MIL creeping me out with my 3 month baby

[Blondewave]

Hello

posting this as want to know if I’m being ‘touchy’

i have a 3 month old baby always got on well with my MIl. Although she came to stay with us for just under a week and looked after baby while we went away for the night.

when we came back she was like a different woman, would not give me my baby, insisted she knew him better than me and constantly kept taking him off me…some of the things she said;

To my baby ‘ You are MY gorgeous boy aren’t you?’

He needed a feed just before dinner so she took him off me and told me to eat my dinner…I finished it and said pass him to me you eat your dinner..she said ‘No don’t disturb him please he’s comfy’

Constnstly taking him off me…when he cries when I’m holding him I can see her itching to grab him and she’s like oh no you need granny.

I went to change his nappy and get him dressed for the day she said ‘no he doesn’t need his nappy changing and his baby grow is clean’

she told me she’s feeding him at different times to see if he settles. He’s been projective vomiting as it transpired when we were away she’s been putting in an extra scoop of formula (as it sticks to the sides of the scoop she said) however we do not do that! Also she isn’t stelrizing the bottles how I asked her to.

she also completely re arranged my whole house and tells me that I can’t use the drier as it’s too expensive in my own home etc.

I never want to see her again. I stayed quiet but I just wanted to scream. I don’t want her near me or my baby ever again. Am I being unreasonable?

YANBU!!

OP, use a sling or carrier next time you see MiL, that way she can't try to swoop in and take the baby.

In your situation, I wouldn't be letting her look after your baby solo again, and I would keep all visits to when you are also there.

It's sad that what should have been a bit of a break for you as a new parent was used by your MiL to try and take over.

Get rid of her.

She’s ‘sensitive’ because it means she gets her own way.
Her son should be the one to tell her to back off but it doesn’t seem like he will so you’re going to have to do it. This is your baby, he only has his parents to advocate for him.
Gently push back and be more assertive. If she stands over you, expecting you to hand baby over then say “ He’s settled where he is, with his mummy”
If she has him and won’t hand him back. Stand in front of her and say “I‘ll take him now, thank you “ and don’t move until he’s back with you.
Tumble drier- ignore her, she’s not paying the bill. Nappy and clothing changes, none of her business. This is your child remember .
Putting extra scoops of food in bottles and not sterilising equipment properly is down right dangerous and she needs pulling up on this.

YANBU, you're having a reaction to overbearing and controlling behaviour. It seems like she uses "sensitivity" to get her own way and it seems to work. Trust your instincts, the formula thing is a health risk to your baby so is a firm, "absolutely not". Please don't get strong-armed into things you're not comfortable with, you're creating your new family and you absolutely get to call the shots.

OP I promise you that life is so much better when you learn to push through the discomfort and embrace being assertive. Now is exactly the time to become that person.

I’m a granny and cannot imagine overstepping like this. I love dgc to pieces but she’s my dd’s child. Sometimes I want to suggest things to make their life easier but it’s not up to me.

Another upvote for telling her to fuck right off

😅😅😅
I could have predicted she was "sensitive"...

Preface: While I don't love this tactic or advice as it plays into an annoying trope... it was incredibly effective for me and stopped a huge amount of nonsense with my mil as my DH and I jointly made it clear she needed to pack it in.

My advice for WHEN she cries (because as soon as you push back she will) is:
Make sure you cry louder, longer and more dramatically. And really make sure your DH knows exactly how much she is upsetting you and make it his problem too.

Why are you giving your baby to someone who doesn’t sterilize bottles? Just look after your own baby. You’re a mother now and I less you have a trusted safe adult for childcare then you’ll just have to stay in.