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Parenting

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Original poster

to those that have no routine, may i ask why?

75 replies

beachlover · 08/02/2008 18:43

just wondered why you would have no routine?

is it because you don't want your life ruled by the clock?

OP posts:

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evenhope · 08/02/2008 18:45

Well we just never get round to it. Does it matter?

wildwoman · 08/02/2008 18:47

I take it you do?

needmorecoffee · 08/02/2008 18:47

I'm pretty lazy and just do things when I feel like it. Been a SAHM for 16 years too.
Only time clocks intrude is endless farking hozzie appointments.
Home education helps with no routine too

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mumzyof2 · 08/02/2008 18:50

Never needed to - ds slept through the night from 5 months old (until lately ) and I dont think he'd have benefited from it tbh. Also, Iv never been one for meals I pick out of the cupboards all day, so its easier just to feed ds when hes hungry.

Original poster

beachlover · 08/02/2008 18:51

no i don't never have, just wondered what your reasons are

i prefer to go with the flow although i don;t really know why
and im always getting asked are you in a routine

OP posts:

mumzyof2 · 08/02/2008 18:52

Oh, hang on, we do have one routine; Friday night = takeaway for me and dp.

karen999 · 08/02/2008 18:54

Ooh, I love routine. Could not do without mine! But I suppose I am a bit of a control freak....

PuppyMonkey · 08/02/2008 19:06

Yes me too Karen.... can't help myself.

Always been a stickler for routine, even before I had kids. Now I'm ten times worse to the point where I'm a pit panicky when things aren't done at a certain time. Eg. dd2 not in her pj's by 6.30pm. Aaaaaaaaagh! Pass me the valium...

And look, it's 7.06pm and my routine stipulates I must have a glass of Chardonnay now

Poppychick · 08/02/2008 19:22

Puppymonkey I'm the same!! Think I have OCD.

Original poster

beachlover · 08/02/2008 20:09

do you think more people have routines than not?

OP posts:

Psychomum5 · 08/02/2008 20:15

I never had a proper routine until mine started school.....and loved it!

I never felt the need to.......my girlies were just never the type that seemed bothered and I was lucky enough that they slept where ever and whenever the need took them......plus DH at that point worked away and at home and hours weren't always the same, so I felt that if they stayed up to see him and have time with him then that was more important than them going to bed at 'the right time'.

also, baths in the eveing woke them up to bouncy happy stage, so bedtime was when the finally flopped!

(even now tho, all mine cannot do evening baths, so we bath in the morning before school)

I love the school hols some much more now as beds and rising times are dictated by what we fancy doing

policywonk · 08/02/2008 20:18

I didn't know that there was such a thing until DS1 was about 2 and one of my friends had a baby and started routin-ing madly. I was completely baffled.

SAHM, breastfeeding, co-sleeping - the whole routine thing was irrelevant to me I suppose. I can see how you'd need one if you were preparing to go back to work.

Spidermama · 08/02/2008 20:18

We are both freelance and don't know from one month to the next when we'll be working.

I can't understand people who have routines. When people say to me, 'would you like to meet for coffee a fortnight on Thursday?' I can't possibly answer because how on earth would I know. It's a lifetime away. All sorts could happen between now and then.

Desiderata · 08/02/2008 20:18

I've never held to a routine. I think you have to be a certain type of person to do routines where small children are concerned.

DS has a bath when he stinks and not before, he eats when he's hungry, and the rest is all according to the weather.

I guess there's more need for a routine if you have more than one child, but some people do strike me as being very inflexible in their parenting approach.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/02/2008 20:19

Never, although they have fallen into their own routines.
We find it much easier, it means we are free to do things without panicking about getting home for bedtime/ naps etc.

Lulumama · 08/02/2008 20:20

it depends what you mean by routine, and from new born , or not, and routine for feeding or for nap times.....

i let my babies find their own routines, and followed their lead as much as i could

.. i know one couple who tried to follow a routine from a well known baby book,... and got terribly frustrated when their baby didn;t fit the routine.....

i got to know my babies, what cry meant hungry, what meant tired, or bored ,or windy.. DS definitely had no routine to speak of, until he went to nursery.... DD had to fit into the pattern of the school run but i didn;t follow a written set of rules or a routine from a book or a guru

so ,most people i know did not follow a regime from a book or of their own, but as your baby gets older, you often find they tend to want to feed and sleep at similar times....

karen999 · 08/02/2008 20:23

Routines, imo, are fantastic. I know exactly what I am doing and when I am meant to be doing it and that's what I need. I have always been like this, although in saying that when I had dd1 I was 24, had no idea about babies and really just went with the flow. It was a nightmare for years - poor feeding/sleeping etc. I put this down to the fact that all babies are different. When I had dd2 I decided to follow a routine (on the recommedation of my sister and friend) and I have to say that I have not looked back. She is a brilliant feeder and sleeper. Not sure if this is down to routine but I claiming that it is!!!

Desiderata · 08/02/2008 20:27

I think you were lucky, Karen999. I should imagine that the majority of babies forced into convenient routines wouldn't be half so happy!

chankins · 08/02/2008 20:30

I have always fed on demand, so didn't put my dc into routines as such when tiny babies, I let them find their own, regarding nap times and bedtimes too. But once they found this, i kept to it. So now bedtime is always 7pm for the dds, and 6.30pm ish for ds, as it is easier to get him to bed first. Dinner is always 5-5.30pm, just because we need enough time after dinner to get all three ready for bed etc. So we do have a routine, and once they start school it is unavoidable I'm afraid !

fingerwoman · 08/02/2008 20:31

I have never had a routine for either of mine. ds1 had slipped into one by himself by around 6 weeks-ish.
ds2 is 14 weeks and still all over the place.

I just don't need my life ruled by the clock, needing to be in certain places at certain time etc etc.
I breastfeed him anywhere and everywhere. he will sleep anywhere and everywhere.
I can pretty much do what I want (within reason lol) and go out on the spur of the moment without worrying that he'll miss his 12pm sleep in his cot or whatever.

I am a very disorganised person, routines just aren't for us

karen999 · 08/02/2008 20:31

Lol at Lulumama....I think I know the book you mean and I followed this!! It is frustrating, however if you cut yourself some slack and realise that it is only a book then it is far less stressful!

needmorecoffee · 08/02/2008 20:34

my eldest is at school now so he has a routine but I don't. He gets himself up and gets off. Leaves house at 7.30. I get up when dd (4) wakes up which could be anytime from 7 to 10am. DD eats 6 times a day but its done when she's hungry and the 14 yo either eats what i cook or makes himself something when he gets in from school about 5.
I spose some days have a rough routine in that fridays is the sensory support group at 11 and a taxi comes to pisk us up about 10ish.
And Holby is on at 8pm on a Tuesday

onebatmother · 08/02/2008 20:37

I think b-fing precludes a routine? did with me, anyway.
But I did find that life got a bit easier when I stuck vaguely to mealtimes as they got older. I was totally crap at reading hunger signals and would be flummoxed for ages while ds went loopy and vile before realizing it was years since he'd eaten. figuratively.

Lulumama · 08/02/2008 20:38

i read teh book, and quietly gave it back !!

and cast it from my mind

it didn;t take into account a school run and i don't like being told when to cream my baby;s creases

Thomcat · 08/02/2008 20:39

My eldest are 6 and 2 so they have a routine of sorts but one that just happened or had to due to school times and so on.

For my 4 month old, she is demand fed so she dictates to me when she wants to eat and she sleeps, well when she falls asleep really. she seems to have made her own sort of routine and life just flows on.

I know people that have strict routines and I can only see them between certain hours becasue they have to have their child at home in a black room etc. I just couldn't live that, it would make me unhappy. I like to be spontaneous, I like to just go with the flow. Nothing wrong with wanting a routine, it's just not for me, not a strict imposed one anyway.

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