Baby waking self up with arms , help!

[MCMP13]

Writing this at 4am absolutely exhausted. My 13 week old for the past 3 nights has not slept as he keeps rubbing his face with both hands and waking himself up. The only way he sleeps is if he is on someone on his front. When I put him down in his crib I hold his arms down to settle him but then 20 mins later he’s thrashing about again. Also when I do hold his hands down, he moves his head from side to side constantly. I’m just clueless and desperate at this point. Anyone got any ideas why he could be doing this so I can try to reduce it and help us both sleep? Is he not well? Is he just ‘finding his arms?’ Teething(or is that way too early?) I’m an FTM and never had this before, he’s been a pretty good sleeper until now. He sometimes sleeps with a dummy, sometimes hates it and spits it out - or knocks it out. He’s breastfed and it’s not hunger.

i know swaddling may help and have tried with a blanket however he just escapes it. I’ve looked for swaddles but he currently sleeps in a 2.5 tog sleep bag with sleeves and not sure if or how you could swaddle over this? Also can’t find a swaddle that’s 2.5 tog with sleeves - our bedroom drops to a low temp so he needs this.

thanks in advance x

Edit - just realised it wouldn’t need sleeves if he’s being swaddled 🤦🏻‍♀️ can tell I’m running on no sleep haha.

It's called the Moro reflex (startle reflex) and yes very common and typically grown out of between 3-6 months.

You could try putting baby in a higher tog sleepsuit and a light weight swaddle bag like the Ergo
www.ergopouch.co.uk/cocoon-swaddle-bag-0-2-tog-berries

Love to dream do heavier tog rated arms up swaddles which my son preferred
lovetodream.co.uk/products/swaddle-up-extra-warm-mint.html

You can also get Velcro swaddles.

I swaddle over the sleeping bag. If you practice getting it right he’ll probably get another couple of months of swaddling working. My 5.5 month old is still swaddled even though he’s now an expert escape artist.

Oh god I remember this phase. It's so annoying! They do grow out of it but yes, swaddling is your only option really. Our daughter would never tolerate that though so we had to just ride it through. A lot of babies do the head shaking when they are trying to get to sleep - that is perfectly normal. We just persisted with trying to settle her in her cot and did a mixture of holding her arms down/tucking a blanket around her v tightly (minimal effect). I'm afraid I can't recall how long it went on for - it was all a blur!

The 'head side to side' thing is often a 'trying to fall asleep ' thing more than a 'get off my hands' think (although obviously read whole body language to establish!)

You can get love to dream 'swaddle up' bags in winter weights, they have their arms by their head but are zipped to the neck so they can't get out, my little boy loved his (and they often go on marketplace super cheap!)

Love to dream were a life safer!

I’m also a big fan of Love to Dream. You can get nice cosy 2.5 tog or even 3.5 tog ones. Much safer than a blanket if baby wiggles a lot. We are just transitioning out of them now at 5 months in case DD rolls over soon. You can often get them second hand on Vinted but if you’re desperate I would look for somewhere with next day delivery and get it ASAP.

Thanks so much for replies, im relieved to know it’s normal and just a phase. I’ve just bought the love to dream swaddle (2-3 days delivery) and going to get a cheap, thin swaddle from town today to see if I can put the arm part over his bag to see if that helps. Fingers crossed for some sleep 😩 x