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How do explain to a 3 year old that their pet isnt coming back?

2 replies

mumzyof2 · 09/02/2008 09:22

Our cat was put down the other day, and Im waiting for my ds to ask where he is. He has an exceptional memory, and remembers everythings forever! so I cant just shrug it off for long.

Also, one of our dogs is going to another family next week, as we have 6 animals, and with another baby due, she'll be looked after better by them, and they are lovely and we know theyll really care for her/keep in touch etc. But ds is going to ask where shes gone.

I was going to say she was at the vets, but as he keeps asking me about things that happened 18 months ago(!!!!!) Im not going to be able to get away with it for long.
Im not sure what Im meant to say, I think hes a bit young to learn about animals being out down / rehomed etc.
Any help?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Heifer · 09/02/2008 09:38

When we had our dog put to sleep we told DD that he had died at the vets (she was with us when we took him) and that he had gone to heaven.

DD has already had some experience with death and heaven so she understood.

I certainly didn't tell her that we had decided to put the dog to sleep just that he died..

She excepted it really well and talks about him often asking if Aston is happy in heaven with nanna etc..

Re the rehoused dog - I would tell him the truth that the dog is going to live with the other people as they really really want a dog etc...

fortyplus · 09/02/2008 09:57

Children of that age have a very simplistic view of life and death. Just tell the truth about the dog and say that the cat has died and gone to heaven.

NEVER tell lies or say 'I'll tell you when you're older' about anything.

The secret of building a trusting, open relationship with your child is to answer questions truthfully without giving too much information that he won't understand. Just answer in simple, truthful terms that give as much information as he needs and no more.

He will worry about the animals so it's important for him to understand that they are safe and happy - even the dead cat.

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