To ask what you'd do if your 3 year old did this?

[whatismumlife]

Just questioning my parenting!

What would you do if your three year old, in protest to going home rather than 'somewhere fun' (that had never been promised!) refused to get out the car. You try and get them out, they aren't co-operating so you leave them and walk away and they come in a couple of minutes later in a huff. You later go out to your car and find the drivers seat soaked in piss, piss splashed all over the dash etc.

He hasn't done it in fear of being left alone, I literally walked around the corner and he isn't scared of being in the car. He didn't wet himself by accident. There's nothing on his clothes and his pants are dry. He's deliberately gotten it out and pissed on the drivers seat. He's climbed over from his seat to do it on my seat.

He's in bed now and I've discovered it and I'm furious and genuinely don't know what to do. It's such a bloody calculated thing to do! I'm really disappointed he'd do such a thing to be honest. I know he's little but he's old enough to know that's wrong (and rank)

And for what it's worth, I'm extremely strict about my son's behaviour - shitty behaviour is absolutely not permitted.

Just bear in mind that this is the hilarious anecdote you will recount when he’s a teenager and brings home his first girlfriend/boyfriend, at his wedding, to his kids…..

In the battle of wills and wits, he’s won this one. At 3, the punishment needs to be actions and consequences so the thing to do would have been to make him clean it up straight after, so deep breaths, chalk this one up to experience, and let it go.

abmac95 · Yesterday 23:29
Pour some water on his car seat before you next go in the car. Tell him that you peed on it because thats what he did to you. Make him sit in the wet seat and go wherever you are going with wet clothes (which he thinks is pee).”

Oh for goodness’ sake, don’t be ridiculous.

Made to clean it, a telling off and no treats the following day. Then apologies and move on.

Excellent anecdote fodder, so at least there's that. He'll be regretting this day well into his teens 😉

At 3 he can't relate to a punishment the next day for something done the day before. Their minds haven't developed to that point yet, they live very much in the moment.

You're prefectly right to be furious with the wee shite (all 3 year olds are capapable of being wee shites on occasion, however much we love them) and to have a good old rant to yourself. But there isn't much you can effectively do about it, having discovered it so late.

I'm sorry but that is utter garbage! At 3 years old he bloody can understand that something naughty he did yesterday means he doesn't get to do something today.

If he doesn't know this already he needs to learn. Kids don't develop by themselves they need to be taught and learning that behaviour has consequences is part of that!

If we waited for kids brains to fully develop before disciplining them then we would be waiting till they were mid 20s!!!

Exactley!

@justgettingthroughtheday maybe read up a bit on child brain development, because that's not true

I agree with you .

I'm good thanks! I fear for your children though if you don't have the guts to teach them important life skills and discipline!

It's you who will be dealing with the aftermath of knife and drug crimes grip on your children's life after all!

Some variation of this is always thrown out on threads like this. I work with troubled families, often ones where the teenagers are involved in knife crime, drug dealing or other petty (or not so petty!) crime. I can assure you the families that I work with are not the ones reading up on child brain development and trying not to parent punitively.

No, they are more likely to be the kids and parents people avoid at play group because they are complete pita's

Schools don't have time to pussyfoot around the behaviour though so you tend to find most kids grow out of it once they go to school and are actually taught rules and the word no

Ha, I remember my little brother doing something very similar many years ago, at the same age. 3 year olds don't have a lot of control over their lives (because they are babies) but this was one way to express his displeasure.
Chalk it up to experience, and laugh about it on his 21st! And don't leave him alone where he can do any damage.

For me, any action of my DC's that had been done intentionally and would cause me a lot of work was followed by a natural consequence.

He doesn't understand just how inconvenient his wee in the car is but he will if you have to dedicate tomorrow morning to cleaning it together.

Sending lots of sympathy in your direction - what a horrible discovery to make! Just remember, he's 3 and doesn't fully comprehend the horror of what he's done.