes I had a brilliant nursery, a brilliant preschool, two amazing childminders and one not so great nursery (no experience with a nanny). I would say for a nursery look at the general workers (not the manager who is taking you round). Do they seem happy and enthusiastic? Are they engaged with the children eg talking to them about what they're doing ( depending on age something like "That blue slide is fun Jonny, shall we count how many steps there are to climb up?") or busy with a task such as tidying up/preparing food, or are they just sitting/standing around supervising.
It's not unusual for small children to be upset sometimes at nursery, just like at home, because they're tired/hungry/have been prevented from eating that very tasty looking stone etc etc. So to me the attitude and approach of the staff is the most important and much more important than fancy facilities/activities/menu. I looked round one very shiny nursery which did French, yoga, etc etc but the staff just all looked miserable and I felt if they couldn't even make an effort when I was looking round that suggested poor management which didn't seem like a good sign.

Personally, I don’t think you can compare as it totally depends on the Nursery and the Nanny. Nursery was my preferred option as they interact much more socially, have others to play with, lots of different adults around them etc. just seemed an all round better option.

This x 100!

Mine went from five months! He was fine.
I couldn't stand to have a nanny in my house so mine went to daycare. I did give up work after my second was born but kept the oldest in fir two days a week, and second went at one year. This gave me some breathing space and made transition to all day school a breeze.

Thanks everyone, and sorry if my post wasn’t clear, a sleep deprived panic I guess. Totally agree it depends on the nursery (or nanny).

There is 1 nursery that has spaces, the others all have long waiting lists. The nursery is brand new and is a lovely setting, but due to open in July so we haven’t met the staff/ seen children there which makes it difficult.

We could look again for a nanny but I am nervous about letting someone else in to our lives, to bond with our children who could leave again. Having said that, if we could find the right person, that would be my preference over nursery.

How many days a week are you talking?

My DD has done three days a week in a nursery since she was 1. She is nearly three now. Certainly since the age of 2 I've seen nursery having a hugely positive impact on her. Before that she was so independent of the other children that I don't think she cared if she was there or not, but she still learnt a lot and I felt like three days was a good balance.

If you are talking five days a week 8-6 I would probably prefer to do a childminder and nursery just so it's a bit less intense until older as nursery can be SO tiring. But plenty of children do it and cope fine. Mine is a sensitive one and not like your standard toddler so I do think she would have found five days hard. She'd probably be OK now though.

@3isthemagicnumberrr that is a benefit to nursery over a nanny, stability. You're much more likely to lose a nanny than a place at nursery. I guess it's balancing the risk of another new person who might also then disappear, compared to a stable routine with nursery with less risk of sudden changes. Against all the pros/cons of a nursery.

MN tend to be anti nursery as a rule (of course individual posters vary but as a general sort of trend.)

There are nurseries and nurseries but the ones I looked around were all lovely and I’ve no complaints about the care of my child.

I think childminders and nannies can work well but the big downside is reliance on one person. If you need watertight childcare that can be a problem. On the other hand, nurseries tend to be stricter with policies about illness and so on so it can be a bit swings and roundabouts.

We have a nanny with her own child which works fantastically well for us. Her boy is four months younger than our DS (both around 2) and she started when DD was around 10 months old. They learn a lot from each other and are thick as thieves. It needs to work for everyone of course and it may be hard to find the right person. We do 4 days per week 9-5 because DH and I mostly WFH and can make sure our nanny can leave on time.

Mine had nursery (2 days) and nanny (1 day). I didn't plan it that way but a neighbour had a nanny with her for 4 days and needed an extra day. I planned for him to go to just nursery but the mix worked for us. It was nice for my child to a home day but also 2 days at nursery mixing with other children. It also worked well with sickness as there was always 48 hours between nursery days.

Mine started nursery full time at 3 months and I only have positive things to say.

The baby room is absolutely not full of young, unexperienced girls. My baby's keyworker is male and the only young, unexperienced girl is because she is in College. The others are all qualified and very experienced.

They have an amazing outdoor space and take them to the park etc.

My son has been in nursery since he was a year old and he loves it. All the claims that they don't benefit from nursery before 2 might be true on a general level, but as an individual he has absolutely thrived and had experiences I wouldn't be able to provide at home myself.

I know you didn't ask it but if you have childminders in your area they can be a good option especially for younger children. Also they may be more flexible in terms of hours and days.
In our area there seems to be plenty of supply so you can get a place with an outstanding one with no trouble. I know some areas there's no spaces at all.
Good luck, it's hard to get everything how you want it!