Anyone else get shamed for bed sharing??

[Peonnies]

I only partially co sleep I’d say. DS is 1 and gets in our bed around 12/1. On nights where he’s poorly or teething usually around 10/11!

I personally like having him next to me:) I suffer with anxiety and feel so much calmer and know he’s fine when he’s next to me! I love when he rolls over and scoots close to give me a cuddle <3

however , not my side I’d say. But DH’s side. Wow

his mum constantly says ‘babies should be in the cot’ ‘all of my children slept right through in their own cots’.
his brothers the same and dad

so now DH is starting to get on the he must be in his own cot all night bandwagon

i think while he’s this young and go so much going on - nursery bugs, teething, constant new skills learning. Why not?

I also love little moments where I look over at him and my husband and think about how blessed I am to have my happy healthy family

I get shamed too. My son is 4.5 and its just us two. He always goes to bed in his own bed but at some point he stealthily comes into mine. So what? I have a king sized bed, it isn't interfering with anyone else, we both sleep much better and he wants to sleep with me rather than be on his own. They are only little once and its nice to wake up with him.

Please don't listen to anyone else's negativity on this topic, it's none of their business. My two are now 15 & 19 and I still miss those sleepy snuggles.

At the time, others questioned me and I questioned myself, but now the only thing I'd do differently is to not worry about it. I co slept with DS1 til he was around 4 (when DS2 arrived). Can't remember how long it was with DS2, somewhere between age 2 & 4 he wanted his own bed.

It goes by so fast, make the most of the snuggles.

No. Nearly every family I know has done it or is still doing it. DD is nearly 4 and there’s been one night ever she didn’t come into our bed at some point. On the night I woke at 6 and she was still in her room I managed to wake her by going to the loo 😂

We started cosleeping when she was 4 months and started waking constantly with sleep regression. She’ll stop coming in when she’s ready.

I don’t ask or care what anyone else thinks about what works for our family. There are plenty of cultures who think the notion of banishing infants and young children to cots they can’t get out of in separate rooms is awful. Keeping your child close makes sense in any number of ways. It feels good because it’s natural and instinctive.

I’m on team sleep! Wherever and whoever as long as everyone sleeps.

I brought all our mattresses to be identical so it didn’t matter if there was a bed shuffle - 3 kids so quite often we ended up where there was space!

Just don’t talk about it and show your DH the spare room.

I know my mum has definitely said my children should be in cots but I said no, they are only little once she knows what I mean.
Even my gran
But I don't feel shamed because I am very happy with my choice.
Fuck them op. You're the mummy. I too love cuddling my 3yr old when he eventually comes to my bed around 1-3am!
My other son is 1 and I feed him all through the night. It's just nice. Children want to be with their mummys

If it works for you, your realtionship then do it.

Personally my lads slept like starfish and moved around too much accompanied by the kicking, so I was very much a only when sick in my bed.

I also wanted my room for me and partner, we had millions of box sets to get through 😜

My almost 7 and almost 5 year old still come into my bed most nights and if DP is away for work (every other week) we all sleep together. It very rarely comes up in conversation but I honestly couldn't give a toss what people think.

When they were babies I remember people saying I was making a rod for my own back but I'm quite happy with my little rods.

Mine come in with me when DH is away as they like the space. I've recently had to say they need to take it in turns and not come together as I'm sandwiched between them and get too hot. They're almost 16 and 13. 😁 We bought a big bed, so they know there's always space for cuddles.

Bed sharing is the only way I’ve survived.
my 16 month old doesn’t sleep alone we both get a solid 5 hours a night if we bed share. If not I’m up hourly.
I work 8-6 I need to sleep

My 3yo is in my bed every night and I get comments from DM and DMil about making a rod for my own back but my response is, it's my rod and my back. She's only little and she needs the closeness at the moment.

Majority of my friends have their kids in with them too. It's more common than people think. All our kids are happy, confident and sociable so it doesn't seem to be doing them any harm.

I find that generally it's the people without kids who try and shame you, most mums will just say, enjoy the cuddles while you can, they will soon be a teenager and won't want to come anywhere near you! My ds (7) goes through stages, there is just me and him and he is currently sneaking in with me (king size bed) around 1am, I used to try and put him back in his bed but it just upsets him and it's not harming anyone.

I love it. It feels right on a very primitive level that I cant explain. We all get the best nights sleep this way too. Who cares what people think!

sorry you get shamed for that. realistically whatever works for you might not work for someone else and vice versa and that's completely fine. do what works for you. I co sleep with my son who's 2 but also we only have 1 room anyway barely any space for another bed so yeah but regardless he's so attached so even if he had his own he would probably still come sleep with me and that's okay. Honestly just do you.

I find one of 3 responses work

1. thanks for your input, we do what works for us and gets us the most sleep
2. yes they sleep in the cot 8-8, it’s great (lies but shuts them up)
3. fuck off it’s none of your business where we sleep in our house

Do what’s right for you and your children. We love co sleeping, it gets us a good amount of sleep and is good for their development. They are infants for such a short time!

My daughter is nearly 5 and we still co-sleep. It’s very much a cultural thing and is the norm in some countries. I think whatever works personally. I remember a poster on here saying she couldn’t understand why parents expected a child to sleep alone when they sleep together! I don’t give a crap what anyone else thinks quite honestly but I’ve learnt not to talk about it unless I know I’m talking to someone with similar attitudes. Otherwise you just get a whole load of unsolicited advice as you’ve discovered 🙄.

If it's any consolation, OP, I co-slept with my mum until I left for uni....
To make matters worse, if my mum was away for the night because of work, then I would move to my grandma's bed...

I think MIL is hoping for another grandchild ...

I mostly co-slept with my 14DD. Really she went to bed in her cot and then came in for the rest of the night when she woke. Then when she was in her own bed she came in the bed whenever she wanted. Quite often found her in my armpit where she'd ended up in the night! Can't remember the last time she came in it's been years.

It really wasn't recommended then and I kept it quiet. I do think it's part of the reason we have a really close relationship. Despite being 14 she is always seeking cuddles when needed. If got something stressful the next day one of us can pop in her room and give her a hug and she's straight off to sleep.

DS16 didn't co-sleep as he was difficult to settle and because he was PFB we were too anxious to co-sleep! He's really not very cuddly and we don't have such a close relationship and I wonder what would have happened if we'd gone down the same route as DS.

Meh. DD(3) has gone through phases on and off of sleeping in our bed, us sleeping in her room etc.

Im currently heavily pregnant and bed hogging so DH has been kicked out to share with DD.

To be honest I think the term ‘co sleeping’ is a bit cringey, it’s just sleeping in the same bed. I think sometimes it’s the bizarre terminology that puts people’s backs up.

I think most people have the child in their bed for part of the night and it’s easy for others to criticise when they aren’t loosing sleep
I end up moving between beds a few times a night depending on who needs me. It’s worth putting a small double if you have room in dcs rooms.

I let mine sleep with me. DD5sleeps with me every night and DS8 and DD7 take it in turns to sleep in my bed too. I don't care what people think and their father and I are divorced so no 'D'H to give me grief over it. I love it - it makes us all feel close and reinforces the love.

I’ve always felt this attitude from people when we’ve gone through phases of co sleeping then someone said to me that it’s only a problem if I feel it is and I realised a lot of the people I know who have the best sleep are those who co sleep. Do what you feel is best for you and your DC.

Tell them to shut the fuck up its getting boring hearing them go on about it

God yes. My FIL was the same. We had some quite unpleasant comments about it. Until there was a big family gathering for a birthday or wedding or something, and a couple of FIL's close friends and relatives happened to have babies the same age as ours. It transpired that they were also co-sleeping with their babies too, and these are people that FIL deeply respects. After that we didn't get any more stupid comments as I guess he realised it's quite normal.

My 5yo old still sleeps in my bed and my newborn in a next to me crib. Once she's abit bigger I'm sure she will be in with us too. I think co sleeping is so natural and the more sleep the better. It's an animal instinct to have our babies close to us