Colic baby - I think I’m going crazy

[bunnymum96]

My DD is 10 weeks old and has had colic and reflux since the day she arrived. This last few days have been really dreadful and I’m not coping. She doesn’t just have spells of crying, she cries constantly, all day from waking to sleep (which, luckily, she does). And the cry is loud, and high pitch and a scream. She goes red in the face, arches her back, is entirely inconsolable. But this is constant: in the car, at home, being held, in a sling.

We’ve been back and forth to the docs and she does it in the docs (she doesn’t stop so obviously is like it in front of the docs) and they just say infacol etc. We’ve got a referral to paediatrics gastro and she’s on the highest dose gaviscon, but could be end of January before we see anyone.

I’ve found it really difficult, but just the constant nature of it now for 10 weeks I feel like I’m having a breakdown. I have constant anxiety, I worry something is seriously wrong and hasn’t been picked up, I even took her to a&e. I can’t go out anywhere as people comment on how loud and upset she is (this happens every time I go out).

I entirely loved her when she arrived but now I don’t feel anything but angry and broken, I realise how truly awful that sounds. I’ve been to baby classes and she just screamed; all the other younger babies were fine/cried and could be consoled. I can’t play with her or read to her, I don’t feel like we have any bond and she seems so unhappy. I’ve tried everything for her, so really my plea now is for ways for me to cope? I’ve developed awful PP OCD but already on medication.

Our little one had colic from 2 weeks, could scream 8 hours at a time, it improved a bit on Infacol and stopped around 2-3 months. In the meantime warm baths helped a bit and pushing her in a pram with head up a bit on schedule from Huckleberry app to get sleeps in, tiger in the tree hold, winding every way possible and soothing music (mostly for my benefit!)
She turned out to have cmpa but we didn't realise til much later.
It's so hard. I hope your little one settles soon. Ours is fine and happy now despite all that screaming back then. You'll get through this somehow.

So sorry you're experiencing this, reading your post takes me right back to my own experiences. It was hellish. There's no other way to describe it, you're doing absolutely amazing and I PROMISE this will pass incredibly soon. For us we actually had a major breakthrough around 10 weeks. Slight relapse around 12 weeks but by 16 week we had a reasonably normal baby, well still super temperamental but walk in the park compared to what they were before. Hang in there!
Are you getting much sleep? If not do whatever you physically can to catch up here and there, as it's amazing how much it can improve your outlook!
Also, and I hope this doesn't trivialise what your baby may be experiencing with reflux etc but we found the issue with our baby was actually more that he was just so chronically overtired!! So making naps a real focal point really helped

www.rosemontpharma.com/omeprazole

Oh and dummy or giving baby tip of little finger to suck to soothe helped to clear the airwaves. Prioritise your sleep whenever you can over everything except essential baby care. If people won't come take the baby, you could try asking if they'll cook or clean for you while you push baby out in the pram, so you can get on with sleeping at every opportunity.

Thank you everyone, I’m trying to keep up replying but my brain is mush after another awful day. Although it seems she should be turning a corner soon according to others’ experiences, I actually think she’s got worse this last 2 weeks, I can’t imagine there will ever be a time in the foreseeable where she is calm and quiet, or naps/eats without significant trouble. How did you go about taking them out? Or did you just stay in to save the trouble?

My DC was diagnosed with CMPI by a specialist feeding health visitor. The GP’s kept saying it couldn’t be that as no rash etc but they were wrong and she was right.
They need to let you trial an allergy milk or Omeprazole it’s not fair of them to leave you or your baby suffering like this.

I didn’t try to do anything like groups until my youngest was in less pain and could feed and sleep without lots of screaming.

I was going to say this too. My friends baby was like this and it ended up being CMPA. He didn't have any of the other typical symptoms.

She cut any cows milk protein from her diet and noticed he was better within days

My DS1 was exactly the same OP. We tried infacol and colief. We like to think they helped a little. He would sleep 40 minutes every four hours but several hours at night as he was exhausted. When he was awake he cried/screamed and nothing anyone did would help. The only thing that soothed him was a bath. He started to improve when my mum 'taught' him to suck his thumb at about 10 weeks old🙈 He would never accept a dummy. DS2 had a dummy much easier to take a dummy away when the time is right....you can't take their thumbs away😂
You're doing an amazing job. Baby's with colic are hard work and take up more time than 'easy' babies. DS2 was an easy baby but I have such a big age gap between my 2 as I thought all babies were like DS1.

It's absolutely awful but it will pass. I was suicidal with DDs colic, but it did pass and I got better. She's a madcap hilarious 12 year old now, total gift to my life.
Hang on in there and get breaks if at all possible

My DD is the same, sleeps fine at night without huge problems! It’s the day time. She’s starting to completely refuse the bottle and spitting out infacol as well

How did you go about taking them out? Or did you just stay in to save the trouble?

Interestingly, after about 4 months, we had a complete u-turn. During the newborn stage leaving the house was impossible, as DC screamed in any form of transport and if the slightest thing was off. From 4 months onwards they suddenly started LOVING stimulation. Fussed less if I was at baby groups, swimming or walking round town compared to being at home. DC adored being forward facing in the sling - meant they were still attached to me but able to absorb everything. Would recommend in a few weeks time.

I can’t imagine there will ever be a time in the foreseeable where she is calm and quiet, or naps/eats without significant trouble

Not going to lie, this never happened in the baby years for us. Radical acceptance helped for me - DC are all born with temperaments and personalities. Some people just aren’t ‘calm and quiet’ by nature I’m afraid. DC loved being weaned and was actually a doddle to feed solids too so there is hope there. I credit solids with a lot of his improvement at 6 months! Naps took a lot longer to come together, night sleep was always okay but naps were pretty problematic until the day they dropped them I’m afraid!

OP you are in the trenches and it can feel like you’ll never get out but it’ll be over before you know it.

Do whatever makes you feel best, if that’s getting out then do that, if staying in is preferable then do that. Don’t worry about the ‘shoulds’. Go private if you can. Try colief. Consider joining a gym with a crèche attached (I seriously considered this but the drive was too long).

My newborn was like this. gripe water was our life saver!

I think that’s my fear, that it will always feel this bad.
Forward facing (when old enough) in the sling is a good call though

Ranitidine (Zantec) was life-changing for us but they don't prescribe it for babies anymore ☹️ We were v lucky and had a super understanding GP who had specialised in paediatrics, and was v happy to prescribe meds when infacol didn't cut the mustard. From 12 weeks onwards I put DS in the seat attachment for the pram (with head support) and tilted it at an angle so he wasn't lying flat, this meant walks were more tolerable... We also took him to baby swimming lessons from 11 weeks which he LOVED! Baby massage also helped. I would agree with PP, that if you can find the money from somewhere, go private ASAP and see a paediatric consultant.

Maybe ask the GP if you can try the hypoallergenic formula- it was transformative for my DC, who also then outgrew his intolerance before he turned 6 months. The health visitor just kept telling me the crying and straining constantly was normal but I got lucky with a brilliant GP who had the attitude of "what harm can it do to try?" and from then on, no excessive crying!

Exactly this. GPs are sometimes reluctant to prescribe the suspension because it’s expensive but if you push for it, you might be able to get it. If not, the tablets can be dissolved in water and you then give the baby a certain amount of that solution (amount as prescribed by GP) with a syringe. Both are doable (I had both prescribed for my baby, then 4 weeks old, a few weeks ago) and if your baby is in this level of pain they should be giving it to you. I would push very hard, and point out that you’ve tried the infant gaviscon and it’s clearly not working so omeprazole is necessary and don’t take no for an answer. Good luck. Reflux is miserable. Omeprazole helped all my reflux-y babies enormously.

My DH or grandparents would take DS out for a walk in his pram. He would rarely settle but it was an hour or so when I didn't have to hear him crying. I hardly ever took DS out alone. My mum spent a lot of time with us. We would go shopping in the 40 minutes when he slept. Then he would open his eyes and scream! When DS started on solids he was fine. The first time he slept longer than 40 minutes during the day we thought there was something wrong with him and kept checking on him. He is now a 6ft 2 whingey teenager instead😅

Sending love
DD was 'colicky' and had reflux. I know exactly how you're feeling - baby who won't nap, everyone else seemingly having it together and doing lovely things with their newborns when it's an achievement for you if you manage to drink a glass of water!

Our symptoms were constipation, silent reflux and constant crying. She would only sleep while nursing/latched.

Omeprazole helped for a while but it wasn't until we went private and got a diagnosis of CMPA at 9 months(!) that things really got any better.
Please don't wait as long as we did, if you can find £100 or so a private pead is so worth it.

In the meantime, baths and swimming really helped us. I think it's something about taking the pressure off of their stomachs that soothes. We spent many many hours sitting in the bath together in the early days

I think that’s my fear, that it will always feel this bad

I feel quite hypocritical as I felt EXACTLY the same throughout the first 6 months. That I’d have this wailing, fussy, none napping newborn forever and I’d ruined my life. But honestly, it won’t always feel this bad. Mostly because DC both grow into their personalities and out of any underlying allergies/reflux etc. DC as a newborn was incredibly sensitive to the tinniest of things. That’s translated into a child who is empathetic and caring beyond their years. DC was constantly alert and seemingly ‘wired’. That’s translated into a child who is hugely interested in their surroundings and what’s going on around them (we had a great conversation tonight about where ‘night time’ comes from). DC was permanently loud, screechy and frustrated at not being able to talk. That’s translated into a child who speaks eloquently and insightfully and can name what’s upsetting them. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I PROMISE your DD won’t be a screaming newborn forever.

It's also worth having a look at babyrefluxlady and rockabye_hub on Instagram. Both have some really good resources.

Reflux is a symptom not a diagnosis but GPs don't always have the knowledge/training to help find the cause x

Oh my goodness!! I am with you!!

My baby is now 4.5months and we were where you are very very early on.

Is he bottle or breastfed?

My bottle fed baby was on infacol and it became a ridiculous amount.

We then upped his teat size and it made a world of difference.

As pps have said, it seems insurmountable but it will pass

Keep going!! X

My first was like this (and my other three, but not as extreme). It was absolutely tortuous. The only time he was ok was when he was in the bath so I just used to put a baby bath in front of the fire and hold him in there for quite a lot of the day. I also used to get a slightly warm hot water bottle (only to slightly higher than body temp) and put it on a pillow with a thin blanket over it and lie him on his tummy on it (watching him like a hawk, obvs). This sometimes calmed him. I also found walking at night, in the dark and cold with him in the sling calmed him a bit.

Fuck me thought it was hard. But you’re going to blink and your baby will be a grumpy teenager and this will be something you probably just block out.

Do you have a partner? You do need to have some time to yourself, just to have a bath or a walk on your own so make sure he does his share of the holding-a-crying-baby.

Mine is 12 now and a very fussy eater with frequent nondescript tummy ache and looking back, I think his little stomach just couldn’t tolerate milk. But he’s a lovely kid and every moment was worth it. Your girl’s learning that when she cries, you come and that your love in unconditional. What better start could she have in life than that?

Hi OP

Could it be that your baby is lactose intolerant? Has that been raised? My daughter was in a lot of pain and once I stopped breastfeeding and moved her to lactose free formula (as recommended by paediatrician) she was much better.

Sending ❤️