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Colic baby - I think I’m going crazy

97 replies

bunnymum96 · 28/11/2022 19:39

My DD is 10 weeks old and has had colic and reflux since the day she arrived. This last few days have been really dreadful and I’m not coping. She doesn’t just have spells of crying, she cries constantly, all day from waking to sleep (which, luckily, she does). And the cry is loud, and high pitch and a scream. She goes red in the face, arches her back, is entirely inconsolable. But this is constant: in the car, at home, being held, in a sling.

We’ve been back and forth to the docs and she does it in the docs (she doesn’t stop so obviously is like it in front of the docs) and they just say infacol etc. We’ve got a referral to paediatrics gastro and she’s on the highest dose gaviscon, but could be end of January before we see anyone.

I’ve found it really difficult, but just the constant nature of it now for 10 weeks I feel like I’m having a breakdown. I have constant anxiety, I worry something is seriously wrong and hasn’t been picked up, I even took her to a&e. I can’t go out anywhere as people comment on how loud and upset she is (this happens every time I go out).

I entirely loved her when she arrived but now I don’t feel anything but angry and broken, I realise how truly awful that sounds. I’ve been to baby classes and she just screamed; all the other younger babies were fine/cried and could be consoled. I can’t play with her or read to her, I don’t feel like we have any bond and she seems so unhappy. I’ve tried everything for her, so really my plea now is for ways for me to cope? I’ve developed awful PP OCD but already on medication.

OP posts:
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AmberM2022 · 29/11/2022 14:38

I absolutely 100% feel your pain - i’m in the exact same boat by little boy is 8 weeks today. I have got PND from him having colic it really is the worst thing in the world and most days i really resent him (i know how awful that sounds!) so can totally relate to what you put in your OP! It’s horrific, you feel trapped in your house with a screaming baby and it’s like torture. I can imagine you feel like you have been robbed of this lovely ‘newborn bubble phase’ as i do!
All i can do is send MASSIVE hugs and say i do know how you feel. I literally turn white noise on LOUD as loud as it can go, turn the tv up really loud to try block some of it out. Also going to a car wash and screaming while your going through it lol (does help to relieve some form of stress honest haha)
Not sure what help you have around you but my mum does have him to sleep over every other week for one night and it’s a god send for one night of peace!
I know everyone says ‘it will pass’ but when your it in it feels never ending and like your in a bloody hole! But i do say to myself out loud in the middle of the night when he’s screaming ‘it will end’ ‘it will pass’ i sound like i’m mental (because i now am) but i am starting to listen to myself.
Lots of love your way!!

AmberM2022 · 29/11/2022 14:41

Just to add i also now have Omeprazole, pro biotic drops and Lactulose for my baba and he’s also on Aptamil pepti 1 ( prescribed milk) from docs and so far the milk has made feeding easier times! Only been on the others for less than a week so can’t comment how good they are but we shall see!’

LadyMarmaladeAtkins · 29/11/2022 17:30

the day he turned 12 weeks old, suddenly the crying stopped.

This happened with mine too, but it went fon rom about 1 month to 4 months, and then one day... gone.

Take it one day, one hour, 10 minutes at a time and get as many people to help (sit with, feed, change, take for a strong around the block) your baby while you get time for yourself. People who won't try to fix the situation, who already understand or who can be briefed and won't be idiotic.

It sounds awful but try to learn to tune the crying out mentally rather than feeling anguished - it's hard because we are programmed to respond, but it can be done. As a silver lining I can now cope with a crying baby on a train or plane like a pro, although it was hell at the time, but it was second baby so I was a bit more relaxed about it all.

With the okay from a healthcare professional, have your tried getting your baby to sleep in their car seat at least during the day when you are up to supervise, or on a mattress at an angle? I had a friend whose baby had severe reflux and all sorts going on, and they recommended this, although this was a long time ago.

There are some mindfulness techniques that might help YOU get through it. Try to get some CBT help as well, not just meds. Referrals to IAPT aren't taking too long in at least some areas.

I may have missed it but are you bottle or breastfeeding?

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salemsongbird · 29/11/2022 17:47

My baby was like this and it turned out to be both cmpa and a significant posterior tongue tie. Tie didn't get snipped until she was about 15 weeks old and it was life changing. Does she dribble or click on the bottle? Baby reflux lady on instagram is very good for reflux/'colic' issues.
I really sympathise and hope things turn around for you soon!

CrookCrane · 29/11/2022 18:00

bunnymum96 · 29/11/2022 11:23

Thank you so much everyone. I’ve been back to the gp this morning and, after a lot of trouble, the GP agreed to give me dissolvable omeprozole. Would not give me syrup or allergy formula and said this can only be done through paediatrician, referral could take upto 2 months with NHS.

I also have a cranial osteopath appointment tomorrow and probiotics arriving from Amazon Thursday.

I’ve decided, if this doesn’t improve anything, I will seek a private paediatric appointment (no holiday for us this year!!!), I’m just so desperate and have so many things I want to explore (oral dysfunction, allergies, intolerances, reflux).

Thank you all for showing me this doesn’t need to be normal or expected. At least my mind will be a little bit more at rest if I know I have, literally, looked for everything.

I’m glad you’ve got the Omeprazole to try, I’d use a calpol syringe to give it as they have a larger hole so less likely to get blocked by the enteric coated balls of medicine that don’t dissolve. I’d also speak to a pharmacist about the rosemont off she shelf suspension, they might be able to contact the surgery for you to get it changed over. The GP maybe isn’t aware there is an off the shelf option it only came out last year I think.

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 29/11/2022 18:06

Huge sympathy to you OP! I’d second CMPA or CMPI. Both of my babies had it - it’s a torture, you feel isolated and helpless. It does get better though, so hang on in there. Although DS is 5 now and still dairy free. You can buy non dairy formula yourself to try - they prescribe it because it’s expensive.
I second Dr Browns, BioGaia, pink noise and holding upright after feeds …and trying to relax because babies pick up on anxiety (unfortunately). Back when my son was little they prescribed us ranitidine.

bunnymum96 · 18/12/2022 19:36

Hi everyone, bit of an update and hopefully someone might reply!
DD is now 13 weeks on Tuesday, and we have tried a few things since the last message:

  1. We’ve seen a cranial osteopath several times, she diagnosed a tongue tie and did lots of work on body tension and tightness
  2. Tongue tie was cut a week ago and we’ve done tongue exercises regularly
  3. She has been having omeprozole every day for 3 weeks, dissolvable tablets and she hates it
  4. We have given babygia probiotic drops every day for about 2+ weeks
  5. Tried different bottles

We haven’t noticed much of a difference, she still has many many unhappy spells, and actually she seems even more unhappy during these (goes red in face, screaming much more, refusing her bottle much more).

We are not sure what to do from here, we’ve spent £500 so far on above things and haven’t got anywhere. Private paediatric gastro next? Go cold turkey on everything (gaviscon, infacol, colief)?

If you tried CMPA milk did you also stop colief and infacol? Or combine things?

How has it only been 3 weeks since I posted?!

OP posts:
Pizzaandsushi · 18/12/2022 19:58

yes stop colief etc if moving to an allergy formula. Colief works by reducing the level of lactose in the formula. Allergy formula is free from lactose and therefore no point giving extra things.

so my baby has cmpa and like you would cry constantly. I can honestly say I thought I would die those first few months and kind of wanted to so I could finally have some peace.
I knew it wasn’t normal for a baby to cry as much as mine did. We tried everything. 5 different bottle brands, different teats, gaviscon, omeprazole, carobel, probiotics, different drops, nothing worked. We also went through him being diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie by 3 different people which the clinic at Alder Hey Children’s hospital said he didn’t have when we went for our appointment.
Got fobbed off by many GPs (don’t know why your GP said they can’t prescribe allergy formula as mine did). Anyway eventually the fourth GP I saw finally said yeah ok could be cmpa and prescribed Nutramigen. We noticed a change within days and he improved over a couple of weeks before showing symptoms again and so we were moved onto an amino acid formula (neocate) once we saw the Infant Feeding Team at the hospital. He’s been on it since and like a different baby. Everyone who did see him then compared to now (9 months) can’t believe it. He is still a high needs baby. Often described as alert and doesn’t give us a second to rest or relax or you know wash or eat 😂 but he is happy. I never thought it would happen but it has so hang on in there.

LeekPeachPlum · 18/12/2022 20:09

Hi OP Sorry you are having such a tough time. Just wanted to add that my DD was exactly like this until diagnosed with CMPA. Are you able to see a different GP - they can provide amino acid formula. Wishing you lots of luck- it will get better!

AmberM2022 · 18/12/2022 20:52

I feel like we have the same baby haha!! glad to see you have tried some things but sorry they didn’t seem to work :( We have done the same my LO is 11 weeks this Tuesday and like you he’s been on gaviscon, omeprozol, seen an osteopath, had his tongue tie cut. So he’s also been on Aptamil pepti 1 (prescribed by docs 4 weeks ago) and on Friday was finally seen by the paediatrician who has now moved him onto a Neocate (same as the poster above) he starts that tomorrow and i’m nervous as heard bad things about the taste and baby’s reflux because it’s so thin!
I have noticed a SLIGHT difference in mine since being on Pepti 1 so the CMPA is defo there so hopefully this one helps more. But i feel mine will always be a fussy, agitated baby!
I would 100000% be at your docs asking to try a dairy free milk without a doubt.
I would also stop everything you are giving. Mine was on colief drops, pro biotics, Omeprozol and also lactose to help him poo all at once - when i took him off them all and just gave him the dairy free milk and the lactose he was better (as in he screamed for about 4 hours a day instead of 9)

VeronicaFranklin · 18/12/2022 21:31

Ok I can completely sympathise as this was my baby, if you see my previous threads this was me a few months back - my DD is now 6 months old and colic free. My GP prescribed Colief from 8 weeks which really helped, so please go back to your GP and ask for this. You can buy it from pharmacies and some supermarkets but it is very expensive for amount you will use.

Colic is awful and misunderstood. My GP kept turning me away until he witnessed my daughter's colic episode and then her turned to me and said 'yes that is colic, I'll prescribe you something'.
I'd tried massages, leg cycling, everything and nothing worked but adding colief to her feeds helped massively.

Colic does go away or ease usually by 12 weeks so you are heading in right direction, you are doing your best so don't feel like you're failing.

ChickinMarango · 18/12/2022 21:36

Without doubt OP definitely sounds like common signs of lactose intolerance/CMPA. A friends baby had nearly no symptoms just a small eczema patch and was miserable. Sorted him out in a few weeks. Babies do take a while to adjust to the milk sometimes as it’s vile but it seems to be life changing.

People don’t necessarily know that reflux is a horrid painful ailment but it is a symptom of something else underlying, rather than an actual illness. I’d definitely push for milk if you can get it.

fifteenohfour · 18/12/2022 21:43

There is no shame in wearing ear plugs. Baby cries can trigger fight or flight in mums and can raise cortisol levels making you stressed and anxious. There are ear plugs out there that stop high pitched noises whilst allowing normal sounds through. If you cut out the high pitched screams from the baby you might be able to push through without getting overwhelmed. Sending love. It must be so hard when you can't even think for the sound of crying.

bunnymum96 · 19/12/2022 21:18

Update:
The GP finally gave me oral suspension omeprozole today, although DD spat most of it out tonight!!
He also prescribed alimentum hydrolysed formula to try. Does anyone have any experience of this?
Thing is, we stopped gaviscon a few days ago and she’s been so bad these last few days. We stopped infacol as well. So now I don’t know what I should be doing, there are about 3 million combinations to try with the formula, omeprozole, gaviscon, gripe water, colief, infacol, probiotics. Stop everything else now?

OP posts:
Cluelessfirstimer · 19/12/2022 21:38

My GP did the same - gave me everything at once so I had no idea what worked/didn't work.
We had tried all the above, except omeprazole. Went onto hypoallergenic formula at about 9 weeks. Formula didn't help and just made baby have horrific poos. Stick with it though because it does massively help some babies so it's worth a shot.

I would stop everything and just try the formula if it was me personally. Too much going on to ever know what will work.

Only thing that worked for us unfortunately was time. Things got better about 4 5 months ish...

Yorkshiremum22 · 20/12/2022 04:00

I’ve not read all of the previous 90 responses so not sure if this has been mentioned before, but somewhere along the line, once you’ve exhausted every option, you have to just focus on the things that will make you feel better. Until the underlying cause with you baby either resolves itself or if resolved through medical intervention, your baby is going to cry so you need to find some mini moments of joy for you.

My colicky baby is most settled in the sling and with music on - so we bang on our favourite tunes and walk up and down the house with him. Sometimes we stick a glass of wine or box of chocolate at the far end to treat ourselves with a sip or a bite for each length.

Im a type A personality - so very goal orientated. Realised that I was walking around 5km after every feed so signed up for one of those virtual challenges. I might be exhausted and sleep deprived, but I’m climbing Everest so that figures! And at least I get a medal at the end of it!

I also watch a lot of documentaries I’ve had saved on Netflix for ages but never got to (while standing up, swaying and with subtitles, of course!).

The other thing I do is make sure that I get a solid hour for me every day. My husband takes him after work and I have a hot bath - put some relaxing spa music on my headphones, light an candle and just lie there in the dark. Just allows me to have a complete reset.

Wine, chocolates and Everest might not be your bag, but the principle still applies. This is survival at this point and the things that keep you going are going to be the tiny little wins - so make sure you out some in for yourself.

teezletangler · 20/12/2022 04:30

OP I would stop everything else and just try the omeprazole and new formula, and see how that goes. You need to be able to identify what is actually working.

MsChatterbox · 20/12/2022 04:54

teezletangler · 20/12/2022 04:30

OP I would stop everything else and just try the omeprazole and new formula, and see how that goes. You need to be able to identify what is actually working.

Agree! So sorry OP. Hang in there. It will be a distant memory at some point.

alittleadvicepls · 20/12/2022 05:23

Agree with formula and omeprazole.
I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!

NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet · 20/12/2022 19:43

@bunnymum96 I haven't read all the replies but I wanted to say, I had/have a similar baby. He's 15 months now - it gets better! I remember one day he refused milk and screamed all day long. I just cried. We had already tried gaviscon, infacol, etc to no avail. Even a hydrolysed formula (aptamil pepti one). I eventually took him to A&E that day and a paediatrician saw him and prescribed omeprazole, his GP also prescribed Neocate which is completely dairy free and that made all the difference. The hydrolysed formula seemed to make him worse but of course it may be good for your little one.

My advice is keep going back. Ask for the non dairy formula (on prescription) if there's no change. It was what stopped it for us. I got fobbed off so many times; was told that he would grow out of it etc. I said I refuse to accept that its normal for a baby to scream constantly - surely that's not right?! Eventually we got sorted! I'd put money on it being a similar issue, especially with the high pitched scream. Give the hydrolysed formula a week, then go back to your GP and ask for a different one if there's no change. Good luck x

bunnymum96 · 26/12/2022 22:14

Hi everyone, another update.
We've stopped the omeprozole now as DD absolutely hated it and was sick after having it, we didn’t feel like it was making a difference.
BUT we have also been having prescription formula (SMA Althera) and the difference is astonishing. Almost all of her symptoms have stopped. However, we are having issues as docs only give one prescription each time and this only lasts us 4 days! And there are no chemists near us that stock it so we have to keep ringing around and sometimes they will order it but then it’s not getting delivered. Any tips for this?!

OP posts:
Tintagel55 · 21/05/2023 06:51

Hi bunnymum96!

Reading your experience, I really felt for you and so glad you got an improvement with the new formula. How did you get on in the end?

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