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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Anyone read 'How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk'?

42 replies

VanillaPumpkin · 02/02/2008 13:19

I have just started this and think it is great so far. It is making sense to me and I can see my faults written down in black and white. It also seems more realistic for me than some of the other behaviour plans and ideas i.e. I think I can follow the ideas and they will suit our family.... So did it help you? Could you stick to the plans? Will it make a difference or am I dreaming too much???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GrapefruitMoon · 02/02/2008 13:29

i think Cod is a big fan of this book and iirc, there was a thread a few months ago for people who were reading it, comparing notes, etc - should be in the archives?

Original poster

VanillaPumpkin · 02/02/2008 13:39

Oooh thanks. I didn't even bother to look...

OP posts:

dizietsma · 02/02/2008 14:28

Yes, I love it. DD is only 2.7 though, so I'm not terribly experienced with it though.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Bellavita · 02/02/2008 14:30

I picked up this book (along with others yesterday) in WH Smiths and was very tempted to buy it. Think I will go back on Monday and make a purchase.

CaptainCod · 03/02/2008 09:21

Original poster

VanillaPumpkin · 03/02/2008 14:10

Can you stick to it though Cod?
I am only on chapter 2 and it has already made a difference to us today....
Dd1 (nearly 5) is a bit bemused but responding well to the fantasy thing.
I have to get DH to read it though or I feel he will be undoing my inroads he is already concerned about the lack of consequences and I keep having to say I haven't got to that bit yet. We have a naughty step that always worked well but I don't like it now she is getting older.....

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perpetualworrier · 03/02/2008 15:01

VP - that's exactly the problem I have. I start a new "method" all is well until the weekend then DH overules all my new rules. That sounds worse than it is - he would back me all the time, but often he doesn't know what he's supposed to be backing. He often says it's easier to be a work, at least he knows how to do that job

I am also looking for an alternative to the naughty step. I have a feeling the the next gerneration of parents will see all this timeout (banishment? withdrawal of love?)etc as far more emotionally damaging than smacking. Trouble is I don't know what to do instead and certainly don't want to smack.

Original poster

VanillaPumpkin · 03/02/2008 15:30

Yes, DH is not much of a reader at the best of times and especially not if it doesn't involve sport . I think I will have to create simple sheets for him to read . He might cope with the cartoony bits in the book though......

OP posts:

leoleo · 03/02/2008 15:33

i have this book. waiting to be read like many. my ds is 2.9 do you think it would be suitable?

quickdrawmcgraw · 03/02/2008 15:37

I've just finished it and thoguht it was great.

The only thing I didn't like was the perfect results that the parents seemed to get first time. 'ie I just told ds to draw his anger and the following day he said 'gee, mom. I've learned the error of my ways. I love you''

I like all the ideas and approaches in it though and they've been working really well in our house. Dh hasn't read it and it's really easy for me to compare his method with the books method. It's amazing how you can get different results with the same children depending on how you talk to them.

leoleo · 03/02/2008 15:39

how old are your children quickdraw?

quickdrawmcgraw · 03/02/2008 15:41

they are 5.5 and 7.5
A lot of the points do seem to be for older children. I'm not sure it would have been too useful to me before they were 4.

Oblomov · 03/02/2008 15:47

It is a fab book.

leoleo · 03/02/2008 15:52

Thanks - my ds has selective hearing

McDreamy · 03/02/2008 16:15

I thought I had this book but I don't think that I have now. Does she describe an incident with her children in her car where she shouts some something horrible to another driver when he nicks her parking space only to have her child say it back to her or something like that?

My copy (of what I think is a similar book) is yellow and I'm sure it is written by a man!!! But it has a long title like this one. Half my books are in the UK you see so I can't just go and check

CaptainCod · 03/02/2008 16:30

have oyu seen the originalt hread? 100times very funny on it
i tend to dip in adn out to get refreshers as it is easy to forget
maybe we need a sheet of appaer to stick on our fridge doors.

Original poster

VanillaPumpkin · 03/02/2008 17:44

I have it from the library but I think I am going to have to buy it actually.
I will be doing a bullet point thing for DH so I think so might make a version for me for the fridge too.
I did read that thread Cod . Made me lol.

OP posts:

Original poster

VanillaPumpkin · 03/02/2008 17:46

Sorry, meant to say I think you have a different book McDreamy. This one is a blue cover and written by two American ladies, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I bet the library have it / could get it.
(Any news on the house????)

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McDreamy · 03/02/2008 17:48

Nah nothing yet! Got to learn to be patient

Think it is a different book but it's doing my head in!!! I might pop to the library tomorrow and see if they have a copy.

hunkermunker · 03/02/2008 17:51

VP, if you do a bullet point thingummy, I'd be v interested and grateful if you posted it! It is a good book, but in the heat of the moment, it's easy to forget it all!

Original poster

VanillaPumpkin · 03/02/2008 17:58

I will copy any bullet point thing I manage to do onto here. Might not be for a little bit though....
McDreamy - You are patient. I need to learn to do that. (Would help my parenting too )

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ahundredtimes · 03/02/2008 18:09

Marvellous book.

Very good and useful. Gives you a script to say when things are going downhill.

There was a thread Cod did. She introduced us to lots of new words too on that thread, she was very funny.

Pruners · 03/02/2008 18:18

Message withdrawn

Maidamess · 03/02/2008 18:26

Has anyone got a link to the original thread, purleaze?

awaywiththefaeries · 03/02/2008 18:52

I think it's http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/67/316588?pg=1 this one

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