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Original poster

Does my ex have a secret child?

20 replies

helloitsgee · 07/01/2023 19:15

I am currently in the process of divorcing my husband. We separated amicably but the last few months everything has flipped on its head. We have two children, our son is 9 and our daughter is 4.

He has acted terribly throughout official divorce proceedings which I guess is normal? Although hurtful.

However, I came across something the other day that has left me suspicious he has a secret child. Whilst he can do what he wants now, if this child really exists then it would have been conceived whilst we were still together.

I can't say why I think he has another child, I don't want to make myself obvious considering he stalks my online activity and Im concerned he would come across this thread, but trust me when I say I have some strange proof but nothing confirmed.

I would never involve my two children and ask them anything, but i know my kids tell me everything. So if he does have another kid, he is hiding it from our son and daughter too.

He currently pays a pittance through CMS, someone mentioned I could find out from CMS if he is paying maintenance on another child. Is this true? Surely it breaks GDPR laws?

Going out of my mind... can't prove anything without solid confirmation

OP posts:
sunflowerandivy · 07/01/2023 19:41

Just ask him and tell him what you know. We don't know, obviously. We can't even really give you advice due to the terribly vague post about proof but not proof. Also, you're divorcing so makes no difference now whether child was conceived during your relationship. The only route is to ask him directly

limitededitionbarbie · 07/01/2023 19:44

I believe you can ask the CMS if their are any other children that are in receipt of CMS from him.

When you get your annual statement from them it will tell you on there. Or you can just call and ask them.

Original poster
helloitsgee · 07/01/2023 19:53

He is a compulsive liar and it affects my children which is why I need to know. Unfortunatley I cannot get truth out of him

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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4 year olds 9 year olds Families Family law
Pompom2367 · 07/01/2023 19:55

Unfortunately cms won't tell you but from the calculations it might show if he is already paying cms

sunflowerandivy · 07/01/2023 19:56

What have you got to lose by asking him?

Original poster
helloitsgee · 07/01/2023 19:58

He is allergic to the truth so it's pointless unfortunately!

OP posts:
Longcovidshitshow · 07/01/2023 19:59

I get this must be eating you up …I’d be the same!

Original poster
helloitsgee · 07/01/2023 20:01

Longcovidshitshow · 07/01/2023 19:59

I get this must be eating you up …I’d be the same!

Yep it's driving me nuts!

OP posts:
Notyetacatlady · 07/01/2023 20:05

Yes he definitely has a secret child. The vague info you have given on an anonymous forum is all we need to say yes he 100% has one

idiotmagnet · 07/01/2023 20:09

limitededitionbarbie · 07/01/2023 19:44

I believe you can ask the CMS if their are any other children that are in receipt of CMS from him.

When you get your annual statement from them it will tell you on there. Or you can just call and ask them.

They won't tell you. Although one person I spoke to did let slip something that more or less confirmed that there was another child, but then immediately clammed up.

uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 07/01/2023 20:27

If you know how much he earns then you'll be able to tell from the CMS calculations whether he's paying for another child.

I am positive that my exes other child was somehow vaguely mentioned in my CMS paperwork as in "Mr xxx pays a total of £200 and you will receive £100 due to him having other children" (obviously worded different but with that meaning

limitededitionbarbie · 07/01/2023 21:17

The CMS wrote to me and told me the amounts were changing because there was another child now consideredand then again when he had another one.

SpinningFloppa · 07/01/2023 21:20

Actually cms CAN tell you! They wrote to me saying my ex was paying for another child, turned out to be an error though! But very weird so not true that they “can’t tell you”

SpinningFloppa · 07/01/2023 21:20

limitededitionbarbie · 07/01/2023 21:17

The CMS wrote to me and told me the amounts were changing because there was another child now consideredand then again when he had another one.

That’s what happened with me but apparently it was an error 😕

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 07/01/2023 21:28

If you know how much he earns and use the CMS calculator I’m sure you’d be able to work it out.

Riverlee · 07/01/2023 21:37

Can you contact the birth/death etc registers and ask for a copy of the birth certificate (if you know the child’s name).

Original poster
helloitsgee · 08/01/2023 08:34

uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 07/01/2023 20:27

If you know how much he earns then you'll be able to tell from the CMS calculations whether he's paying for another child.

I am positive that my exes other child was somehow vaguely mentioned in my CMS paperwork as in "Mr xxx pays a total of £200 and you will receive £100 due to him having other children" (obviously worded different but with that meaning

he fakes his whole earnings (self employed) and therefore cms thinks he earns 7k a year, not sure his payments could be any lower than they are. if i dont laugh ill cry

OP posts:
Original poster
helloitsgee · 08/01/2023 08:35

Notyetacatlady · 07/01/2023 20:05

Yes he definitely has a secret child. The vague info you have given on an anonymous forum is all we need to say yes he 100% has one

If you read the whole post I ask if there is a way for my to fully confirm. Very useful input, have a lovely weekend

OP posts:
Martialisthebestpup · 08/01/2023 08:38

Ask his mum?

Ihatethenewlook · 08/01/2023 08:39

Notyetacatlady · 07/01/2023 20:05

Yes he definitely has a secret child. The vague info you have given on an anonymous forum is all we need to say yes he 100% has one

Oh nob off. She was only asking for advice and she’s already got some.
Op it depends on what info you have. Is it someone he’s potentially lived with? There’s various ways of tracking someone that could lead to more info. There’s always the private investigator option if you can afford it.

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