Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Son and 2 mates just came in looking off their head

75 replies

loop2u · 18/03/2023 06:54

Just heard ds18 come home from a night out, gone in to his room to ask why's he back at this time and he's with 2 mates.
They all looked at me with wide eyes like they've def been on something.

He just said mum sorry can you go out I'm charging my phone! I walked straight out because I didn't know what to do or say.

What would you do leave them or kick them out? I don't want to start a big argument but I also don't want him thinking it's ok to come back at this time obviously off his head with 2 of his mates!

OP posts:
Original poster
loop2u · 18/03/2023 06:56

Well I was half a sleep. It's not 2 mates it's a mate and a girl. The mate has just left and now he's in his room with a random girl. I'm so pissed off!

OP posts:
cantstandmuchmore · 18/03/2023 06:58

Deal with it when he is sober / slept you won't get anywhere now if he really has taken something recently.

Hillrunning · 18/03/2023 06:59

I don't understand? Why wouldn't you want him to come home? We're you expecting him to stay out till late morning instead?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

18 years old Families General parenting
NancyJoan · 18/03/2023 07:00

He’s 18, he’s home and safe. Be cross about it for now, talk to to him about it later. Explain why you are worried, don’t get too cross.

You can’t stop him taking drugs, you could say you don’t want him coming home high (but then where will he go).

PortiasBiscuit · 18/03/2023 07:01

Hes been on a night out, has he really never been out all night before? It’s not a school night or work night. Why is this a problem? Was he making a noise?

Original poster
loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:02

Hillrunning · 18/03/2023 06:59

I don't understand? Why wouldn't you want him to come home? We're you expecting him to stay out till late morning instead?

He messaged me last night saying he was staying at his mates. I dont mind him coming home but bringing a mate and a girl back at 6.30am is something I don't want!

OP posts:
redbigbananafeet · 18/03/2023 07:03

Be thankful he has come home. Where would you rather he be?

StampOnTheGround · 18/03/2023 07:03

It's not an abnormal time to come back from a night out, I'd often be getting out the taxi in daylight at 6-7am

Original poster
loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:03

He's come back home at this time loads of times. The issue is coming back at this time with a mate and a girl I'm not happy about

OP posts:
LivingDeadGirlUK · 18/03/2023 07:03

I'm not sure why you went into his room to ask why he is back? Was he supposed to be somewhere else?

When we were 18 and going clubbing we would be out till that time even if just drinking, the perks of being young!

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 18/03/2023 07:06

loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:03

He's come back home at this time loads of times. The issue is coming back at this time with a mate and a girl I'm not happy about

Would you rather they hung about the streets? Confused

Original poster
loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:06

LivingDeadGirlUK · 18/03/2023 07:03

I'm not sure why you went into his room to ask why he is back? Was he supposed to be somewhere else?

When we were 18 and going clubbing we would be out till that time even if just drinking, the perks of being young!

I went in cos I heard him banging and wasn't expecting him to come home. I wanted to make sure he was ok. He usually always stays out after a night out. The fact he thinks it's ok to fetch a random girl back to my house that's what I'm not happy about

OP posts:
spurs4ever · 18/03/2023 07:06

@loop2u I wouldn't be happy with that either. No point having a discussion with him now though. Wait until she's gone and he's had chance to get himself together.

Original poster
loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:07

@ImSweetEnoughDarlin no I'd rather they all go back to their own house not mine!

OP posts:
carriedout · 18/03/2023 07:08

It is fine to tell him he can't have unplanned guests, although personally if a friend had no way to get home I would not want him to leave them on the street. It is difficult because it depends on how he treats the house.

But agree with the others, you will have to discuss when he is not under the influence.

Original poster
loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:11

carriedout · 18/03/2023 07:08

It is fine to tell him he can't have unplanned guests, although personally if a friend had no way to get home I would not want him to leave them on the street. It is difficult because it depends on how he treats the house.

But agree with the others, you will have to discuss when he is not under the influence.

I don't mind him fetching a mate back if he can't get home. I just don't want him thinking he can start bringing girls from a night out back.

I will speak to him when he's sobered up. To be fair he's never done this before, I just don't want him thinking it's something he can start doing

OP posts:
Dyslexicwonder · 18/03/2023 07:11

loop2u · 18/03/2023 07:06

I went in cos I heard him banging and wasn't expecting him to come home. I wanted to make sure he was ok. He usually always stays out after a night out. The fact he thinks it's ok to fetch a random girl back to my house that's what I'm not happy about

Show quote history

Does he live with you full-time? It is his home, why can't he bring friends back ?

steppingcarefully · 18/03/2023 07:12

My son used to do this all the time. I was happy he felt he could bring mates back and wasn't just hanging around the street somewhere at all hours. As long as they're not in your way or eating all your food, if it's just a bed or floor for a few hours until they leave, I don't see the problem?

jays · 18/03/2023 07:13

Hillrunning · 18/03/2023 06:59

I don't understand? Why wouldn't you want him to come home? We're you expecting him to stay out till late morning instead?

Maybe you don’t understand because you haven’t read the OP’s pos properly. She didn’t say she didn’t want him to come home.

Whoiscomingtosaveyou · 18/03/2023 07:19

People are being deliberately obtuse OP.
Once he’s recovered from whatever he’s taken, sit him down and have a chat about expectations. Tell him you’re happy with mates staying over but not one night stands ( your house your rules).
I’d also be reminding him that if he’s off his head and can’t remember anything and brings a random girl back it puts both of them in a vulnerable position.

Mumdiva99 · 18/03/2023 07:20

How do you know she's a random girl? Maybe he's known her a while? Wait before getting mad and talk to him later on. This could end up being a new girl friend.....

Ireallydohope · 18/03/2023 07:21

Why did you even go into his room he's 18

Whoiscomingtosaveyou · 18/03/2023 07:22

My last bit was worded wrong.
It puts both of them in a vulnerable position because they can’t remember things, not because they’ve come home! And maybe they should consider how much and what they’re taking.

Perfectlystill · 18/03/2023 07:23

OP I would be annoyed too.

Talk to him later when he's sobered up.

Whoiscomingtosaveyou · 18/03/2023 07:24

Ireallydohope · 18/03/2023 07:21

Why did you even go into his room he's 18

He was crashing about. It’s actually ok to check someone is ok regardless of their age