In-laws insist on kissing 2yo on lips

[LetsGoDadding]

Hi all,

I know there's nothing actually sinister about grandparents kissing their grandchildren on the lips, but it's just not something I'm comfortable with.

My wife kisses our 2yo on the lips, and while I think it's unusual I don't mind. She says she'll 'obviously' stop when he starts school as 'not everyone does it'.

She defends her parents' right to do it 'to show their love and affection', but there are plenty of other ways to do that.

For me it's not a pleasant sight, and I think it has the potential to confuse the child as they learn what they should and shouldn't allow adults to do with them.

As a result my son tries quite forcefully to kiss me on the lips now, so I've no doubt it happens with other people.

Surely if one parent is uncomfortable with it happening, it's a bit more important that a grandparent's need to do it? They know I don't like it, and the main thing I don't get is why it's so essential for to them to do this.

I've asked my wife if they can stop, but she won't take it up with them and says it's my hang-up. If I take it up with them directly I can guarantee problems!

you ok?

They CAN catch the Herpes virus from a cold sore though which CAN & DOES kill babies & young children. Mine almost did from it so I know this for a fact.
No amount of head wobbling will change this I'm afraid

@CovertImage I'm northern and nobody around me does it. I wouldn't associate with anyone who kisses their kids or parents on the lips! I'd assume them to be a bit emotionally challenged

@Babyroobs Exactly - it's bloody crazy putting kids / babies at risk like this. I just don't understand why people would do it ? No common sense.

I'm just waiting for someone to tell me how wrong I am and laugh at the suggestion that babies die from cold sores (got that reaction on Facebook but funnily enough they removed it once I posted an NHS link!)

My child usually asks to kiss me on the tongue.... I draw the line there 😂

I'd be happy to cause the problem. If they are decent people they will understand your request. He is your son not theirs. Also I think it's strange I had to ask my mil to stop smacking my daughter "playfully" on her bottom. She's old and sometimes forgets but it drives me nuts I hate it and fills me with such rage. Maybe it's a me problem but I don't think it is. I agree there are other ways to show affection that don't involve intimate parts. It just gives nonse vibes to me

I’m shocked how many people think it’s gross. A tender moment between a parent and child. Do those that think it’s gross make your DH wear trunks if they share the bath with their child too?

That's so unhygenic

What if they do both consent?

It's very, very disturbing to see adults kissing children on the lips.

Not only that, but it's also a hell of a lot more dangerous than most people realise. The cold sore virus can kill infants & toddlers. Yes, really. The virus is more life threatening the younger the child is and you do NOT need to have an active cold sore to be contagious.

I was lead by my own kids on this.. this applies only to immediate family of course.. but I Kissed my children on the lips until they didn't want to any more which was usually around 3yo.
My wider family are French and Italian and all kiss each other on the lips even as adults, regardless of gender.
That's a bit much for me, altho I do politely return kisses when visiting them, I find it awkward as a British person.
Not everyone sexualises kisses as much as we do here in the UK.
For me parents and children kissing on the lips is not weird at all. I find it odd how people don't understand how culturally ingrained this taboo is. Do you think kids in Europe are more at risk of sexual abuse because of kissing on the mouth being acceptable? Of course they aren't. The risks are pretty much the same.

I’m 100% in the no lips kissing team.

While I understand your concern about cold sores, you're being rather hysterical to suggest that a lip-kisser is "emotionally challenged" as you put it. FWIW, one of my kids is a lipkisser with me, the others are not, and there's nothing sexual, weird or "challenged" about it. If you really see a momentary peck on the mouth as sexual, I think you've got a problem.

What the fuck?

How would a baby catching covid, coldsores, influenza, whooping cough or any number of other diseases transmitted via saliva, improve their immune system and prevent hayfever?

Why though? Why do you want to kiss him on the lips? Why are you depressed that other people don't - what exactly are we missing out on here?