Is it ever wrong to breastfeed your baby?

[whattodo22222]

As the title says really. I have breastfed our 8 month old daughter against her father's wishes (he would've preferred formula) because I was convinced it was best for her. We've now split and this is a contributing factor (obviously a lot more has gone on but he is blaming this heavily). Was I wrong to BF her?

No you weren’t wrong! If it’s what you wanted and worked for baby ofc it’s not wrong!

what’s wrong is your abusive partner being like this over it, sounds like you’re better off without them!

Of course you wasn't right. Ignore him. It's your baby, you absolutely have the right to breastfeed her. Sounds like he just wants the control, glad you're rid of him!

Omg, no, you were absolutely RIGHT to BF your child. That was, is, and always will be your choice to make as their mother. Do what's right for you & your child (breast, formula or combi), not what's best for others!!

Well done for persevering without his support, more power to you!

No body else gets a say in how you use your breasts, even the father of your baby.

You were right and continue to be right in breastfeeding your baby. I am sorry your ex is so shitty.

Of course not, how could it be wrong?

What reasons did he give to want her to have formula (just interested what his argument could have been)?

Nope, never.

Thanks. I really needed to hear this. I just feel so guilty. I feel like either way I've failed my daughter...by either not breastfeeding or losing her father. This is just my opinion by the way, I don't think anyone else has failed if they didn't BF, I know how hard it is being a mum and women don't get enough support generally speaking. It's just something that was personally important to me to be able to do for her.

Only if you are on medication that is not compatible with breastfeeding.
How does he think this influenced your splitting up, he didn't get enough attention? You didn't obey his wishes like a good wife?

Nope. Never wrong. Good for you for sticking to your guns and giving your child a brilliant start!

A brilliant start for both breastfeeding and getting rid of this guy who put his daughter and her mother’s needs second to his own!

He thinks it's the reason he hasn't bonded with her. He wanted me to pump as a compromise but anyone who has breast fed knows that they're attached to your breast almost 247 in the early days and pumping isn't recommended for the first 6 weeks whilst your supply regulates. By the time we got past that point he'd lost interest and said he didn't want to help in other ways because I wouldn't listen to him re. feeding. He would complain that all I did was "sit around breastfeeding all day"

If he was trying to control you that much that's awful. It's his awful behavior that was wrong. You are doing the best for your baby. I'm so angry for you x

Omg your update is worse. What a selfish, narcissistic abusive man 😢

With a bit of distance from the situation you’ll see how awful he is, you have done nothing wrong.

YANBU! If he hasn’t bonded with her it’s because he’s taking whatever grievances he has with you out by using her as a weapon. I breastfed for 8 months as no point did DH say I was ‘taking anything away from him’ MIL was a different matter

It sounds like you were in a controlling and abusive relationship, his demands are in no way normal or the actions of a supportive partner.

Let’s be perfectly clear here OP, you did not loose her father because you breastfed! He is gone because he is an asshole, he is 100% wrong and you did what is best for your baby, and as an added bonus, you are not stuck with that man anymore. Don’t ever feel guilty for putting your DD first OP. Sorry you are having a hard time 💐

If a man leaves because you breastfeed, there are bigger issues there and he might be using it as an excuse. You did the best thing for your baby and yourself. Good on you. Sounds like you're better off without him if he's that fragile.

No decent man would begrudge his baby the best nutritional start in life.

In the early months, any decent man knows that his role is to support his partner, look after her and make her comfortable. He could have bonded with the baby over bath times or walks in the pram. I think it's kind of frightening how selfish and manipulative his behavior has been. Do you have any support in RL? ❤️

Oh god he sounds like such a useless dick.

His bond with his child is his to make. You breastfeeding has nothing to do with it.

You made the right choice for you and your baby.

You and your daughter and better off without his toxic masculinity around.

To echo what everyone else has said, you did nothing wrong! I've got friends who have EBF & even done extended Bfing & none of those children have bad relationships with their fathers because of it. Fathers can bond equally well with their children, however they are fed.
I combi-fed both mine & yes it meant my DH could do some feeds but that was more about giving me a break than bond building.
Honestly, your partner has shown his true colours that he is selfish & controlling. The best you can do for your child & yourself is to put as much distance between him & you.

If it hadn't been the breastfeeding, he'd have been awful about something else. He's an arsehole. Not breastfeeding wouldn't have stopped him being an arsehole in other ways.

I breastfed all 3 of my kids and my husband was/is a wonderful hands on dad with a great relationship with all the kids.

Men like this so often see breasts as something they own. I bet he didn't like your attention shifting from him to baby. I bet he didn't like your body not just being about his pleasure.

Such a dick