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Colic baby - I think I’m going crazy

97 replies

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 19:39

My DD is 10 weeks old and has had colic and reflux since the day she arrived. This last few days have been really dreadful and I’m not coping. She doesn’t just have spells of crying, she cries constantly, all day from waking to sleep (which, luckily, she does). And the cry is loud, and high pitch and a scream. She goes red in the face, arches her back, is entirely inconsolable. But this is constant: in the car, at home, being held, in a sling.

We’ve been back and forth to the docs and she does it in the docs (she doesn’t stop so obviously is like it in front of the docs) and they just say infacol etc. We’ve got a referral to paediatrics gastro and she’s on the highest dose gaviscon, but could be end of January before we see anyone.

I’ve found it really difficult, but just the constant nature of it now for 10 weeks I feel like I’m having a breakdown. I have constant anxiety, I worry something is seriously wrong and hasn’t been picked up, I even took her to a&e. I can’t go out anywhere as people comment on how loud and upset she is (this happens every time I go out).

I entirely loved her when she arrived but now I don’t feel anything but angry and broken, I realise how truly awful that sounds. I’ve been to baby classes and she just screamed; all the other younger babies were fine/cried and could be consoled. I can’t play with her or read to her, I don’t feel like we have any bond and she seems so unhappy. I’ve tried everything for her, so really my plea now is for ways for me to cope? I’ve developed awful PP OCD but already on medication.

OP posts:
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Nofilter · 28/11/2022 19:50

Hi OP,

I really feel for you this would be hard for anyone and your getting through it which is absolutely amazing.

Your suffering IS temporary. You WILL get through this and things will improve. They are so tiny when they arrive into this big new world...

Always trust your gut. Your doing everything you can and more as her Mum she's really lucky to have you Flowers

Alitlebitsleepy · 28/11/2022 19:51

That sounds truly dreadful for you. It might take some time before you find the solution (or until she grows out of it). I’m sure you’ll get lots of replies with various suggestions from people with similar experience.

I’ll start by suggesting a cranial osteopath. I have heard that this has made a huge difference to some babies. What was the delivery like? Any interventions like forceps/ventouse?

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 19:57

I’ve considered this but DH thinks it’s dangerous. She arrived via an ‘eventful’ C-section, after a terrible, terrible pregnancy. I’ve had no break for almost a year. I don’t feel like I’ve got even another day in me.

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bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 19:58

Nofilter · 28/11/2022 19:50

Hi OP,

I really feel for you this would be hard for anyone and your getting through it which is absolutely amazing.

Your suffering IS temporary. You WILL get through this and things will improve. They are so tiny when they arrive into this big new world...

Always trust your gut. Your doing everything you can and more as her Mum she's really lucky to have you Flowers

Thank you, I keep trying to tell myself this

OP posts:
sebbiesmum · 28/11/2022 20:01

Have you tried probiotics? They helped with my collicky baby

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 28/11/2022 20:01

Is there anyone who can take her to give you a break ? A friend of mine had a baby like this and he didn't get better till he started having some solids Luckily she had a good support to all take turns of helping but nothing would stop the crying till he conked out at about 10pm. It will get better hang in there and try and get some help so you can rest and have a break.

Vienna92 · 28/11/2022 20:03

Hi OP
reading your post remind me of my first 3 months with my second baby. Literally, I was in exact same place - colic, reflux, CONSTANT crying when feeding. Ending up in A&E because I was losing my mind. I would spend hour looking things up online. We have been trying infacol, colic drops, probiotics. Feeding upright, never ending burping at night - you name it, we have tried it.

you will probably struggle to believe it considering how hard it is for you, but I want to say - 100% it will pass. In our case, the day he turned 12 weeks old, suddenly the crying stopped. I couldn’t believe it - took so many photos of him that day, purely because any other day before, he wouldn’t stop crying and we were literally just trying to survive (plus having a 18m toddler at the time)

in terms of reflux - my son has been on Omeprazole since September, lowest dose, and thins are only improving now - Apparently babies are growing out of reflux around 6m once weaning starts, according to my health visitor.

I understand you must be feeling super tired and resentful, but I do promise you it will get better very soon and you will start enjoying journey with your new baby 🌸 if you need a hand hold, feel free to message me and I’m happy to support you

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 20:05

sebbiesmum · 28/11/2022 20:01

Have you tried probiotics? They helped with my collicky baby

I haven’t, is this like a vitamin?

OP posts:
Jadedandlost · 28/11/2022 20:06

Sending much, much sympathy. Mine was exactly like this. Have you tried colief? It didn’t cure it completely but made the weeks manageable.

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 20:06

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 28/11/2022 20:01

Is there anyone who can take her to give you a break ? A friend of mine had a baby like this and he didn't get better till he started having some solids Luckily she had a good support to all take turns of helping but nothing would stop the crying till he conked out at about 10pm. It will get better hang in there and try and get some help so you can rest and have a break.

Not really, people offer and then come to the house and see how she is and then don’t want to. This messes with my head even more as I plan the things I’d like to do and then I’m just left with her again.

OP posts:
Vienna92 · 28/11/2022 20:07

Gaia Probiotics helped us!

MoreThanRubies · 28/11/2022 20:08

This will end. This is not Your Life from here on in. One day you will be able to look back and this will be a memory, and you’ll probably mostly remember the good bits. It’s really tough right now and it sounds like you’re doing a brilliant job.

These helped with me:

Putting DD down in a safe place (E.g. cot) and leaving the room when I was losing it.

Getting outside. The screams are less noisy outside. Don’t worry about the neighbours.

Bouncing on our birthing ball. So much bouncing.

Ranting on mumsnet.

You can do this x

Endlesslaundry123 · 28/11/2022 20:09

I'm so sorry, I sadly know your pain and its awful. Osteopath helped my son with colic quite a bit. We had such huge smiles from him after the first appointment. LOUD white noise. Deep squats and exercise ball and dark cool bedroom. At about 12 weeks he really started to get better. He's now nearly 5 months and life is immeasurably better. You will get through it, as hard as it is to wait. Sending strength.

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 20:10

Vienna92 · 28/11/2022 20:03

Hi OP
reading your post remind me of my first 3 months with my second baby. Literally, I was in exact same place - colic, reflux, CONSTANT crying when feeding. Ending up in A&E because I was losing my mind. I would spend hour looking things up online. We have been trying infacol, colic drops, probiotics. Feeding upright, never ending burping at night - you name it, we have tried it.

you will probably struggle to believe it considering how hard it is for you, but I want to say - 100% it will pass. In our case, the day he turned 12 weeks old, suddenly the crying stopped. I couldn’t believe it - took so many photos of him that day, purely because any other day before, he wouldn’t stop crying and we were literally just trying to survive (plus having a 18m toddler at the time)

in terms of reflux - my son has been on Omeprazole since September, lowest dose, and thins are only improving now - Apparently babies are growing out of reflux around 6m once weaning starts, according to my health visitor.

I understand you must be feeling super tired and resentful, but I do promise you it will get better very soon and you will start enjoying journey with your new baby 🌸 if you need a hand hold, feel free to message me and I’m happy to support you

Thank you so much, I really need to hear this as I think she’s going to just be unhappy forever. I don’t take any photos or anything anymore as I can’t face documenting it.

I actually asked the doc for omeprozole today and they said they can’t give it, hence the referral to hospital. I’m desperate but she said it could be a few months.

OP posts:
romdowa · 28/11/2022 20:10

Sounds like my son who used to scream for 16 hours a day non stop. Turns out he had cmpa. At 7 weeks he started an amino acid based formula and within a month he was a new baby.

Samanabanana · 28/11/2022 20:10

Definitely, definitely see a cranial osteopath. It's not dangerous at all and works absolute wonders, especially if your baby had a traumatic entry into the world. I really feel for you OP. Hang on in there Flowers

Sar90 · 28/11/2022 20:11

Hi op, so sorry you are going through this. Two things that helped us was infacol and Dr Browns Bottles.

addler · 28/11/2022 20:13

Does she have any other signs of CMPA?

Vienna92 · 28/11/2022 20:14

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 20:10

Thank you so much, I really need to hear this as I think she’s going to just be unhappy forever. I don’t take any photos or anything anymore as I can’t face documenting it.

I actually asked the doc for omeprozole today and they said they can’t give it, hence the referral to hospital. I’m desperate but she said it could be a few months.

You’re welcome. Lots of us been there and now it’s just a memory so it’s just a dark and tough phase, and it will all be over soon. Most likely in next couple of weeks!

did the doctor say why can’t they prescribe it? Did they recommend anti-reflux milk or anything else in the meantime before you can be seen?

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 20:16

addler · 28/11/2022 20:13

Does she have any other signs of CMPA?

I don’t think so, no rash/swelling. Can be quite weezy but mainly presents fine, other than the screaming

OP posts:
bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 20:18

Vienna92 · 28/11/2022 20:14

You’re welcome. Lots of us been there and now it’s just a memory so it’s just a dark and tough phase, and it will all be over soon. Most likely in next couple of weeks!

did the doctor say why can’t they prescribe it? Did they recommend anti-reflux milk or anything else in the meantime before you can be seen?

They said it wasn’t available other than in tablet form? So it had to come from hospital.

No other suggestions. We tried C&G comfort milk and she wouldn’t take any of it so was crying even more, we went back to normal formula after 2 days where her milk intake massively reduced.

OP posts:
CrookCrane · 28/11/2022 20:19

Can you afford a few hundred to see a Gastro Paediatrician privately? It’s not fair to make you wait months, but I guess that’s the state of the NHS. With my DC we only waited 2 weeks but that was 8 years ago. Then DC2 we went private. Omeprazole helped DC1 within days it was like magic. Domperidone helped DC2 but less so. DC2 also needed prescription formula due to Cows Milk Protein Intolerance.

WibbleW0bble · 28/11/2022 20:21

So much sympathy to you OP. My DC was very much like this as a newborn. Nothing pleased them - hated the buggy, car seat, sling, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, dummy, being put down, being held, too much stimulation, too little stimulation…we were lucky to get a couple of spells of maybe 20 minutes a day when they weren’t crying/fussing/screaming. It was absolute torture and I really don’t think ‘trauma’ is an overstatement. We dithered for ages, cutting out allergens from my diet (I was breastfeeding) with minimal impact. Just as we were considering omperazole, it got better at roughly 4 months. I’m not going to lie, DC was still a very challenging baby. Although the crying stopped, the fussy behaviour continued until about 6 months. It got gradually better from there (although with some bad phases). DC was an easier than average toddler and is now the easiest going, happiest, brightest and engaging pre schooler going.

Personally, I went on antidepressants and had some talking treatment for a mix of depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts (I’d had no mental health issues prior to DC). It obviously didn’t magically make the situation better, but it helped me to cope no end.

I hope it gets better for you soon x

summergone · 28/11/2022 20:22

Definitely see an osteopath , worked wonders with mine .

CrookCrane · 28/11/2022 20:24

Speak to a pharmacist locally. The GP is wrong Omeprazole is now available over the counter as a suspension or as a “special” as the pharmacy calls it. They order it from a compounding pharmacy who make it up sometimes with a flavour in it to make it more palatable so baby doesn’t spit it all out.