Found out I'm having a boy - freaking out a bit!

[Asher09]

I have a 16 month old daughter and am 5 months pregnant with my second baby who I found out is a boy.

My husband always wanted 1 girl and 1 boy (his family dynamic) so he is over the moon and I'm so happy for us but I feel a bit out of place. I have a sister and grew up around a lot of girls. I don't have a brother and didn't have a dad for part of my childhood so theres hardly any male influences in my life. I always pictured myself with atleast 2 girls... don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for this pregnancy and what is a healthy baby, I know I will love my baby so please dont judge BUT...

...I'm panicking at how to be a boy mum, how difficult or different will it be to a little girl? How will I connect with my son? What will my daughter and sons relationship be like? I know a lot girls want sisters so I feel a bit sad for not giving my daughter that.

Any boy and girl mums out there that can advise? Anyone with a brother who can speak on their sibling relationship?

Don't worry at all OP. My oldest is a girl and I have 2 younger boys. You will love having a boy. Mine are funny, kind and sensitive. My DD is lovely but hormonal at the moment. I thought they would of changed by now with teenage years but they are still lovely. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I’m really not judging but I just don’t get this

you love your baby and treat them like they’re the most precious thing on this earth (they are) regardless of whether they’re male or female and then just go with it. You don’t change or alter your approach to parenting just because your new baby is a boy 😵‍💫 it doesn’t matter what influence you have or haven’t had, you just keep your new baby alive, love them and what will be will be

FWIW I have a little boy and he’s the absolute apple of my eye, incredibly loving and there’s not one thing I would change.

I grew up with one boy and the rest were girls.

I have a boy. Oh my god my heart bursts with love for him.

He's 11 and he's still the cuddly huggy affectionate boy I had as a baby. He's very close to me - we like similar stuff (we loved Wednesday! The Glass Onion and Knives out, we are both big lego and Potter fans)
He's artistic, creative, funny and quirky and loving. We have a similar sense of humour, yet he's got a good pragmatic head on him from his dad. His dad does the more boisterious stuff with him and they kick a ball in the garden at least daily. But he loves cooking too, so we do that together if we aren't reading or building lego. He's kind and loves animals and has a tender heart. Boys aren't much different to girls - it's more a personality thing.

I know in a year or two he'll be a smelly grunting teen for a few years before he turns into my sunny wee man again so I'll take whatever cuddles are still on offer.

I really dislike messages likes this, not a dig at you op but it happens a lot and it's usually only with posters expecting a boy. It somehow suggests boys are not as worthy as girls which makes me sad as a big mum- understand that is not your intention but comes across with the amount I see.

Anyway I may have a different view as I have boys and always wanted boys. I have a full family of girls and no father/grand dad/ uncle figure. If I had another I would love a boy but would like f course be happy for either sex.

I really don't think it makes much difference overall and as you have said you'll be so happy when little one arrives you won't think twice.

Boy mum*

My boy (16) and girl (18) get on brilliantly. It was tricky at times when they were younger as they didn't have much in common, but they do now.

And parenting a boy is just the same as a girl!! My ds is more huggy and demonstrative than dd, and we share lots of interests.

You will love them both equally.

I felt exactly the same as you when I was pregnant with my second, a boy after having DD1. I also had a sister and grew up around girls. I feel guilty now for feeling disappointment not to have given my daughter a sister as he is adorable and she loves him so much. no one can make him giggle more than her.

I've come to think that you get what you need. I never had a brother but was awkward around boys (also went to a girls school) and in my early jobs felt intimidated by men. my daughter will grow up with that familiarity and know that she's more capable than many men.

I've spent some time reading through the thread and wanted to say thank you to those who have been really understanding... i've also really enjoyed reading your personal experiences and stories!

To reiterate... I'm not disappointed i'm having a boy, nor do I think they are less than. Yes babies are babies regardless of their gender and I was always aware that I could have either.

My worries and concerns were more about me lacking that experience and exposure from my upbringing and surroundings. Theres a certain confidence I had when my daughter was born that I feel I don't have this time around knowing its a boy.

Some of you have also shared some solid advice and words of encouragement so thanks again ❤

I have one brother, no sister. I don’t feel deprived in any way!
I have two boys of my own, no girls. Again, no deprivation! My boys were and are loving and close to me - I’m very lucky. I’m sure you will be blessed too.

My DD wanted a baby sister, but was actually thrilled when I told her we were having a boy! Even though she's a real girly girl and I'm not, I felt similar in being unprepared for a girl but it does pass! My DD is an amazing big sister to her brother, and doesn't actually make any difference to her now he's here.

I have a son and daughter son 24 daughter 21 and are really close. They are both autistic but if my daughter is upset. She want's a hug off her big brother. Even though he wind's her up.😂😂😂I myself have two sisters and a brother. My older brother I get on okay with. My older sister I don't but get on ok with my younger sister.

I have a girl then boy, both preschoolers. I also didn’t have any brothers growing up so boys felt a bit alien but I was thrilled to have a boy. He’s an absolute delight. Funny, cheeky, loving. Also totally into vehicles of all kinds, dragons and superheroes. An individual, like his sister. You will love him to the moon and back ❤️

I only had sisters, so it'll be interesting if I have a boy. The bonding with a boy doesn't worry me, its more the right way of looking after/cleaning their boy parts as a baby without hurting them that concern me! Obviously I know what a penis looks like but funnily enough by the time I met my first penis the owner had the maintenance figured out for themselves long before I met them 😅.

My eldest is a girl, my best friend and amazing. My youngest is a boy, and the bond we have is incredible. He's such a mummy's boy, so loving and sweet. My daughter is much more independent and grew up really fast, whereas he still seems very young and needs me a lot more (he is only 6). I absolutely love having one of each, she loves having a little brother and he adores his big sister. Congratulations op ❤️

There is no such thing as being a ‘boy mum’. He will have his own personality that you can’t predict right now. He might be extra girly and be obsessed with sequins, an animal lover or want everything car related. You’ll grow with him, just as you did your daughter.