Which age of parenting was hardest for you?

[tulipsandteacups]

Interested to know... and why?

Teens. DD wasn't a horrible teenager, but other teenagers were horrible to her.

I'm finding the teenage years really tough with DS1. Up, down and around the bend. He was such an easy little boy that this has been a right shock to the system. I dread having 2 teenagers in a couple of years!

DS is 3 next month and I’m finding him a lot easier of late, although I don’t think he’s ever been hugely difficult (there have been times I’ve believed him to be but my perspective has generally been off.)

Two big things for me have been firstly sleep and secondly lack of chill time, just to be with my own thoughts for a bit. DS had a tricky time with sleep due to reflux and then ear infections as a young toddler. We ended up doing gentle sleep training at 18 months which was initially a game changer and he slept through but then very early wake-up’s became the norm. DH just didn’t get up (I know but hear me out!) so they fell on me and then I got pregnant with DD about a year ago and had terrible insomnia in the early stages of pregnancy, waking at 2 and going to sleep around 4 then DS was waking around 530.

This has stopped - no idea why and could start again but he’s reliably sleeping until 7, often half seven. He can also focus on and watch a TV programme, reads books with a vague sort of plot (I actually enjoy reading some of them) and plays imaginatively with toys.

DD (nearly 4 months) is quite an easy baby but she is still a baby. Meeting their conflicting needs can be hard. Current bugbear is potty training. But DS and I can have a conversation and a bit of reason has crept in sometimes. Last Saturday we had a swimming lesson and then a chilled day at home and I don’t honestly think we could have done that six months ago; he would just get bored and destructive.

They are adorable but I do also look forward to a time when I can breathe and have a bit more ‘me time’. It’s also nice when you can do a bit more with them - DS ‘got Halloween and bonfire night in a vague sense this year and same for Christmas.

Yup. Baby stage was much more challenging for me, physically, mentally, and emotionally for me... no sleep, screaming and colicky baby- not being able to soothe the crying, feeling like a zombie, days all blurring into one, self doubt, catastrophising and paranoia about SIDS, mental pressure on myself about other people's expectations... couldn't do those days again.

I've had two 14yo boys (at different times, not twins) and mine were def harder as toddlers!

15-22

Teenage girl, nightmare

Young adult son - significant MH issues.

0-15 piece of cake all 3.

15-19 by a landslide. Never have I felt more incapable than during that period. In second place would be 2-4 the two stages have a lot of similarities!

All grown up now and bloody lovely

I always thought I’d say baby, but there’s a shock in the teenage years when generally pleasant, teens start start refusing to do everyday normal things because they know when it comes down to it that you can’t make them (saying that overall very lucky with them!) Also watching hormones kick in- my very quiet 13yo sometimes starts shouting and you can see in his eyes he has no reason why he’s getting so het up

Ps to people with small babies and young toddlers at the mo ye do deserve medals- the sleep, the non stop of everything, myself, dh and youngest (8) sat in ikea the other day eating and watching people trying to catch their toddlers or trying to console screaming babies I wanted to go over and hug to parents (and ikea is exhausting enough!)

I’m always worried about jinxing things but so far I’m loving the teenage years. We’re five years in and have three of them in their teens and so far it’s still way way way better than baby and toddler. Worst by far was when they were all pre schoolers at the same time.

Teens.
I totally didn't see it coming, having done all the 'right' things until then and raised well-behaved, "a real credit to you" DC who were reasonable, kind and caring. It's as if a switch has been flicked.

Early teens 13-15 roughly.

Honestly, I thought people were being dramatic and "how can anything be harder than newborn/toddler etc".

How wrong I was.

Make the most of the younger years.

My eldest is almost 20, one in the middle and youngest is 12. Mix of genders. I can categorically state that so far it is ALL hard! Different ages bring different challenges. The worries of sleep, weening, potty training get replaced by worries around friendships, academic challenges. They then get replaced by worries around social media, relationships, safety when out alone and their future post school. There is no hardest part. It is all the same and relative. I am still trying hard to enjoy each stage and each version of them while I am alive and well enough to do so!

Totally depends on the child. DD is still challenging but generally, each year is a little easier. When she was 4 it was particularly difficult.
DS is a breeze in comparison. He just needs toys and exercise and he's happy.
I'm fully aware we haven't hit teen years yet though...

Totally agree, I’ve experienced colicky babies, difficult toddlers but the teenage years were something else, it’s just the fact that you have so little control but all the responsibility. Toddlers are hard work but you can physically stop them doing what you don’t want them to whether that’s putting your purse or dangerous things out of reach or stopping them leaving the house etc. Yes constant toddler tantrums over silly things is draining but nothing like the dealing with complex issues like school refusal

Going through it all a 2nd time we’re extra cherishing the ‘golden’ primary school years this time. Your don’t get back that time when they’re all a wonder on their first trip the science museum etc and past the stressful stage melting down over everything. First time around you’re just relieved they’re past the tantrum stage and don’t realise how much that 8 year old will change again in a few very short years.
Adult DC is really lovely in its own way too but still nice to have chance to do the golden childhood years again

I found the primary school years by far the easiest.
The emotional wringer that teenagers put you through is something I'm glad I only had to do once - friendship issues, bullying, relationship issues, public exam stress. I think it is worse these days with social media, and as the parent of a girl the pressures they are under with unrealistic expectations from boys.

Like other PPs I have wondered if the parents on here of young children, saying that age 2 was the worst, have actually parented teenagers yet.

2-3yrs. Coming out of daytime naps, unable to communicate fully, potty training etc. I am loving teenage stage, loved baby stage, found primary school age very easy.

There are quite a few parents of teenagers saying they found toddlers harder.

I don’t think it has to be or should be a competition. It’s obvious that different setups, children and circumstances will mean certain stages are harder. If you have a lot of support and ‘easy’ toddlers then that may be a fairly easy stage for you. If you have pretty chilled out teens and are fairly laid back yourself it’s likely that teens won’t be the nightmare they are presented as on here.

For my part, as DS approaches 3 (in 5 weeks) he’s a hell of a lot easier than when he was approaching 2. Yes, we have tantrums, struggling with potty training and threenager attitude but we understand one another which is a massive turning point!

Love this 🤣 - it sounds just like something my parents would say!

0-5. All got so much easier when everyone could manage their own coats and shoe laces!
One of my elderly relatives told me awful toddlers become lovely teenagers and so far, (late teens) it’s true for us!

@Consideratestone

”Two big things for me have been firstly sleep and secondly lack of chill time, just to be with my own thoughts for a bit.” This so much!

Mine’s nearly 2 and it’s just the relentless being ON all the damn time, plus the tantrums. And I was always someone that really needed down time to recharge. Last night I had a lovely night out with a friend but then this morning it was up at 6am and no reprieve from the feeding, dressing, cajoling, supervising, entertaining! It will be lovely when he can sort his own breakfast and I can have a cup of coffee.

That said, I don’t want to wish time away because he’s also so damn cute and delightful when he’s not having a meltdown or whinging 😆

15 - 20 so far. Bloody awful

They’re all different though aren’t they, and we as parents are all different individuals with different skills and abilities to cope with parenting challenges at different stages.

I found the toddler years incredibly hard work and often wanted to lock myself in a darkened padded room. I’m not good with noise or mess and I did not like being constantly needed: ‘Mummy, mummy, mummy, muuuuuuuummy….’ I also didn’t like not getting enough sleep.

Yes, I have had a 14 year-old boy, (he is now 15) and he wasn’t really any trouble. He was (and is) pretty lazy, grumpy at times and uncommunicative but he doesn’t get into trouble at school, he doesn’t seem to lose his temper, and has never been rude to me (to my face at least!) I don’t find him difficult to cope with. Your son is, I guess, a completely different character, but I hope things are improving/have improved for you. Hang in there.

Looks like I'm the outlier here but late teens to early 20s for me and still ongoing