Can't stop obsessing over whether to have a 3rd child

[Ilovechocolate87]

Abit of background; I'm 35, mummy to 2 lovely girls aged 5 (nearly 6) and 15mths.Ever since my youngest was born i just constantly debate in my head whether I should have another one....i didn't get the feeling of definitely being 'done' after having DD2, although i don't feel like i desperately want another baby right now by any means, but its like I have this pressing need to be able to make a permentant decision either way in order to calm my head! But i just don't feel like I can.

I am so happy with our two wonderful girls who we've been blessed to have, and have tried convincing myself with making lists of reasons not to have another. There are many 'what if' ones and reasons which would mean it may not be ideal but would be doable, but no major no's such as previous high risk pregnancies or DH not being on board (he is happy to go along with either option) I can't currently invisage going through pregnancy, birth and disturbed nights (which I'm still in the thick of as both mine have been night owl babies!) all over again anytime soon,but then I wouldn't have done at this stage with DD1 either.I would never want less than a 3 year age gap between children personally, so if we did have another i would be 36/37.

I recently tested the water selling/giving away afew baby bits which I thought might help give me closure on having babies and help me feel more sure, but it has just made me feel worse and also made me ruminate over the decision even more!

I don't know if because of my age its hormone related, and also maybe because I knew we would definitely want 2 but never really thought past that.One thing I will say is that becoming a mum was all I ever wanted from a very young age....I have never really had many hobbies, or felt a need to progress alot in my career, although i like my job its not my main focus in life.I 'lived it up' in my 20s and still socialise lots, but most of my friends have children now too.I don't feel i'm missing out and desperate to 'get my life back' as some do.

Any tips how I can pleeeaaassse stop constantly obsessing over this whenever my mind isn't occupied with anything else....at least until we would be ready to try for another (if we ever are!)

Haha....Well....I got abit tired of being on the fence for so long over the August bank holiday....thought 'stuff it' one night and threw caution to the wind if you get what I mean....took the MAP after a couple of days of DH panicking and me dithering, but a month later got a positive pregnancy test so it clearly didn't work! 🫣😬😂 Have our 12wk scan on Thursday....still feels kind of surreal and I still feel kind of apprehensive as it was all so sudden! But hopefully all is well and think if so after the scan it will seem more real! DH says fate has made a decision for us.....

There is no right or wrong answer to this. If you and DH can afford another child and have the bedroom space for another child, then there is nothing stopping you. Write a list of the pros and cons.

I would say that we won't technically have the bedroom space....our two girls will to share.Hopefully we can move somewhere bigger in the next few years but no guarantees.Kids shared years ago and survived and thrived, each to their own if it bothers some people, but just saying i don't think it has to be a dealbreaker.

Congratulations :) I think your husband is right it was meant to be!

It’s great to hear an update from you as the original poster, as often you don’t get that :)

Aww thanks so much 😊💗