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Original poster

Found out I'm having a boy - freaking out a bit!

65 replies

Asher09 · 25/04/2023 13:26

I have a 16 month old daughter and am 5 months pregnant with my second baby who I found out is a boy.

My husband always wanted 1 girl and 1 boy (his family dynamic) so he is over the moon and I'm so happy for us but I feel a bit out of place. I have a sister and grew up around a lot of girls. I don't have a brother and didn't have a dad for part of my childhood so theres hardly any male influences in my life. I always pictured myself with atleast 2 girls... don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for this pregnancy and what is a healthy baby, I know I will love my baby so please dont judge BUT...

...I'm panicking at how to be a boy mum, how difficult or different will it be to a little girl? How will I connect with my son? What will my daughter and sons relationship be like? I know a lot girls want sisters so I feel a bit sad for not giving my daughter that.

Any boy and girl mums out there that can advise? Anyone with a brother who can speak on their sibling relationship?

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PranksoK · 25/04/2023 13:33

Honestly once he’s here all your worries will vanish, you’ll just adore your little boy. I have two boys and a baby girl and my girl is much more high energy than either of my boys have been! Just parent them the same. And I think whether they are close is down to personalities - I have two brothers and we are close!

Moon12345 · 25/04/2023 13:34

Mum to a boy and I have two brothers myself. One is 2.5 years younger, the other 10 years younger. They are two of my best friends! We have an amazing relationship, they come to me with problems when they don’t feel as comfortable going to my mum (she’s a real worrier) and we have a lot of fun together. I would also say as the only girl, it made my mum and me even closer. I will also reassure you that my brothers absolutely worship my mum - they are always phoning, asking how she is etc, despite living in different countries. As a mum to a boy, it’s nothing but the best. We have an incredible bond, and I hope our relationship is similar to that of my brothers and my mum as he grows up. I’m sure having a sister would have been lovely, but growing up and as an adult, I seem to have a lot less stress in my life having brothers compared to friends with sisters!

Lcb123 · 25/04/2023 13:34

It was 50/50! Children/people are more than their sex. You have no idea what they will be like, worrying won't help. Just be a present and loving parent.

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StopGrowingPlease · 25/04/2023 13:35

I’m an only child so I can’t say much on the sibling aspect but when I found out I was having a boy I definitely had gender disappointment. I wanted a little girl that I could dress up and put in gymnastics ect. My baby boy is now a toddler and I couldn’t imagine my life without him 🥰 I love being his mummy and he does gymnastics amongst other toddler classes so that was a silly worry really 🤷‍♀️ I want to have another child in a few years when he starts school but I don’t want to know then gender first next time as it opens up negative thoughts and assumptions that you really don’t need when you’re pregnant. Plus, I now know that the gender of my child won’t affect my love for them or my enjoyment of being their parent ❤️

AnnPerkins · 25/04/2023 13:40

I wish you would rethink your preconceptions, they are not helping you and really unfair on your son. There’s no reason why a girl would love a sister more than a brother. And you can be just as close to your son as your daughter.

I have an older sister and a younger brother. I played with DB far more when we were kids and I’m equally close to both of them now.

Riverlee · 25/04/2023 13:49

Congratulations on your little boy.

However, I do think you’re overthinking this a little and You’ll be fine. You’ll connect with baby ds in exactly the same way you connected with baby dd. Ie with love. You may not have much male influence in your life, but you soon learn. Also, a lot of brothers and sister siblings have great relationships, and having two the same sex doesn’t guarantee unity (think William and Harry!).

kezziecakes · 25/04/2023 13:51

I have a boy and a girl and honestly, they're really similar. Maybe that changes as they get older but at the moment there is no difference in our relationship or their behaviour or even interests. They are also best friends (age 5 and 7 so again, this might change.)

Rainallnight · 25/04/2023 13:52

My little boy is the light of my life, apple of my eye and by far the most straightforward and loving relationship I have with anyone I know 😂

bumblebeees · 25/04/2023 13:59

Omg I felt like this with my first as I so badly wanted a girl, but my little boy is now 5 and he's amazing he's one of my best friends and my other best friend is younger son!! Boys are so much fun and so loving and total mummy boys so lots of cuddles etc. u will love it

LemonSoap1 · 25/04/2023 14:00

I have sisters and went to all girls schools so I think I know how you feel. Try not to worry you will be absolutely fine. I have a son and daughter, my son was the calmest, most easy going baby and is a very kind, affectionate 19 year old man now. He has no interest in football, has never shouted or slammed a door, very polite and so good natured. I think you will really enjoy your son. Congratulations.

Miriam101 · 25/04/2023 14:01

Being a "boy mum" is exactly the same as being a "girl mum". Whether or not your two children will have nothing to do with their sex and everything to do with their personalities and the way you parent them. [Congratulations from a mum of a boy and a girl who love each other immensely and get on like a house on fire.]

MissyB1 · 25/04/2023 14:01

Being mum to a son is no different to being mum to a daughter 🤷‍♀️
kids all have their own personalities, you connect with them and parent them based on that. Their sex is not what determines your relationship with them.

Miriam101 · 25/04/2023 14:01

Sorry for garbled sentence! "Whether or not your two children will GET ON have nothing to do with their sex" that was supposed to say...

LemonSoap1 · 25/04/2023 14:04

He and his sister get along well, she adores him (asks for a hug from time to time) and he reluctantly obliges! He is kind to her friends too.

Daftasabroom · 25/04/2023 14:04

Congratulations @Asher09!

You've got about 14 or 15 years to save for the extra food bills.

ILookAtTheFloor · 25/04/2023 14:05

I'm pregnant with a boy now after 2 girls. It took ages to get pregnant this time and I'm am delighted and excited, but in all honesty if I had the choice I would have chosen a third DD.

My biggest worry (and this is awful, middle of the night, feel so guilty to even type this) is more likelihood of having SEN. Especially as my DH is 45. I know I'll love him so much and already do but I can't help that thought.

justme2022 · 25/04/2023 14:06

I have one of each and they have about the same age gap yours will have. They are incredibly close to each other and me. When I was pregnant with my son I got loads of "get ready, it'll be a lot harder with a boy" crap off of people but there really isn't much difference having a boy to having a girl (risk of having your face peed on aside)

Nachobowls · 25/04/2023 14:07

I don’t get this tbh you’re assuming if you had a girl they would be close, my sister is 18m Older than me and I can’t stand her and we’ve never got on even as children. I have a boy and a girl who were born 12 months apart and it’s fine, I wouldn’t say they are super close but they do get on and being a “boy mum” is no different to being a “girl mum”

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 25/04/2023 14:09

I have 5 girls and 3 boys. In my experience when young there is no real difference between parenting a girl or a boy. I am finding eldest ds much easier in the teenage years than his sisters though.

Ruffpuff · 25/04/2023 14:10

I grew up with a sister and no dad in the picture. I had a boy and it’s fine. You get a newborn baby with no gender awareness at the end of the day. Just raise your child like you would any child regardless. I don’t consider myself a specific ‘boy mum’ just because I don’t have a girl!

Capitalismwantsyou · 25/04/2023 14:11

I felt this too at first... esp having only one child. i felt i have so much to teach a little girl.. but then i realised i have so much to teach a little boy... about girls and women! Xxx don't worry it'll be lovely and congrats!

AllOfThemWitches · 25/04/2023 14:12

Did you not realise it was a 50/50 thing?

kfiend · 25/04/2023 14:12

Rainallnight · 25/04/2023 13:52

My little boy is the light of my life, apple of my eye and by far the most straightforward and loving relationship I have with anyone I know 😂

This!!

ZacharinaQuack · 25/04/2023 14:15

AllOfThemWitches · 25/04/2023 14:12

Did you not realise it was a 50/50 thing?

I have a boy but had way more experience with girls (nieces, friends' children etc.) and for some reason always pictured my DC as a girl when imagining what it would be like to be a mum. So was actually quite taken aback to find we were having a boy! Now he's here, we obvs can't imagine anything different and are TTC again and can't imagine having a girl...

Don't really think there's much difference except that boys piss in your face more when you open their nappy.

angiec89 · 25/04/2023 14:15

Have three kids, two boys and a girl. DS1 is by far my 'easiest' child. DD is the nuttiest of the three!
It depends more on the child than the gender, I wouldn't worry about it x