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Parenting

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Original poster

Friend claiming training puppy like having a baby?

96 replies

Babymama2022 · 14/05/2023 18:51

I’m not sure why but I’m just feeling really annoyed at my friend for claiming training her puppy is like having a baby if not more tiring? She’s not had a baby and doesn’t ever plan on having one and I’m a single mother who’s absolutely exhausted and hardly had any sleep since baby was born a year ago. She claims she knows exactly how I feel with stress levels and exhaustion because she’s just got a puppy. Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way, but her saying this just didn’t comfort me at all and it just made me feel angry by her claiming having a dog is as exhausting as a baby/child.

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JandalsAlways · 14/05/2023 20:52

Well the way some people treat their dogs, I wouldn't be surprised. I've never had a puppy, and I don't it's comparable but I don't think you should allow yourself to get too worked up about it

Bizzyone · 14/05/2023 20:52

I have both here (although dog no longer a pup!) And can see why she would say that - could you just let it go and think of it as her finding common ground with you rather than taking offence?
Babies are hard, but so are lots of other things in life and I dont think us new mums have to always have a monopoly on tiredness/stress.. if they're a good friend I couldnt get worked up by this (and I say this with a 4 month old!)

BadBarry · 14/05/2023 20:56

I've have two kids and 1 dog. I don't want anymore babies or puppies but if someone said you have no choice you either have a puppy or another child I'd choose another child.
Honestly I love my dog, he's a bloody lovely family dog but he was an arsehole puppy and I never want a puppy ever again.

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Icannoteven · 14/05/2023 21:00

Having a puppy is very similar to having a baby, sorry. My second baby was actually easier than most puppies because she slept long hours at night from day one, napped easily and didn’t really require much in terms of stimulation.

you can’t just leave puppies to their own devices while they are being toilet trained, you have to keep an eagle eye on them at all times. Take them outside around every twenty minutes, train them, play with them, get up with them at night. Honestly, they can be more work than babies for the first few months.

it might be a bit grating to hear that if you have a difficult baby: non- sleeper though. I would have been pretty annoyed if someone had said this to me with my first (non sleeping, constantly feeding Velcro baby).

CurlewKate · 14/05/2023 21:01

I've done both. I'd choose a baby EVERY TIME!!

catshreddedthesofa · 14/05/2023 21:05

I have a 6 week old baby and 2 dogs. So far the dogs have been much harder and more exhausting as puppies.

I think it entirely depends on the dog/baby. I've found parenting fairly easy so far, but I do have a very chilled baby. As she gets more active this might change!

Agree with what a PP said, you get maternity leave with a baby. With a puppy you're potentially doing just as many night wake ups, but still have to go to work the next day, plus they want to play all the time you're not working.

PuppyMonkey · 14/05/2023 21:06

In all seriousness, I struggled a lot with the newborn stage with my DDs but got through it. Then years later when I got my (golden retriever) puppy, I struggled again and the puppy months definitely triggered those same feelings, for me of despair, depression, hopelessness ? I had when I was struggling with a newborn.

I’m not saying it’s exactly the same but it’s definitely a unique trial having to look after a puppy imho. Fair play to you if you just breeze through it and get on with life.. puppy blues is quite a well known phenomenon tbf.

Riverlee · 14/05/2023 21:10

We have a ten month old puppy and it is like having a newborn again - they don’t sleep, they wee everywhere, chew things and you constantly have to watch over them. It is hard work and stressful. So what she says isn’t exactly untrue.

Batalax · 14/05/2023 21:10

I’ve had babies and a puppy. At least the babies stayed still in one place and didn’t chew everything. It was like having a baby in some respects for the first year. It was hard being on constant alert. But then it got a lot easier.

Lindjam · 14/05/2023 21:11

Every single person I know who has had a puppy has said it was just like having a baby.

And 90% of those are parents of actual human babies 😂

TokyoSushi · 14/05/2023 21:14

It kind of is, and I have 2x DC. The fortunate thing is that it's just for a few weeks rather than years, and years, and years!

Littleoxforddictionary · 14/05/2023 21:14

You can give the puppy away, you can't give the baby away. Big difference there.

Vikingthings · 14/05/2023 21:16

Newborn babies are easier than puppies.

Sometimeswinning · 14/05/2023 21:24

bakewellbride · 14/05/2023 20:29

@Sometimeswinning I do see your point but I don't really see how my kids will spend 'the rest of their lives reliant on me.' That's not healthy surely? They grow up and form other relationships. Dh loves his mum dearly but he does not rely on her for anything and is independent.

No I hear you. Mine are 13, 12 and 8. I'm 40 but I assume I'll be on call forever. My mum and dad are in their 70's. Whenever anything happens I'm on the phone to them and if they can they still fix it. Plus I'm independent because they helped with that.

Completely off topic I know but you made me think 🤣!

stillbejeweled · 14/05/2023 21:27

I don't compare them but actually having a puppy is really hard so I get it.

I really though I was prepared for having a puppy but it was exhausting including sleepless nights, endless fucking shit and piss and crying constantly for attention. At least with babies most of the piss and shit is contained in a nappy. 😄

Atethehalloweenchocs · 14/05/2023 21:31

IME they are a similar level of work, but it is far far shorter with a puppy, and it is a lot more socially acceptable to let someone else look after them for a while.

tabulahrasa · 14/05/2023 21:32

Obviously you’ve no physical effects from getting a puppy and they turn into dogs while a baby won’t even necessarily be a toddler yet after the same amount of time, and obviously there’s not the same worry about schools, what sort of adult you’re raising etc. With a puppy.

To put it in perspective I prefer adult dogs over most humans...

If I had to look after someone’s newborn or an 8 wk old puppy for 48hrs, I’d take the baby. Because either way you’re getting no sleep and spending most of your time looking after them, but the baby has nappies and stays where you put it and it’s definitely not chafing your feet round the house with a mouthful of needle sharp teeth.

But, it’s all a bit irrelevant because only you will know whether your friend was trying to be empathetic or dismissive... and that’s really the issue.

Fedupmum21 · 14/05/2023 21:32

I’ve got three DC, my middle was very premature and poorly, had severe reflux and failure to thrive and a whole world of hell. My third was also premature and we had issues with BF that caused lots of stress, couple with medical needs of my middle daughter. But my first baby was so easy and as I only had the one, I really enjoyed my maternity leave as she was an easy going baby who fed and smiled. Lots of walks and lunches with friends. I also have an almost 6 year old lab- potty training and training her not to bite was utterly awful and I would pick reliving having my first born over training my dog every time! But doesn’t compare to my younger two babies!

RedToothBrush · 14/05/2023 21:35

Ask her to babysit then.

Her reaction will be interesting.

BounceyB · 14/05/2023 21:35

I've done both and work with small children. The main difference is that you can leave a puppy for a couple of hours and the benefits of training are quicker. The similarity is that the same principles apply - simple language and lots of encouragement usually leads to a positive result.

Puppies are definitely easier but they are comparable.

ooblavay · 14/05/2023 21:37

I'm with your friend. I was a single parent with my eldest dd and my youngest had a dairy allergy and didn't do anything but scream and breastfeed for months. And then didn't sleep through the night until the age of 4. Still over all easier than my 8 month puppy. The training is constant and intense if you want them to grow up to be well behaved and well adjusted. The phases move on a bit quicker though!

Srin · 14/05/2023 21:38

I find the comparison between babies/children with dogs really odd. I like both but they are not comparable. You wouldn’t say caring for your elderly parent was like looking after a dog because it would just be weird and quite offensive.

Tinybrother · 14/05/2023 21:40

I haven’t had a puppy since I was a child (so I wasn’t in charge of it), so I have no comparison, but you don’t get a puppy when it’s newborn so it doesn’t surprise me that it’s hard in different ways - you get a puppy when it’s the equivalent of a toddler whereas by the time your newborn reaches toddlerhood you’ve had a bit of practice and the whole process has taken more time. But within a couple of years puppies are dogs and if you’ve put the work in will be much easier to take care of than children after the equivalent time.

bakewellbride · 14/05/2023 22:07

@Sometimeswinning I see what u mean!

To be honest when people say puppy is like baby it really puts me off. Dh and eldest dc would love a dog one day but dd was a challenging baby and I've always said never again! I of course adore dd but never want to be that tired ever again.

Qbish · 14/05/2023 22:12

I had a puppy a few years before I had a baby, and having the puppy was definitely good training for having the baby :-)

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