Why has my husband to be (getting married in July) suddenly said we need to split bills 50/50?
For the last 8 years, no matter what we have earned (for a few years we earned very similar until now), all our money has gone into one pot in our joint account and bills have come from there. We have 2 children together and a mortgage and never had an issue with it.
Since I've said I don't feel what I do for our family is appreciated (never feel like I'm doing enough), he has made the decision to do everything 50/50 including money.
He now earns £60k and is earning more and more each year and I earn £35k and my progression is capped at £40k. Is it fair now 8 years into this to change it to split bills 50/50 rather than wages still going into one pot and taking from there?
He says it's the only way he will start to feel that I appreciate what he does for our bills etc. and that he doesn't feel that I appreciate or realise the money he puts into our family.
Our current split of chores:
- tidying/cleaning/hoovering - both do this but he does do more than me of this
- getting up (still) with 20 month old 2-3 times a night - only me (his body just doesn't wake up to it)
- getting up at 6-6:30am with the kids - usually just me but he does about once every 1-2 weeks on a weekend to give me a lie in.
- washing clothes/putting all clothes away - all me
- getting kids ready to leave of a morning - me and about half of that time he is helping out with me
- driving kids to school/nursery - only him
- dishes - both of us
- tea - usually just me
We both work full time and time to get much done at home is a struggle anyway, especially with a 6 year old and 20 month old.
I just feel very numb and hurt with the sudden decision of splitting all bills 50/50 and stopping putting our earnings into one.
I would greatly appreciate your opinions as I really don't know what to think about it.