Don't even know where to start and I've tried to talk to my own mum&boyfriend but they just don't get it.
I love my son but I just wish I didn't have to look after him I hate doing nappies , I suck at winding him , he twines all the time when he's with me , I struggle at doing the getting up with him through the night like I know and want to be so grateful to have him but I feel like he doesn't even like me, like the baby knows I'm shit.
What makes it worse is my other half is back at work next week so I'll have nobody to take over when it gets to much or just nobody to help /be there , I knew it would be hard but I really didn't think it would be like this . My parents / his help and they go on about how good he is , how he always sleeps but honestly he doesn't for me he's up every 2hours that's if he actually sleeps usually just lies down making noises spitting his dummy in and out ,then its time to get up again for next bottle 😴 when it gets to overwhelming our parents they do offer to have him but I really don't think it helps as it's another day of me not getting to grips with it all . It just takes him away it doesn't actually help me . I just feel moody , tired and just no patience at all . I don't have any friends , I just hate me as a person . I thought by now I'd get the hang of stuff but I haven't - I just feel useless .I actually think bf and my son would be better off without me as I think the baby senses I'm sad and I feel like I'm draining life out of bf which isn't fair like my mood is rubbing off on everyone I just don't know what I can do . I actually hate feeling like I'm one big whinge
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Baby four week old and I really don't think motherhood is for me .
Lollyathome111 · 25/01/2023 13:45
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 25/01/2023 13:52
First step is to go a little easier on yourself here. For all he is yours, your baby is still pretty much a stranger. Whilst many women seem to be 100% bonded and in love from birth or before, many many women are not. It's totally fine to take time to find your feet with each other.
On top of that, your body is adjusting from the pregnancy and birth, your mind is adjusting to new responsibilities, and you've basically been handed (whilst recovering) a temperamental expensive and complicated machine that didn't come with any instructions.
Similarly, your baby will know very little about what he wants or needs. Go back to basics - lots of feeds, lots of cuddles, and being 100% gentle on yourself. If you and baby spend all day when your dh is back at work just hanging out and cuddling with whatever you like on TV, and nobody makes it out of their pjs, that's fine.
If, over the next few weeks, you still find yourself feeling sad, why not have a chat with the GP? Pregnancy and labour can dump a whole vat of new hormones onto use that can be incredibly overwhelming, and chatting these over with the GP can help. They may even think it worth you taking some meds to help lift you out of the sadness. That's for a few more weeks down the line.
For now, I'd just soften how you think about yourself as a mother, spend lots of time closely with the baby and remind yourself that you are both still getting to know each other.
Skinnermarink · 25/01/2023 13:53
Having a little baby isn’t ‘really shit’!! It’s hard and exhausting and at times you can feel like you’ll never do it ‘right’ but I hate it when people say oh it’s just shit.
OP I think you might need to reach out for some mental health support. It doesn’t mean you’re rubbish at all or doing anything wrong. And other people taking the baby (you are lucky to have that so utilise it) it IS helping you if you can use it to sleep, as if you’re not so exhausted you’ll be in a better state mentally.
Lollyathome111 · 28/04/2023 23:19
Can I just say , I totally forgot I wrote this and really can't believe I ever did . He's 4 month old now and I couldn't imagine life without him , I love him so much . Wow , l I really forgot about this. I wish I could go back and tell myself while I was feeling like this that it was gonna be okay 🩷
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