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Original poster

Would you be annoyed by this . Son made to sit and face wall

131 replies

Douse · 01/02/2023 16:16

According to my 9 year old backed up with a similar story from the 6 year old who has senco issues was being mischievous in todays assembly by fiddling with his water bottle . He (according to the kids ) was spoken to a few times and then was taken to the front of the hall by the deputy headteacher made to sit next to her and face the wall.

Its the facing the wall bit that doesn't sit well with me ? Thoughts please

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Dottymug · 01/02/2023 20:33

Because if it was the DH what else could she do but move him to the front of the hall? At which point he would be facing the wall, which is surely less humiliating than facing the audience.

bakewellbride · 01/02/2023 20:37

What's the world come to?

Whatthediddlyfeck · 01/02/2023 20:47

Busybutbored · 01/02/2023 19:09

Probably means parents who overreact to a non-issue. Home school if you don't like how teachers discipline. Why should all the other kids have to be affected?

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Thank you, that’s precisely what I meant.

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My2pence2day · 01/02/2023 20:55

Douse · 01/02/2023 20:00

I do wonder if he wasn't taken out of the hall which normally he would be if he was to disrupt , because they had very little teachers in today due to the strike there was just 15 tas and the deputy head teacher. I will be finding out the schools version tomorrow though

Ah the irony. No wonder teachers are striking when all they get is criticism 😑

Thesearmsofmine · 01/02/2023 21:32

Sherrystrull · 01/02/2023 19:22

What do you suggest a teacher does instead when they are leading an assembly containing lots of children?

How can they stop being 'lazy' and simultaneously lead a assembly of a hundred plus children whilst putting effort into disciplining a child who is repeatedly not doing as they are expected to do or told?

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There are so many options including removing the water bottle, allowing a child with SEN to have a fidget toy instead, making the assembly interactive so children aren’t required to sit deadly still the whole way through. Of course those options won’t be good enough for people on here for one reason or another.
imagine the reaction if someone posted on aibu about their boss demanding they stood up and faced the wall for the rest of a meeting at work because they were messing with their cup of coffee. It’s a deliberate way to humiliate someone, child or adult.

Sherrystrull · 01/02/2023 21:36

Who says the assembly wasn't interactive? Who says the teacher didn't take the water bottle?

Thesearmsofmine · 01/02/2023 21:42

Sherrystrull · 01/02/2023 21:36

Who says the assembly wasn't interactive? Who says the teacher didn't take the water bottle?

If it was removed then how was he able to continue fiddling with it and needing to be spoken to about it several times? As I said any suggestions will never be accepted by some posters but yeah I’m glad my kids don’t have to put up with this rubbish. Amazingly they have grown into children who are perfectly able to sit and behave when needed without being humiliated by an adult.

Sherrystrull · 01/02/2023 21:50

A child could be warned a few times and then have the bottle removed at the same time they are moved. We don't know, we weren't there.

It's not that your suggestions aren't accepted, it's that posters suggesting the DH was lazy or incapable for not having a lots of alternative options is wrong.

I personally wouldn't want water bottles in my assemblies but I also don't see how a child being disciplined for not following rules is them being humiliated.

bluelid · 01/02/2023 21:59

Facing in the direction of the wall - you said he was moved to front - is different to being sat with his face against the wall.

If the hall is full for assembly, it is likely the front row of children are fairly near to the front wall anyway... this was always the case where I worked. There was only a narrow space for the teacher to stand and deliver the assembly...a result of growing pupil intakes/ schools being extended, but halls often being the same size they were when the school was built 60+ years ago!

My point is, he may have been told to face the wall in the same way that the rest of the children at the front were.... instead of twisting around.

hellobethyname · 01/02/2023 22:06

Op id speak to them directly and ask what happened.

If your son has sen and operates at a much younger chronological age I'd be asking a few questions.

Can they accommodate him or not ?

And actually no I wouldn't be particularly happy with the way they dealt with this . It's shows quite a clear lack of understanding of Sen and his issues . He will probably be a lot less bothered by it than you are that said - but if this was a consequence of his sen rather than "bad" behaviour I wouldn't be happy with how this was dealt with .

I think I'd speak with SENCO . Get the facts .

StClare101 · 01/02/2023 22:12

Douse · 01/02/2023 20:00

I do wonder if he wasn't taken out of the hall which normally he would be if he was to disrupt , because they had very little teachers in today due to the strike there was just 15 tas and the deputy head teacher. I will be finding out the schools version tomorrow though

Why? Why would you bother the school with so low level stuff? Your child was disciplined after several warnings. Focus your attention on improving his behaviour. Honestly….

Tempone · 01/02/2023 22:18

Some people on This site are so fucking ableist sometimes.

cansu · 01/02/2023 22:21

Sitting next to the teacher facing away from any distraction. How is this dreadful? Is it any worse than a time out sitting on the carpet or being sent to your room??

Veryverycalmnow · 01/02/2023 22:24

People commenting things like, "get him to behave!" have you read the OPs updates about his SEN? He could have been quietly taken out of assembly and had a chat. He might have been self- soothing. I think a hall full of children trying not to fiddle with their water bottles sounds like a bad idea. Why not just allow them to grab a sip after assembly? It's not a non- issue when this stuff happens to your child.

Twillow · 01/02/2023 23:21

Douse · 01/02/2023 20:00

I do wonder if he wasn't taken out of the hall which normally he would be if he was to disrupt , because they had very little teachers in today due to the strike there was just 15 tas and the deputy head teacher. I will be finding out the schools version tomorrow though

So although you are fully aware they had staffing issues today, you're still going in to investigate this very minor incident? I feel for the school. They could have closed you know, I expect you'd complain about that too though.

Dottymug · 02/02/2023 23:00

Have to laugh at people saying the water bottles must be a nuisance. Yes, yes they are -they rattle across tables, crash to the floor on a regular basis, spill all over reading books, workbooks, carpets. They are a damn pest. And they are there because parents demanded them. The school will be afraid not to let the children take their bottles to assembly in case parents complain their child became dehydrated in the hour between break and lunchtime. Also, this was not a normal day. THERE WERE NO TEACHERS IN THE SCHOOL, being lazy or otherwise in their discipline methods. There was one, probably extremely harassed person in charge in that assembly hall and she did the only thing she could in the circumstances. She brought the child who was making a racket to the front of the hall. That's it. She didn't humiliate him, shout at him, punish him in any way.

Dhdhdhdbdb · 02/02/2023 23:52

Totally unacceptable, go and speak to them and ask if it’s true. Does he have a 1-1? They should have took the bottle away firstly then if he’s still being distracting take him out of assembly to do something else and not made a big deal out of it. You cannot punish SEN children like that they could get in trouble for that , totally humiliating. Shouldn’t do this to any child. Sadly facing the wall does still happen I’ve seen it myself , the teachers were really old school in there ways.

Dhdhdhdbdb · 02/02/2023 23:53

@Twillow

Leave her alone it’s not a minor issue. This child has SEN you cannot punish them are you crazy.

Twillow · 03/02/2023 20:06

Dhdhdhdbdb · 02/02/2023 23:53

@Twillow

Leave her alone it’s not a minor issue. This child has SEN you cannot punish them are you crazy.

Don't be ridiculous. Of course you can punish an SEN child!
Are you saying their behaviour should go completely unchecked because they have an SEN? Do you believe an SEN child should be allowed to do whatever they want, because they have an SEN? Do you not think they have any self-control, and can never learn from correction?

Because that would be crazy!

Twillow · 03/02/2023 20:14

Veryverycalmnow · 01/02/2023 22:24

People commenting things like, "get him to behave!" have you read the OPs updates about his SEN? He could have been quietly taken out of assembly and had a chat. He might have been self- soothing. I think a hall full of children trying not to fiddle with their water bottles sounds like a bad idea. Why not just allow them to grab a sip after assembly? It's not a non- issue when this stuff happens to your child.

I'm seriously alarmed at the number of people on here that seem to believe it is inappropriate to impose any discipline whatsoever on a child with SEN!
No wonder schools are having the problems they are if this is the way parents respond (or rather, don't respond).
I don't mean to be offensive but you don't allow a dog to do whatever it wants, do you? You can train a dog. So why make these excuses for an actual human being? Sanctions should of course be appropriate (distraction and positive reinforcement are always the better option - as with a dog) and take the child's needs and comprehension into account. But all this shock horror that a child distracting others in assembly was moved and had to face away from other children is ridiculous, particularly taking into account the school had opened with reduced staffing on a strike day.
Why has the OP not come back to tell us what the school said?

Sherrystrull · 03/02/2023 20:29

I agree @Twillow

Dhdhdhdbdb · 05/02/2023 11:15

I’m not saying you can’t use discipline with SEN but there are ways to go about it , you cannot use punishment and humiliation by making them face a bloody wall.

Johnnysgirl · 05/02/2023 11:31

Dhdhdhdbdb · 05/02/2023 11:15

I’m not saying you can’t use discipline with SEN but there are ways to go about it , you cannot use punishment and humiliation by making them face a bloody wall.

Maybe there comes a time where you have to just stop the behaviour, though?
Rather than making it a teachable moment, if they're not actually learning anything from it.

Ninnynicky54 · 05/09/2023 21:30

Just reading this thread and would really appreciate honest opinion. I already know the answer btw. is putting a 15mnth old baby in a highchair and making them face the wall when refusing to eat
Also putting food into baby's mouth keeping head back until eventually eating the food. I witnessed this whilst out eating in a carvery

MidnightOnceMore · 05/09/2023 21:35

Ninnynicky54 · 05/09/2023 21:30

Just reading this thread and would really appreciate honest opinion. I already know the answer btw. is putting a 15mnth old baby in a highchair and making them face the wall when refusing to eat
Also putting food into baby's mouth keeping head back until eventually eating the food. I witnessed this whilst out eating in a carvery

This is a zombie thread you might want to start a new one.

However that is awful, clearly. Pretty much reportable.