Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

P1 Deferral (Scotland)

64 replies

Lillybank1 · 04/04/2023 22:18

Hi All, I have a little boy with a late December birthday, I have been tooing a frowing for months about whether to defer or not. I now need to make the decision on what to do. I just wondered is anyone else in the same boat? Is there any parents with children with earlier birthdays choosing to defer? Anyone overall thoughts and advice over what to do, I just don’t know what’s for the best 🙈

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dementedpixie · 04/04/2023 22:21

Have you spoken to the nursery to get their view?

Original poster

Lillybank1 · 04/04/2023 22:25

Yes, they said he would be fine to go but it’s that whole, surviving or thriving worry? As a covid baby/toddler he missed out on a lot of social play, I just wonder is this a good opportunity to give him that extra time back? I suppose im curious to know if others are taking up the opportunity to defer under the new rules.

OP posts:

clpsmum · 04/04/2023 22:25

I'm an early years teacher and would always encourage triple to defer if possible. What's the rush? Just means they get another year of fun and delay work by a year at the other end!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

Lillybank1 · 04/04/2023 22:30

Yeah, I also have this train of thought, I do wonder if I defer if he will be like a giant among little people, not cause of his actual height lol just being quite a bit older. The majority of his peers are going this yr, because of this it does feel uncomfortable deferring but in my gut probably feel its the decision i think would be best for him. Im getting caught up in knots worrying when it comes to it he will be upset with his friends going 🙈

OP posts:

Wupity · 04/04/2023 22:34

There is a child in my dc class who deferred and is December birthday. I am sure it was the right decision for him in many ways. But he is more than a year older than some children in the class and regularly gets asked by his peers why he isn’t in the year above.

Wupity · 04/04/2023 22:35

I think it’s tricky for a December birthday. Easier for January as most defer

Original poster

Lillybank1 · 04/04/2023 22:37

Yeah and he’s end of Dec so we’re talking difference of about a week but somehow feels very different 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

Crackery · 04/04/2023 22:39

In my experience, no one regrets deferring... so if there's any question in your mind, I'd encourage you to defer. ( Primary teacher of 20+ yrs in Scotland)

Wupity · 04/04/2023 22:41

One thing I would say though is that if there is any chance you think he may attend an English university it’s better to defer. Otherwise the age difference to his peers at that point is really quite big especially for a boy. We have been thinking about this recently what with the Scotland admissions stuff in the news and what universities they may apply to

Shadycurtain · 04/04/2023 22:44

I’d probably send him off nursery day he is ready. I have a similar birthday and was not deferred. I would have found it very patronising/slow if I had been held back a year as I was a very able child academically. That’s just me tho.

Dinoboymama · 04/04/2023 22:44

I know some August Born's who are deferring this year under the new deferral rules here in Scotland. Their kids will be turning 6 starting school next year.

I can't see the harm in deferring we would if our D's was not a July baby so didn't make the cut off for deferral. I can see why some may regret not deferring.

Shadycurtain · 04/04/2023 22:45

Sorry that should say “ if nursery say “

Hullobaby · 04/04/2023 22:45

We are deferring and it's pretty much the done thing in our school. With the change to the rules this year I think it will be more common going forward to unlikely he will end up the only one deferred and even if he is probably this year will be the last one that deferral is unusual.

I would always defer if I could, why rush and as you said the COVID babies missed out on so much.

Jules198711 · 04/04/2023 22:48

We have just made this decision with my dd. We have decided to defer, her birthday is 31st January though. My neice is mid December birthday and is starting school this year aged 5 after her deferred year. Its such a hard decision but I'm hoping we've made the right one. Can see my neice is absoulty ready now after an extra year.

randomsabreuse · 04/04/2023 22:50

I'm not deferring my November boy. He's among the biggest in nursery anyway and very capable of sitting still and listening. Very strong with good core strength as well. Also has an older sister who has been teaching him school stuff for a while...

LemonadePockets · 04/04/2023 22:53

My daughter is a late Feb birthday, I deferred her. She’s p2, and she’s always been tall for her age but actually she doesn’t look out of place.

My daughter was never going to struggle academically whether she started at 4 or 5 but emotionally and socially, I made the best decision for her by deferring.

it also means she won’t be the youngest when starting high school which I think is a bigger deal than being the youngest starting primary.

good luck with your decision!

Snugglemonkey · 04/04/2023 22:54

My child is early December, but we wil be deferring. It is encouraged by school. I want my child to have an advantage rather than a disadvantage.

It is not even just about if they are ready to start school imo, it is also how nature they will be in senior school. Not being the last one who can legally buy a drink or get a licence etc.

Jules198711 · 04/04/2023 23:00

P.s if you are on Facebook there is a group called Deferral Support Scotland which I found really helpful and has lots of advice from parents in the same situation.

Beginningless · 04/04/2023 23:00

It’s very hard. My youngest is late Sept birthday so we could defer, and I worry about her socially, not academically. My eldest is Jan and we didn’t defer, despite feeling this is ideologically preferable and wishing all kids started school later.

My main reason not to is both my girls are 99th percentile tall kids and both very capable academically. My eldest also had a wee peer group and we felt she’d experience it as being ‘held back’. My youngest is less like this but I hesitate mainly thinking of the gulf height and ability wise I imagine there would be between her and peers, a year later. I think my elder has been disadvantaged at times but she’s at a comparable level to her peers now. It’s a hard call!

Ginger1982 · 04/04/2023 23:02

My son is in P1 and I've been quite surprised by how many kids in his year have been deferrals. None of their parents seem to regret it. In contrast, someone withdrew their child as they felt they should have deferred. My friend also didn't defer her early Jan birthday child and bitterly regrets it.

FloorWipes · 04/04/2023 23:05

I don’t think my November born DD would want to be in nursery for another year. She has begun to separate herself from the younger children and position herself as a helper. I think she would be bored not to progress. However she isn’t an academic genius by any stretch, so I fully expect she will struggle in some ways, but then I don’t really see why that matters as she doesn’t need to be top of the class (which I often was and I think is actually a
burden and not be encouraged). She sits herself down to practice writing sometimes without prompting from me and she just seems keen to get on and learn to read and write as she is aware how much that might open up. So that’s my rationale for sending her.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 04/04/2023 23:06

I deferred my Feb birthday son and it was absolutely the right decision for him. He is the tallest in his class but someone has to be. If we hadn't deferred, he would have been the youngest by quite a margin with over a year between him and the oldest.

Given the number of people who do defer now, I doubt the age gap between an end of December child and the next child in the class will be particularly big. Certainly in my deferred dc's class, he's 3 weeks older than the next child (who wasn't deferred).

WeAllHaveWings · 04/04/2023 23:06

December is a tricky one. Ds was mid Feb so it was an easy decision and absolutely the best thing to do for him and I would recommend to any jan/Feb parent, but December does feel different.

When ds was playing footie for the 2004 team (as they go by year born) half the team were the year above him at school but that was ok as they all knew each other and got along well. Trying to get my head around the year change, but if you defer dec is he going to be playing, and potentially socialising, with some kids 2 years above him in school and more mature? That could be tricky.

roughtyping · 04/04/2023 23:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

JamMakingWannaBe · 04/04/2023 23:17

Dinoboymama · 04/04/2023 22:44

I know some August Born's who are deferring this year under the new deferral rules here in Scotland. Their kids will be turning 6 starting school next year.

I can't see the harm in deferring we would if our D's was not a July baby so didn't make the cut off for deferral. I can see why some may regret not deferring.

Wow. I have a Jan DD and chatting to my NCT group /nursery mums / nursery teachers we are (were?) all ready to send our kids at 4.5 but thinking they will have a 6yo in their year group puts a different slant on things.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread