Dummies yay or nay - pros and cons

[Lanzy]

Dummies yay or nay?

My little one is nearly a month old, we haven’t used dummy until last night at 4am when she wouldn’t settle even after feed, change, rocking. We have avoided but just thinking what are the pros and cons of them? And do you just use when needed? The one thing I worried is she is often sick when on back at times and with dummy in would be worried it would be choking hazzard

Had seen some find it difficult to get their little ones off💜🥰

@Babyclb Nope, no martyring here. Just a mother who understood and had realistic expectations when having a baby and how best to respond to them.

I’m not jealous and I’m not calling anyone a bad mother. I also don’t mind that my daughter needs me in the night so frequently.

They’re only little once and I don’t think you can get any more joy than being there for and being the comfort for your child. I didn’t have children to shut them up or try and stop them behaving exactly as they’re meant to.

I have to agree on one thing. My son may use my boobies as a dummy but I love to be the one comforting him 🥰

@ClubhouseGift Saying that using a dummy is so you don’t have to comfort your child is saying you think they are bad mothers. Of course parents who give their baby a dummy still comfort their child.

It’s nothing to do with ‘realistic expectations’.

You are one of the most condescending posters I’ve ever come across.

And yet you think breastfeeding when a toddler can speak is “weird”.

Its totally different and I don't think it's weird. I find breastfeeding past 2 weird. People really need to learn to read my comments better.

@ClubhouseGift okay you clearly lack some basic comprehension skills, so I’m not going to bother arguing with you. Let’s hope you don’t end up in a situation where the only option to calm your baby is a dummy, as the poor thing will no doubt be left in distress. Or maybe it’ll finally click?

Blimey I've read such crap from this poster even reporting them as they are clearly using alarm and distress - I've gone for long walk, fed baby, had lunch, washed up, played and she's now on her next nap - yet she's still on Mumsnet typing away - so if it's ok for her to comment on bad parenting and making others feel shyte making it's ok for me to say she's been on MN all morning and ignoring her children

Prob best to not engage with her as she clearly has issues

Same - it's a shame MN is ruined by posts like hers

It’s basically a “shut me up so mummy doesn’t have to comfort me” device.

Wow some people with don't think before they type or are just really nasty.

😂 'sorry kid, loved playing mother earth when you was a baby but I'm done with biological norms now, ew' 😂

Pretty much 🤣🤣

My god you still don’t get it?? Honestly I really do think you have some sort of issue, so yes as pp says I think best not to engage.

Comments like this make women feel like utter shit. Parenting is hard - I for one doubt every day that the decisions I make are right or that I'm doing a good enough job.

There is no wrong or right answer. It's like starting a new job where there is no training , youre shamed for whatever you do by someone and oh, someone's life is at stake.

Fine to think these things but did you really need to say it on an internet forum where people reading could well already be doubting themselves for the choices they are making.

OP asked for pros and cons. Not for nastiness and what's right.

I really hope you never have to feel how that comment may have made some feel.

My dd went straight to NICU from birth and I was sent to the ward to recover from a traumatic birth and emcs. NICU asked if they could give her a dummy to help soothe her, I said of course you can.

The vile comments about giving baby's a dummy because mother's can't be arsed are disgusting and untrue.

My dd was a sensitive baby, probably linked to her traumatic birth and dummies helped her relax and sleep better.

I took them away when she was 14 months, had one night of tears and that was it 🤷‍♀️

“Comments like this make women feel like utter shit.”

Don’t feel shit @Laurappo - that poster’s inner spite, lack of empathy and small minded snobbishness will affect her parenting and how she shapes her child’s life far more detrimentally than mothers who use dummies!

All of mine and grandchildren loved their dummies, can talk normally and have good teeth. No big traumas about giving them up.
I wasn’t allowed one in the 50’s as my mother said they were common - I sucked my thumb in bed til I was at least 16 and my front teeth stick out a bit
im a big dummy fan!