Dummies yay or nay - pros and cons

[Lanzy]

Dummies yay or nay?

My little one is nearly a month old, we haven’t used dummy until last night at 4am when she wouldn’t settle even after feed, change, rocking. We have avoided but just thinking what are the pros and cons of them? And do you just use when needed? The one thing I worried is she is often sick when on back at times and with dummy in would be worried it would be choking hazzard

Had seen some find it difficult to get their little ones off💜🥰

My motto was like American Express "never leave home without one" OR SEVERAL! 😂

Lol that's me

I used a dummy as it soothed my baby and I read on lullaby trust it lowers SIDS risk which was a huge fear of mine. My DS stopped taking the dummy at 6/7 months. He just took it out and played with it so I ditched it and never had a problem, he wasn’t hugely reliant on the dummy so If it came out in the night he wouldn’t bother about it ! If I had another I would use a dummy again

Some babies grow out of thumb sucking. My sister sucked her thumb as a baby and doesn't now

Not used myself but I would get rid before 6 months.

And would only use for sleep.

You know what, I hated them. I'd seen them used as a tool to shut kids up, seen plenty of kids who had then age 5+. I didn't even consider one for my firstborn. And then we had our second child. When she was 4 months I was seriously sleep-deprived like most parents and utterly miserable with it. Some nights I'd be awake for 4 hours straight just trying to get her transferred from my boob to her cot. I was so tired and done with it all one night I remember wanting to hurt myself, which wasn't a particularly rational thought for me. I then remembered I'd got a dummy free through a baby pack or something and I realised I needed to swallow my pride and see if it helped. And it was a lifesaver. DD2 is now 18m old. From that first time we have only ever let her have one when she's sleeping. We will be getting rid of it by the time she is 2, as per dentist and speech/language therapist advice where I work.

I've realised that what I had such a strong reaction to was dummies being used all the time, as a device to silence kids and being used for long enough that it has a detrimental effect on teeth and speech. The world isn't dichotomous, and not all dummy use is evil! I think you have to make the decision for yourself as to whether you want to consider using one or not. And either way is fine. With our first child we never reached a situation where we felt it would be beneficial to try. Definitely not the case with our second born. And that's ok. X

Cunt of the day award goes to you!

My DS was premature so we were recommended a dummy to help him learn the sucking reflex. He had one until about 6 or 7 months old until I decided to get rid of it as he kept losing it in the night. One slightly rough night later it was fine and we never looked back.

They are fantastic.
Mainly people don't like them because they are snobs.
They don't harm oral development.

Your DC sounds like they have reflux if they are sick on their back.

You need to keep them upright for as long as physically possible after a feed. Probably about an hour IME.

I had two refluxy babies and dummies were a lifesaver.

My parents were very judgy about dummies and used to remind me that we as kids never had one. They seemed to forget that my DB sucked his thumb until he was 9. Rest assured my 7YO and 9YO have not had a dummy since they were toddlers. Both of them talk just fine never shut up and no issues with teeth.

I'm a fan and we use one

We just did the dummy fairy for eldest

The people saying mums use them to shut baby up just have easier babies imo

X

My first screamed and had colic - I remember being in hospital and saying to partner please go by dummies as we literally could only calm her with a finger in her mouth - not very hygienic! Second baby wasn’t interested in the dummy at all - we bought some never used!

If it’s needed then why not - I never had an opinion before and would never judge anyone.

Incorrect. I had a prem NICU baby with reflux who was sick after nearly every feed until she was 7/8 months and woke every 2 hours every night.

Still didn’t resort to the easy option and refuse to give her my comfort.

@ClubhouseGift it's not incorrect at all - that's my opinion.

If people can be rude enough to say it's so ' mummy doesn't have to comfort me ' I can have my opinion to say I don't agree with that at all. I comfort my daughter all the time - I use it so offer comfort when she has been a very unsettled baby and we are at our wits end
Doesn't mean I don't also offer comfort which how your post reads

Op - people will be either with or against just do what you want to do

Sick of people judging others and calling out incorrect when everyone is entitled to their own

X

This need to be more positively like this post rather than people shooting others down x

Agree !

My youngest oral development and speech is also fine x

@Lara151 totally agree - nasty isn't it
It just makes some people feel better being bitchy I think x

I wasn't anti dummies, but I didn't think I'd use one.

DD had other ideas, she was exclusively formula fed (medical reasons) and so couldn't suck for comfort like a breastfed baby would, and a dummy provided that comforting suck.

That and the reduced risk of SIDS meant we felt good about the decision.

She had it from 5 days to 18 months old.

Mainly for sleep (only for sleep from 12 months).

She objected to us getting rid of it, but hey ho, the time had come.

Her teeth and speech are fine.

We used one for our child from birth, no idea of all the details for and against but it worked so we just did it

Never thought about it really

Ooh a hot topic! For me, the major pro was that the dummy helped DC to get to sleep and meant that they could settle themselves back down if they woke up in the night. Major con, having to take it off her when she was 3 years. On balance, a couple of days of stress was well worth the three years of good sleep! Didn't experience any problems with feeding (she was breastfed), speech, or teeth. Perhaps because the dummies stayed in her cot and she wasn't allowed them if she was awake? Who knows.

Good ol mumsnet doesn't disappoint with the judge messages eh?! Blimey!

Do what works for you OP. I too understood they supposedly reduced the risk of SIDS.

DS's just perpetually fell out his mouth. That was frustrating, until he could put it back in.

DS (now 6) had a dummy from about a week. We stopped it at 2.5. He had his first dental checkup and the dentist (without knowing he used one) said he could tell by the gap in his teeth.

We stopped it the same day. DS was old enough to understand the dummies were going for all the new babies to have as he was too old. We had one unsettled night. It was much easier than we expected! His teeth are fine now. He'd never had speech problems.

DS had his dummy most of the time. It was a huge source of comfort to him. Especially when poorly or teething. For reference we bed shared until he was about 2. We also did the whole baby wearing thing (he just didn't like being put down) until at least 18 months 🙈. He's now an incredibly sociable, active, chatty child... so I wouldn't say the dummy, or our parenting choices impacted him negatively.

100% yes! Eldest had it as was an extremely unsettled baby who clearly didn’t have a mother to care or comfort him as suggested by a poster above with her head up her own bottom. No issues

I have just come out of 3 years of extensive orthodontics for my non dummy thumb sucker who had completely disfigured her palate through sticking her thumb and who still had it in her mouth half way through year 3. Far easier to get rid of a dummy than a thumb

and to balance it out, non dummy non thumb has great teeth and didn’t need either.

The only thing I'd caution is make sure (if you go down the dummy route)... the type you choose is freely and readily available.

We were on holiday and went down to one dummy, the others had been 'lost' in only the way that dummies can 🤣 So I bought some more. Unbeknown to us 8 month old DS had become a dummy connoisseur and would only take the type he was used to. We were abroad, I hunted high and low for the type he was used to and couldn't find them anywhere. Nightmare! Fortunately we didn't lose the one remaining dummy, but we learnt a lesson there.

If it helps you and your baby get more sleep then why wouldn’t you?!

They can help with reflex and they may reduce the risk of SIDS. I wouldn’t worry about anything like speech or teeth because that’s easily dealt with by using it only for sleep, especially after 12 months. Nor would I be concerned about having to pop it back in to settle over night- it’s a hell of a lot quicker than rocking and by 6-7 months they can do it themselves if you chuck enough in the cot. So the only real downside is that you eventually have to take it away but dummy fairy/giving them to santa/new babies at aged 2-3 works for most.

@strawberrysummer19 It is incorrect because I didn’t have an easy baby and yet I still managed not to resort to fake comfort.

There is such a strong reaction because nobody wants to acknowledge that they’re denying their baby their own comfort when they shove a dummy in their mouth.