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Original poster

How often do you and partner get a 'date night' without children

97 replies

NatMoz · 28/11/2022 13:10

I love my baby, she's one in December but in the last year we have had 1 meal out while on holiday where my parents looked after her for a couple of hours, a child free wedding but we came home at 8:30 so my parents could go home and this Saturday we went for a meal after hiring a babysitter for the first time ever.

Talking to some mum friends, they were shocked at how little time we've had just us. They have family taking their (similar aged) babies overnight as well as regular meals out/gigs etc.

Going forward i think we'll go out for a meal once a month using the babysitter (£5 an hour so worth it in my book) so that we can have adult time together but i was curious to know how often you have time apart from your babies/children (not counting nursery during the week when you're working 🤣)?

OP posts:
FizzyFucker · 28/11/2022 13:13

Once every couple of years I think, not often anyway! It's different for everyone depending on the support they have from family etc.

MolliciousIntent · 28/11/2022 13:35

Once every few weeks. It's something I'm more than happy to prioritise.

ChessieDarling · 28/11/2022 13:39

Just me and DH hasn’t happened yet, but we’ve been to four wedding receptions and three evenings out with friends (theatre, dinner parties) since our DC was born last November. We’ve done various bits and pieces separately too, of course.
We didn’t do endless date nights beforehand anyway, DH works a stupid amount!

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PurBal · 28/11/2022 13:40

Under 1? I think we went to the pub once.
To be fair when DS was 10 months I went to a hen do but obviously not with DH. Now 16 months so in 4 months: one daytime meal out (we took annual leave), 2 child free weddings but both were disasters for different reasons, and 1 night away just the two of us.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 28/11/2022 13:41

We have a 4 year old and an 11 month old. DH and I have had 2 nights out together in the past 4 years. My In-laws live too far away, and my parents always offer, but are always busy or make a big deal about how much work it is. I'd love to have more time out just us, but there you go!

movintothecountry · 28/11/2022 13:42

Not very often. Mine are a little older now, but we couldn't afford babysitters when young and I didn't trust anyone when they were babies/toddlers anyway.
No local family so no real adult time together until the last couple of years. We get out maybe 3-4 times a year and I've resigned myself to the fact it will be like this til they are old enough to look after themselves. I have got used to it, but it's not ideal.

Cornelious · 28/11/2022 13:43

Once a week/ once a fortnight. We have one dc who loves to have a sleepover at her cousins once or twice a month (we also reciprocate). When she goes to a party or friends house dh and I always prioritise this time and go for a meal/ cinema/ shopping.

CornishGem1975 · 28/11/2022 13:45

About once a month. It's hugely important to us. Next month we've both taken the day off work while DC are at school/nursery and we're having a full date day.

Tdcp · 28/11/2022 13:47

Once in 8 years :/

ScatteredMama82 · 28/11/2022 13:47

Once a month. We pay for a babysitter and enjoy ourselves. The number of friends we have who complaint that their marriage is suffering because they get no time as a couple baffles me. It's not hard, and you don't need family help either. We have none, but we have sitters that we trust and because we pay them we don't feel like we are asking for a favour from anyone.

Brieeeeeeeee · 28/11/2022 13:53

3-4 times a year. We each get a lot of time to ourselves or to spend with friends, but time together requires a babysitter and we hardly ever have that.

piglet81 · 28/11/2022 13:56

A couple of times a year. Can’t really justify £50 for a babysitter on top of the cost of a night out so it’s a rare thing.

Thesearmsofmine · 28/11/2022 13:57

This varies massively. Our last bit of time without dc was pre covid.

NotToBeShaked · 28/11/2022 14:27

We used to have a night to ourselves once every 4 - 6 weeks. It wasn't usually a date night, but out with friends together.

These days about 3 times a week as the kids are all 18+

Cornishmumofone · 28/11/2022 14:29

4/5 times in the last 6 years.

Marblessolveeverything · 28/11/2022 14:34

We always had a night each pretty much from birth and one together from around 3/4 months old. I have wonderful sisters (childfree) and mother, MIL, SiL who doted on our boys and we were all raised with parents having a night out.

Now, the night out might have been a few hours to cinema/meal/bowling etc up to a more adventurous nights and weekends away as they got older.

I would advise you do you, to me it was crucial we had time "off" to recharge and be the best parents possible and I never worried if I had to attend an appointment (thank you gallbladder!) as I knew my boys were in experienced and hands of those who loved them.

CoalCraft · 28/11/2022 15:03

Never yet and oldest just turned two. We have had "date days", I guess, where mil had her for the day or she was in nursery and we went for lunch out and a movie.

That hasn't happened since DD2 was born and probably won't till she's in nursery at nine months.

We do spend time together in the evenings while the kids are in bed, though.

Digestive28 · 28/11/2022 15:05

not very often….but if I could get a babysitter for £5 an hour I would snap their hands off!

kirinm · 28/11/2022 15:07

None and DD is 4. We don't have anyone to look after her. And we don't feel comfortable getting a babysitter because her sleep is terrible and we know that a babysitter wouldn't be able to calm her down when she wakes up (which is a guarantee rather than an occasional thing).

AliasGrape · 28/11/2022 15:15

Under 1 - never (lockdown possibly played a part in that too!)

She's 2.4 now and I can think of 3 occasions - we went to one family wedding where we left her with the in-laws - not overnight but until about 10pm. Once on holiday with in-laws, we went out for lunch and a drink whilst they looked after her, so maybe 4 hours total. And on DH's birthday this year we went out for a few drinks - literally 2 drinks between 5 and 7.30 so we could be home for bedtime!

We talk all the time about needing to do it more, but I always feel like it's asking a bit much of in-laws as they bang on for ages afterwards about how exhausted they are. We could look at paid babysitters, for some reason I just don't feel ready to leave her with a non-family member.

upfucked · 28/11/2022 15:15

Over 3 years ago.

upfucked · 28/11/2022 15:17

ScatteredMama82 · 28/11/2022 13:47

Once a month. We pay for a babysitter and enjoy ourselves. The number of friends we have who complaint that their marriage is suffering because they get no time as a couple baffles me. It's not hard, and you don't need family help either. We have none, but we have sitters that we trust and because we pay them we don't feel like we are asking for a favour from anyone.

But you need children/babies who are happy with other and able to settle for them and the money to pay for this. No everyone has this.

CMOTDibbler · 28/11/2022 15:28

Overnight, 2 nights in 16 years. Evenings out, 2 a year together ish, paying for a babysitter. We paid for every minute of childcare

Luellie · 28/11/2022 15:30

My son has just turned one and my husband and I haven't had a single night alone together since he was born Sad we'd absolutely love to be able to and we talk about it all the time, but it's not currently possible for us to be able to leave our son with anybody else so it's just not an option.

ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 28/11/2022 15:33

Very, very rarely.
As a baby/toddler DS1 was a deamon for not going to sleep and not staying asleep. It wasn't fair on anyone to inflict that on them.
Then we had a good few years of maybe 3 or 4 evenings out a year.
Post covid, it doesn't happen.
Won't be long til they can be left for a couple of hours in an evening tho.

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