Friend claiming training puppy like having a baby?

[Babymama2022]

I’m not sure why but I’m just feeling really annoyed at my friend for claiming training her puppy is like having a baby if not more tiring? She’s not had a baby and doesn’t ever plan on having one and I’m a single mother who’s absolutely exhausted and hardly had any sleep since baby was born a year ago. She claims she knows exactly how I feel with stress levels and exhaustion because she’s just got a puppy. Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way, but her saying this just didn’t comfort me at all and it just made me feel angry by her claiming having a dog is as exhausting as a baby/child.

I think your being a little over sensitive here OP. Both are hard work in different ways. Is it worth falling out with a friend over?

As someone who has had 2 babies and 1 puppy, honestly I found the puppy harder, albeit that it was for a shorter period of time before things got better.

When I had my babies I had paid leave from work and ONLY had to concentrate on being a mum, plus everyone was rallying round with support. With a puppy I was on my own, still having to work and carry out other responsibilities, with no concessions or anyone helping. My puppy was far needier than my babies, slept far less, and obviously didn't wear nappies so until toilet trained was shitting and weeing all over the floor. It nearly broke me tbh in a way that having my babies didn't. I'd describe the early days with my babies as the best days of my life, where as I'd describe the early days with my puppy as the worst days of my life.

It's really not comparable and the puppy difficulties are over with very quickly compared to a baby. Toilet training and all the teething for instance is all done within the first year. There is no rocking to sleep for naps, changing nappies, weaning etc!

She claims she knows exactly how I feel with stress levels and exhaustion because she’s just got a puppy.

Well, obviously, she's silly to claim she knows exactly how you feel, as no-one can know that, regardless of what pets they own.

But unless she was deliberately going for one-upmanship or trying to minimise your feelings, then I don't see why it matters that she's comparing the two? It's not a competition and there is no definitive answer as to whether babies are always harder to care for than dogs as it's a very subjective question.

What do you get out of it if you win the hardship contest?

Depends on the puppy and depends on the baby.

For those of you that say it is annoying when people call themselves dog parents pls have empathy. Some people long for children abd can't have them for whatever reason. Having a pet is the closest they may get.

I have a child and have had dogs my whole life. Having a puppy was harder for me. Even now my dog is 6 years old and he ties us down so much, we’ve already decided when we lose him we won’t be getting another! We absolutely adore him, he is my baby but honestly it’s harder trying to sort out a babysitter for the dog than it is my son 😂😂

I've had both. I think babies are much harder especially as a mum who BF. Puppies can be dicks a lot of the time but go through stages much more quickly than human babies.

I’ve done both and there are definitely similarities - although the puppy stage passes more quickly, certainly.

For some people who can’t have children or don’t want to have them then their dogs are their equivalent children - I don’t think it’s nice to sneer at that.

Just sympathise with her that she’s having a tough time. You can inwardly disagree but still be supportive.

to be honest I had a puppy once which kept me awake at night more than Dd ever did. And my current dog is 9yo and wakes me at 6am every single day which again Dd didn’t.

I've had both, ds was a high needs baby, waking a minimum of 8 times a night until a year old along with numerous other issues. I can honestly say that was easier that my youngest dog when she was a puppy. My older dog was easy so it depends on the dog though. Every baby and puppy is different so I get it.

There is no comparative. Your child will spend the rest of their life reliant on you. People seem to replace a dog pretty quickly because they miss having a dog around!

The emotional reliance is not even close. It maybe hardwork having a puppy but it's lifelong with a child.

Yanbu. You're friend is pretty clueless/stupid etc.

There are some similarities but since a puppy tends to learn skills like toileting and sleeping exponentially faster than a baby, nope. It’s laughable that someone who hasn’t had a child feels able to comment. And yet they do. I think derisive laughter is all you can do here.

Both need obedience training.
At present it seems to have proven impossible for the owners of both.

Looking after a puppy is flipping easy compared to a baby. At least with a puppy you just keep giving them treats whenever they do something the way you want them to and they quickly get the message. You can’t feed a newborn chocolate button rewards all day long can you 😂😂 they simply do what the fuck they want until they grow 😂😂

People are idiots. I'm a widow, and a mum actually said to me 'oh I know how you feel, my husband works away most weekdays'. Yep, she really meant it too.

@Sometimeswinning I do see your point but I don't really see how my kids will spend 'the rest of their lives reliant on me.' That's not healthy surely? They grow up and form other relationships. Dh loves his mum dearly but he does not rely on her for anything and is independent.

I've had 3 children and still say having a new puppy is harder

I had a friend say this to me when she was pregnant with her first. Annoyingly, years later, both her dogs and kids are incredibly well behaved whereas my dog and kids are feral little toads who show me up on a daily basis so I fear she may have been correct.

I agree with this. Puppies are a nightmare in the beginning. At least babies don’t bite you. I have 4 dcs and they were way easier.

I found having a new puppy harder work than a baby. I think your allowing this to annoy you when you it shouldnt.

Have to disagree here - my baby is very much biting me! She bit my nipple today and I literally screamed. It was painful.

I’ve had multiple of both and tbh the first week or two of a puppy is very similar to having a baby.

I’ve got two dogs that I’ve had since puppies and a 18m old human. The dogs are 6 and almost 3. It’s a toss up some days which one is being the biggest pain in the arse.

There are a lot of similarities and there are really hard bits with both. A puppy will only sleep 2 hours at a time so very similar to a newborn. However, unlike a newborn we’re you can focus on feeding and vegging on the couch (with a first baby anyway), with a puppy you need to be alert because they’re mobile and teething so they’ll piss and shit on your floor, chew your cupboard or your couch or even eat your bloody wall if you’re vegging on the sofa. Puppies are a really destructive toddler and you’re operating on a few hours sleep. For most puppies the sleepless nights stops after a few months but you could have lost quite a bit of furniture by then. They remain like toddlers for the rest of their life though.

With Dog2 there was a period of about 4 months where I hated him. We didn’t rehome him because we knew he was just being a twat puppy and he’d get better but I hated him. It’s not been easy with DD but I’ve never hated her. When she’s been difficult it’s always been more rewarding than Dog2, the reward factor with dogs can be quite delayed.

The stresses - it depends if you’re focussing on the day to day or bigger stuff. I’ve done a 11pm emergency vet run and I’ve done a 3am call to 111 followed by an A&E visit, both were really stressful and I was worried for both dog and baby. As I said at the beginning of my post, any one of them can be the biggest pain in the arse that day. For DD I worry about if she’s developing appropriately, whether she’s going to be negatively impacted by not living near grandparents and likely not having a sibling, what we need to save now so she can university and a house whilst also saving for our retirement.

I've had a baby and puppies. I can genuinely say my puppies were much harder work than my baby. I guess it depends what kind of baby you get!

I know my friend did not mean it insensitively in any way by the way. I am certainly not falling out with her over it! I guess I’ve just been mentally and physically drained for the past fortnight in particular and I’m at a really low ebb so it just wasn’t what I wanted to hear!