Nanny v nursery

[3isthemagicnumberrr]

Help! Our nanny left with no notice yesterday. She’s the second nanny to leave which sounds terrible (first one went to set up her own business, this one doesn’t want to work an additional hour in the morning when I finish mat leave) and I’m almost embarrassed to advertise again.

Has anyone moved from having a nanny to nursery and been happier? I know the pros and cons of both but feel really nervous about putting a just turned 1 year old in nursery. I know lots of people do, but for personal reasons (we lost dd1 a few years ago) I’m very nervous..

Generally, I mean. I know OP is obviously one of those who can afford a nanny.

Or like me, can afford a nanny but prefer nurseries.

We have a similar set up and it’s an absolute dream for us.

Best of all worlds imo - all the benefits of a nanny in terms of being in our own home, no pick ups and drop offs, no need to worry when kid is sick, covers after school and holiday care for our older child AND our child has socialisation and amazing fun with a playmate he adores AND it’s great for our nanny as she gets paid to be with her child and also the fact they play together actually makes her job easier AND it’s cheaper for us (as she charges reduced rate because her kid is there). It is just a win win.

Only minor downside is the nanny is a bit less flexible than she would be if she didn’t have her child there (eg about staying later/arriving earlier/extra babysitting - all of which we would obvs pay for) but it is totally worth it in the grand scheme.

OP if I were you I’d try to find a good nanny rather than going for nursery with a baby of that age. The social benefits come later as you know and your child’s keyworker in a nursery is just as likely to leave as a nanny (probably more so given that pay and conditions are usually so much worse) - the continuity is a bit of a red herring imo.

I didn't want a nursery. i couldn't afford a nanny and my precious first born went to a childminder. It was a home from home and she was very happy.

Five years later with my son, the lovely childminder had stopped being a childminder. I went around all the local nurseries and childminders. I settled on a very friendly small nursery with lovely staff, and a really nice atmosphere. My son was happy at nursery.

Both options worked well, and no regrets with either. I think you need to visit nurseries, before making any decision.

@Tudorfish - why wouldn’t I believe that?

Realistically then your belief is that a nanny or a parent should be providing preschool care: well, to be honest I’m mindful of the abortion debate where if you don’t want to have an abortion / use a nursery / go to work then don’t.

I think having toddlers at home for five plus years would quickly have me despairing. I adore DS, but won’t apologise for not wanting to do this for years!

This, a baby should have 1:1 care. When they are two then I'd change to nursery as then they'll want the interaction and are more independent

Oh gosh, I seem to be the only one whose baby cries at 95% of drop offs :( has been trying nurseries since 5months, he's now 1 and it's still the same. We've tried 3 nurseries, most recent one he's been at since Feb. still cries

I've done two days a week, 4 days a week, he still cries.

A baby should have 1:1 care

So no childminders with assistants?

How about Dad? Can he care for the baby or only the mum? Grandparents?

Obviously I’m being facetious there but nurseries really don’t have an endless stream of strange faces in and out. It is three or four people max in the baby area.

Use a nanny, don’t use a nanny, but some of these posts are just really peculiar!

We wanted the reliability of a nursery - open 52 weeks of the year 7,30am - 6.30pm. We also used two of the nursery staff as babysitters.

Only first babies have 1:1 care or should people not have multiple children?

The key person system works well or at least it does at the nursery we use. My baby's key person is the one who provides personal care such as nappies and gives him his bottles. My baby adores him.

Firstly im so sorry for your loss OP and I understand your nerves.

We have had a nanny and nursery and personally think nursery is so much better for interaction etc. my daughter became much more confident after joining.

There is 1 nursery that has spaces, the others all have long waiting lists.

Put them in the one that has vanacy then add them to the waiting list of your first choice. On the off chance when a space comes up you have the choice whether to move or not.

I chose nursery over nanny and childminder due to (1) socialising with other kids and (2) more reliable hours (nannies and childminders take holidays; sick leave etc)

Mine have never had 1:1 care - they’re twins!!!

Gently, that’s a lot of change in a short time at that age, it might go some way to explain why he’s not settled yet. He will get there in time.

Also what he’s like while he’s there physically at nursery, not drop off when you’re there, is a far better indicator of how settled they are in general @NurseEssie

Gently
Gently what?

Gently as I’m not saying it to be horrible? Ok?

We had only positive experiences of nursery, but we had to travel out of area for a great one. The nearest wasn’t right for us.
I’d prefer nursery over nanny every time. I only ever hear people in real life complaining about their nannies, not nursery.

I’ve seen more than one local nanny schlepping the kids around & sitting on a bench, face in their phone, while the children play unsupervised. Mind you, I’ve seen parents doing the same. Nursery might me nice in terms of socializing with others.

Hi Op, don't be nervous about considering nursery at 1yr. My daughter started at 6 months when I went back to work, and she absolutely loved it, and still does. Our nursery was recommended by a friend which was reassuring. We needed reliable and year round child care due to work commitments, hence a nursery over childminder / nanny.
Our nursery is great, the staff kind and professional, she adores her keyworker, they have wonderful home cooked meals, and the children undertake lots of educational and fun activities each day. They are very professional monitoring developmental milestones and ensuring educational development, and we get formal assessment reports as well as lots of daily feedback, photos and videos.
I have recently come across some groups of childminders/nannies who meet up and attend a soft play / community centre we go to, and was rather shocked by the 'care' being provided (basically the carers sitting about gossiping for hours together, listening to music, and totally ignoring their numerous little charges). I'm sure there are lots of highly professional minders too, but it just highlighted to me that you have no idea what is happening when your child is in an individual persons care; so I'm personally much happier with our choice of a professionally run nursery.
Best of luck finding the right solution for your family!

Well, just say that instead of the patronising Gently fgs!

There are exceptions obviously but most people who have nannies are in a position to have more choice about childcare than those who use nurseries. If you don’t have any option but to send your child to nursery then you’re a lot less likely to complain about it.

In my local area all 3 of the nurseries were downgraded from good or outstanding to requires improvement by ofsted in the last year. After the first one most of the parents tried to move their kids to one of the others but now they all have been rated the same they are all still full because ultimately the parents need the childcare.

Thanks, random person.

No, I personally know a lot of people with nannies. 100% of them have had cause for complaint at least once and most have gone through 3 or 4. Getting a good nanny is far harder than a good nursery where I live.
The nurseries are generally much better. I’m sure it may be regional differences but I wouldn’t touch any of the nannies I’ve met through my mum friends with a bargepole. They are at best disinterested.

We're all randoms on here.

Thank you everyone. I’ve emailed the nursery to see if we can attend the upcoming stay and play and meet the staff before committing. I’m not keen to pay the £500 per child deposit before we’ve met the staff. There’s only one other nursery in the area (lots of term time only pre schools) and I didn’t like the manager there at all/.

I’m also going to try once more to find a nanny, with the view to doing wrap around care for the older dc.