WWYD - comments about young DC's body

[wwydhere23]

NC for this.

Just want to get some opinions from here about something that happened yesterday.

My family and I went out with another family of three (we both have DDs who are 4 - we have been friends with the family for about 18 months, girls are at the same preschool). The girls were playing happily together on the swings - we had been out for a couple of hours by this point, girls doing their thing running around and adults chatting about various things.

Our DD was being pushed on the swing by their DD. Her father then made a comment out of the blue that our DD has “footballers legs“ (only adults heard this thankfully). Our DD is 108cm and 18kg which puts her at a very healthy midway BMI/centile. She loves to be active and eats well, with of course being allowed treats (not that this should be relevant but just providing the info).

What would you do with this comment? I’m happy to give my opinion but don’t want to sway anyone’s advice.

I’d roll my eyes and wouldn’t give it a second thought. It’s just a stupid comment and doesn’t even mean anything.

Does she have bowed legs ? Footballers often have bowed legs.

What does that even mean?

Tactless but not a massive issue. Forget it and move on OP.

I wouldn’t do anything or give it another thought.

It’s a silly, tactless comment - mouth engaged before brain. I’d leave it.

The other girl's dad you mean?

I would have said something like "what a weird thing to say" and raised my eyebrow whilst looking directly at him. I don't think there's much that can be done at this point if you didn't say anything then though

Don't really see an issue. My dd was pretty sturdy at 4. I remember a friend commenting on her strong legs. If she'd said footballers legs instead I wouldn't have minded. Footballers have really muscly legs so I assume they meant strong?!

No idea about footballers having bowed legs, but I'd have assumed he was commenting favorably on how strong and muscular they were... if it was clear (or i suspected) that this wasn't the intended interpretation then I might have pointedly made a comment that recast it as such.

i wouldn’t do anything about it. It’s just a silly comment.

Doesn't it just mean strong legs? One of mine was quite muscular as a toddler, the other looked like a giraffe.

Is it because your dc is a girl?

I had friend who was quite affected into adulthood by her grandmother always telling her this exact thing as a child

I'd assume he meant strong legs? Footballers run for hours and are pretty healthy and physically fit! Personally I think it's quite a neutral (if not more on the positive side) for a comment, but if you're unhappy with any comments at all then I think that's a totally fine view to have.

I'd assume he was a twat. Wonder if he would have said the same if DC was a boy.

Comments about girls bodies start so bloody young don't they. Totally inappropriate. Fine to say "she's a great little footballer" but enough with comments about her body ffs.

He has no business commenting about anyone's body least of all a small child who is not even his.I would be starting to pull back from this friendship.

I would turn it to a positive, "maybe she will play for England one day"

Of course I only ever think of good replies after the fact.

I'd do absolutely nothing. ...why are you so sensitive?

I honestly wouldn't think anything of it. I'd assume my daughter's legs look strong or something. And yes I have heard men comments on boy's bodies "built like a rugby player", "look, he has a 6 pack" are two comments I've heard recently.

Am I missing something? He basically said she has strong/sporty legs.

What is your opinion on the comment op?

I have to agree with others- it’s a fairly inoffensive comment, albeit slightly clumsy perhaps.

I hear all sorts of jokey comments about little ones- he looks like a little rugby player, she’s so tall for her age, he has piano player’s fingers etc. Not damaging at that age.

My niece looked like Elvia as a toddler with a big quiff of dark hair. She’s not traumatised that us adults laughed about it when she was tiny.

I get your point @SallyWD but it's still not ok to comment on kids bodies. I wonder what the response would be if someone told a dad that his son had legs like a ballerina 🤔

I wouldn't get worked up about it, he may have been saying good strong legs or he might have been a bit of a twat and imposing his own gender stereotyoes saying her legs were a bit muscular and manly. Either way, not really his place to voice those opinions out loud but honestly the world is full of twats like this and as long as it wasn't said within earshot of your dd and it's just the once I'd ignore it. It was probably just a one off comment.

If it becomes a thing he mentions again then by all means remind him it's not his place to be commenting on your dd's legs....if he really is a twat you could even ask him "Why are you spending so much time looking at and commenting on a 5yo girls legs"

I'd take that as a compliment to mean strong/muscular

If she was a boy would you be offended?

Assume everyone on here who thinks it's out of order kicks off when someone comments on their dcs tiny little fingers/ chubby cheeks/ long legs/ button nose which also is commenting on their body?