Help please -Shaken baby syndrome

[DreamOn86]

Hi all. Im a new mom for a 4 months old baby girl. And even though im very in love with her, im living the worst anxiety in my life about her. Every single thing i do i get scared that i accidentally done something harmful!
i havent slept tonight because yesterday i went up the stairs running, holding her, one hand on her nappy area and the other hand holding the stairs so not supporting her neck or head. at some point her chin was hitting my shoulder because of the running but i didnt think it would he an issue at the time. Straight after, my anxiety started escalating thinking i might have caused shaken baby syndrome and today its out of control. I called 111 yesterday and spoke to a gp and she was reassured that shaken baby syndrome cannot happen from such a thing. I was reassured for some time but then again, reading more things on google and then reading that jogging with a baby can cause it. Today i woke up paranoid that she s behaving differently: she seems calmer ( not sleepy) and her suckling is slower when im breastfeeding her.
i really really dont know what to do. My husband think im totally loosing the plot. She had a very difficult birth and cane after a late pregnancy termination (week23) i n really not coping!!
if anyone have any thoughts about shaken baby syndrome happening this way.. please share. Thanks xx

The GP is right, to cause shaken baby syndrome you really need to be determined to do so. You can’t do it accidentally, don’t worry ❤️

Have you spoken to your GP or HV about your anxiety?

Ask your health visitor or Gp for therapy support about the anxiety, even if it’s a long waiting list. You may always worry but it doesn’t have to feel this bad.

In the meantime step away from Google.

Most resources on google says that but they also say that u might not see symptoms immediately and this can happen without obvious symptoms 😭

Try not to worry. The GP is right. The fact that your baby is feeding is a good sign. I wouldn't run up the stairs with her in future in case you fall, rather than because of shaken baby syndrome. I remember pushing dd in a pram along a bumpy, unmade road and worrying about shaken baby syndrome as it jiggled her about, but she was fine

I did. They are arranging for therapy for me

I think you have a form of post natal depression which causes severe anxiety, you need to speak to your dr or HV about the anxiety.

You’ve not hurt your baby. They are totally fine and you don’t need to worry.

But you do need urgent medical help, for you. This is a totally irrational worry, and it must be awful to live with

x

Google saying that jogging can cause it is due to prolonged 'shaking' . So a 30 minute run is longer than the 15 seconds running up the stairs. The changes in her behaviour are probably normal but due to anxiety you're looking for changes. Shes 4 months not 4 hours old. At 4 months babies are generally stronger to hold their heads themselves within reason.

I do really think you need to see ypur GP though. But to discuss your anxiety. This level of anxiety is not healthy for you or your child. I'm saying that as someone who struggled with post partum anxiety. Please seek help.

You are suffering from anxiety. This isn’t a proportionate response to an everyday occurrence.
trust me - you need to get some support or the worry will take over and spoil the early days with your child. I know this from horrible personal experience.
CBT can be a miracle but speak to your GP as soon as you can. you deserve to enjoy your baby without this horrible anxiety x

Oh that also. I have done before but also googled and found out that because her head is supported then shaken baby syndrome wouldn’t happen. I went up without putting my hand on her back😭😭😭

Unless you live on the 20th floor, your baby will not have 'shaken baby syndrome' but why were you running upstairs holding the baby like that, allowing her chin to keep bouncing off your shoulder?

I'm glad you're getting help, don't minimise.

Hi, you did the right thing to ask for advice from a medical professional. Well done for not being afraid to do this!

I have an 11wo - I have quite a lot of intrusive thoughts and from experiencing this with DS1, I know that it is normal to have a certain level of anxiety and crazy/awful daydreams. I think a lot about shaken baby and SIDS too, especially worrying that I will cause it.

But... it seems that you might be more worried than usual. From reading your history, you have a lot on your plate. I think you should book an appointment with the GP on Monday morning to talk through your level of anxiety.

Although you were reassured by 111, if you are still worried about the level of responsiveness of your baby right now, I would call again. They will give you the best advice about what to do today.

Would be lovely to hear an update from you about how you get on.

Oh well the anxiety is spoiling my life. I suddenly cannot be normal .. like everything has to have many dimensions of fear and calculations. I hate this. I look at her with guilt all the time feeling sorry that i might have caused her something. Its a living hell

Are you getting support for how your feeling? Maybe time to talk to your GP for your mental health. It's a tough time with hormones all over the place.

Her granddad was gonna open the toilet door and get out and he doesnt wash his hands, so i wanted to het her away safely before he opens the door in my face and start touching her. So i did something even worse being panicked that he s gonna open the door now. I feel so bar about myself. I really feel awful

Please contact your GP first thing Monday morning, it's great you are on a waiting list for counselling but you need more urgent medical intervention. This level of anxiety is not manageable, they may be able to provide you with some medication in the first instance to help balance you a little whilst you work through your anxiety in counselling.

My DH has OCD and after the birth of our first 12 years ago he had horrific intrusive thoughts. Literally everything he did he was worried it was going to harm the baby. It's awful to live with that level of anxiety and even when you rationalise it to yourself, it can be hard to talk yourself down. In the end he had a group course of CBT which helped. I see the OCD is peaking again now and have asked him to seek help again.
It's great that you have sought help. If you can go private or maybe use BetterHelp (seen advertised but not used so I'm not recommending as such) in order to try and address it more quickly, that might be useful. Your DH shouldn't minimize or belittle your feelings but I can tell you it can be hard to live with too as a partner, and he will want you to get better, but he has to appreciate it isn't as simple as "snap out of it".
I'm sure you're a good mum. You won't do anything to harm your baby. Be careful in what you do, of course, but normal day to day movements, holding a baby, are not going to cause shaken baby syndrome.
My eldest fell off the bed as a newborn. My youngest threw himself back and whacked his head on the car window whilst I was opening the car seat straps to pop him in. No doubt I flung middle around at some point too. They bounce. I'm not saying test the theory, but any mum who hasn't had a similar whoops moment is either lucky or a liar.

I thought shaken baby syndrome had been debunked a few years ago? Running upstairs with your child, supporting their head or not, is really not going to do any damage to your baby.

I agree with the other posters who have suggested you need some help and support for anxiety. Can you speak to your health visitor or gp?

OP, having a new baby is really, really tough. And on top of that you had a horrible time of it with your last PG.

Its obvious you really love your baby.

I think you need more help to manage your anxiety, as its causing you pain and upset at the moment.

Is your husband able to support you? Can he go with you to the GP, in person, on Monday morning?

I feel it is important you get some face to face help and support as soon as possible, to get you to a place where you can enjoy being a mum

As a pp said unless your stairs go on forever baby will be fine but if she's behaving differently it might be worth going to a and e to get her checked out?

It’s awful isn’t it. You’ve done the right thing arranging help.

Honestly one of the main things that helped me was not Googling things. It was really hard to force myself not to, but worth it.

Think of it from her point of view: Google is not protecting her, it’s making her mum more anxious. She wants to get on with happy, playful or restful things. Breathe slowly, think of calming things and do something happy and distracting with her that you’ll both enjoy.

You’ll get proper help soon and you’ll feel so much better. This will pass.

You are clearly a very caring and loving mum who is meeting her baby's needs. What's happened is that after you've given birth your hormones have got hyped up and it's affecting your mood and how you respond to anything you see as a threat to her. The stress is then driving anxiety which drives more stress. This is a physical process and it can be fixed with talking and, if needed, treatment. You are ok. She is ok.
It sounds like your GP is aware? Have you got a helpful health visitor to talk to? What about mummy friends? She's a lovely age to take out to groups. You need to get out of the house each day and walk as much as you can. The more you move, the more your body will release endorphins that will make you feel better. If your husband could sit with baby could you go swimming as well, you would feel better.
You haven't shaken her, you haven't harmed her at all and you will be able to enjoy her. This will pass.

Sweetheart it sounds like your brain needs a rest and some help💐 You've made the first step and asked your GP for help which is brilliant. Until it kicks in, please keep life simple - ask yourself or someone else if your reaction is reasonable. If not, ask for help. Babies are pretty robust. Grandads won't hurt them, clean or dirty hands won't matter.

What do you mean debunked? Shaken baby syndrome is real, it just isn’t caused by this; it has to be deliberate.