Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Would you let MIL bring new boyfriend when babysitting?

90 replies

bonkersconkers101 · 06/02/2023 19:40

I'll keep this short. My MIL has offered to babysit our four month old next week while we celebrate our wedding anniversary over dinner for a couple of hours. The baby will be asleep the entire time.

She's asked if she can bring her new boyfriend. She met him LAST WEEK ... I know nothing about him except his first name. I've not met him but caught a glimpse of him. He looks nice enough but I don't know him at all.

I don't think I feel comfortable having a strange man in my house with my newborn. I'm sure he's lovely but for all I know he could be casing the joint for stuff to steal or worse.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Kindlethefourth · 06/02/2023 20:17

saraclara · 06/02/2023 19:55

It's ridiculous to think that he'd abuse the baby, for goodness' sake. It's grandmother is there.

But even so I'd say, sorry, I don't know him so I'm not comfortable with him coming to my house when I'm not there.

How naive

35965a · 06/02/2023 20:18

The fact she thinks it’s OK is alarming and would mean I’d never ever trust her.

TomatoSandwiches · 06/02/2023 20:19

I can't believe she would even think it's OK, I wouldn't trust her judgment, do you think if you said no she would have him round anyway?

I'd find someone else tbh.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families General parenting
ItsRainingCatsAndDogsAgain · 06/02/2023 20:19

It's ridiculous to think that he'd abuse the baby, for goodness' sake. It's grandmother is there.

Unfortunately abuse can and does happen in these circumstances. That is factual, not just my opinion. Examples would include:

  • MIL nips to the loo, or to make a cup of tea, answer the door or phone, leaving the baby unsupervised or actually with the new man 'just for a minute'
  • Baby is upstairs in the cot and the new man nips to the loo
  • Abuse happens when MIL is in the room but is done that subtly that she does not notice.

And just because it does not happen on the first, second or third time of babysitting, does not mean it won't happen on the fourth.

meloonhead · 06/02/2023 20:20

The reason people are uncomfortable is because it's actually no different to introducing someone to your own child. Sure you're """there""" but why would you actually do that? If a man is a predator, it means he can gradually gain access to that child IMO

So yeah, no. Not ok for a mother. Not ok for a grandmother.

Floralnomad · 06/02/2023 20:20

Absolutely not , but I’d take the baby with me anyway .

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 06/02/2023 20:23

Hard no

BritishDesiGirl · 06/02/2023 20:25

No, absolutely not.

Mamoun · 06/02/2023 20:32

No.
Why would she want to anyway?

TheEarlofButties · 06/02/2023 20:36

Definitely not

54isanopendoor · 06/02/2023 20:36

Perime · 06/02/2023 19:46

I'd be worried she thought it was okay to do in the first place.

This.
He's a total stranger (to her too, after a week).
Would you leave a strange man in your house - let alone with your BABY??
NO.

GoldDuster · 06/02/2023 20:39

Nope. And I would be having grave misgivings about Grandmas decision making skills.

cadburyluver · 06/02/2023 20:40

F* no

smileladiesplease · 06/02/2023 20:41

No but ask them both to dinner or out to dinner to get to know him.

Is mil nervous alone in your house I wonder?

toomuchlaundry · 06/02/2023 20:44

How old is MIL, she sounds like a teenager

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 06/02/2023 20:46

No fucking way. She met him last week? Is she mental?

GreenLeavesRustling · 06/02/2023 20:47

Hard no

Blagdoon · 06/02/2023 20:49

My MIL has been with her boyfriend for 3 years and I still wouldn’t leave him alone with my child. I don’t know him and I don’t trust him, I know nothing about his past history or past convictions, and frankly it isn’t safe.

OnMyWayToSenility · 06/02/2023 20:51

No absolutely no

ANiceSliceOfCake · 06/02/2023 20:53

Not a chance and I’d find a new babysitter or if that’s not an option I’d just not go.
nothing is more precious than your child.

if you had to ask on here then you also know. Follow your gut.

U1sce · 06/02/2023 20:54

No way. Why would anyone want to meet someone elses children/grandchildren after 1 week together. Thats weird in my opinion

Katjolo · 06/02/2023 20:56

No way. Could you bring baby with you if they are likely to be asleep?

DestinysGrandchild · 06/02/2023 20:57

Not a chance.

She's offered to babysit for a few hours.
Why does she want him there?
Why would he want to be there?

He's probably fine but there's no reason for him to babysit your baby.

ihatewinter2 · 06/02/2023 20:57

She sounds like my MIL. Except my MIL wouldn't ask you and would do it behind your back!!!

GhostsJulianforPrimeMinister · 06/02/2023 20:58

Not for all the dinners out.