Baby makes days out miserable

[Creamcakesandpastries]

Baby is 10 weeks old, EBF, not particularly content in general tbh, and I can count on one hand how many times I’ve properly ventured out of the house with him. One of these times was last weekend when I needed to go to the nearest decent town (40 mins away) to do some in-branch stuff with my banks. I made the effort to put some makeup on and got quite into the idea, thought maybe we could also try to have a nice day looking in some shops (mainly Primark which we haven’t got locally!) and having a coffee in a cafe. Husband and 2-year-old were coming too.

Well as much as we made the effort to sit down somewhere so I could feed him as soon as needed, kept him lovely and snug in his bassinet on the pram, kept the pram moving most of the time, he grizzled/ cried/ screamed pretty much the whole day. We still looked round Primark and some other shops, eternally hoping he would settle and go to sleep, but although he got close a few times he didn’t, and we were totally frazzled by the time we went home.

I was hoping it was just a bad day, but yesterday we needed to go again as I had forgotten a piece of documentation I needed for the banks, and he was almost as bad again. I even offered feeds pre-emptively this time, including in the car when we arrived at the car park before setting him up in his bassinet, and yet again he whinged all day, getting close to sleep but never properly settling. At one point my husband had taken the two kids to a cafe while I whipped round the banks, and as I was walking through the shop to the cafe at the back I could hear him screaming and came up see my husband cuddling him trying to console him. We wondered whether last time he didn’t like being too trussed up in his coat etc, so this time we put a jumper as an extra layer and used blankets to keep him warm but not too warm, and didn’t make a difference.

I’m just gutted that I finally felt like I wanted to be brave and get out in the world (I haven’t been great emotionally), just to find that going out as a family is actually miserable. I did make a massive effort both times to focus on giving lots of attention to our 2-year-old, who has also hardly been out lately and was born during the pandemic so hasn’t had the same experiences as other kids overall, but was conscious the whole time of poor husband trying to keep the pram moving, getting baby out for a cuddle when he was properly upset, deciding whether to find somewhere to feed him again even though it hadn’t been long since the last feed, rushing to try and look at what I wanted in the shops etc etc. I suppose it must be the big bad world being overwhelming for him and stuff because he’s so little, which I get, but I wish it wasn’t so debilitating.

I’m not sure what I want to achieve here, just sitting at 5-odd in the morning feeding him (having also fed him less than 1.5 hours ago and 2 hours before that, each time woken up by the most blood curdling scream which he keeps up throughout nappy change until latched on) feeling very sorry for myself! Thanks for reading if you have got this far!

Do try everything you can not to give artificial feeds. Babies change and grow. What you are going through now is temporary, but the benefits of breastfeeding are for life.
Don't bother expressing if it's a hassle, just settle down to breastfeed directly and enjoy time together with your preschooler.

Oh OP. I hear you. DS was such hard work as a newborn. He hated the bassinet and the car seat. Everyone told me the sling would be my friend but it wasn’t! He screamed in that too! At least he’d often scream himself to sleep in there. He could scream indefinitely in the pram. He too was a lockdown baby (now 3) but days out would have been a complete none starter - he found everything just too overstimulating, cried just far too much and he never, ever just dropped off like I thought newborns were supposed to! He too was EBF and it made me question my supply so much, along with reflux and cmpa and all that stuff.

Just to say, it got better. I’m not going to lie, he was always a high needs, high maintenance baby. He needed a routine and so much help to sleep it was unreal. But he started tolerating both the buggy and forward facing in the sling at about 4 to 5 months and it was so liberating - so much so we went the other way and were out of the house between every nap! He’s become a really straightforward toddler as well, which has been a blessing. I hope it gets better for you too x

I feel for you, my second was a difficult baby. EBF, bottle refuser but also would never be consoled by the breast. She fed really fast and if you offered when she wasn’t hungry she would scream and scream at you. So many times I’ve been in public with my boob out spraying milk everywhere with a furious baby swiping at me.
I found days out so stressful. Skip 2 years, she’s a delight. So much fun. Don’t get me wrong, she’s very ‘two’ but family days out with her and my lovely 4yo are on the whole a lot of fun. Exhausting but a lot of fun. Time will
pass, you’ll get there. Xx

Have you tried sitting him up a bit so his not lying flat ?

@Redebs

she doesn’t have to get everything, if she wants to stop breastfeeding for any reason at all she can

Yes my first hated lying in the pram. Never went to sleep in it as a baby. He was okay once he was old enough to sit in the sitting up buggy. Like…. 8months… In retrospect I think he may have had silent reflux or was just a baby that wanted to be held (which is perfectly normal). Or over-stimulated by the big wide world as you say. As others have mentioned, get a sling. Make sure you inform yourself about safe positions etc and don’t be put off if baby doesn’t instantly like it. Babies don’t tend to like the process of being put in one, especially when we aren’t sure what we’re doing, but as soon as you are walking around they will get calm and sleepy. So get everything else ready and then put baby in.