How often do you and partner get a 'date night' without children

[NatMoz]

I love my baby, she's one in December but in the last year we have had 1 meal out while on holiday where my parents looked after her for a couple of hours, a child free wedding but we came home at 8:30 so my parents could go home and this Saturday we went for a meal after hiring a babysitter for the first time ever.

Talking to some mum friends, they were shocked at how little time we've had just us. They have family taking their (similar aged) babies overnight as well as regular meals out/gigs etc.

Going forward i think we'll go out for a meal once a month using the babysitter (£5 an hour so worth it in my book) so that we can have adult time together but i was curious to know how often you have time apart from your babies/children (not counting nursery during the week when you're working 🤣)?

Not often enough. We can't really afford babysitters right now (£13ph round here) and Im not sure I know anyone up for swapping babysitting duties.

Kids 7 and 3
Never
No family to help and I'm unhappy leaving them with randome strangers but I sort of appreciated that when I had kids my priority would be them

Why do people think babysitter = random stranger? There are many, many options. We have a 19 year old who is the daughter of good friends, we have a lady who worked in the nursery where DS went when he was little, we also have another young lady (about 21) who did childcare for our good friends and now does occasional babysitting for us too.

Never. Well we went to a wedding in April 2019 if that counts.

As the child of a women who made similarly martyrish statements throughout my childhood, I can tell you your kids won't thank you for your "dedication" as they get older.

Yes the lady we used i have known for years from running club and has worked with children for 20 years!

Regardless, someone from an agency would be DBS checked and verified. They will be professionals and would know what they're doing!

In 5 years we've been out twice - both were lunches when we both had a day off work and son was at nursery.
I would love an overnight stay somewhere but have absolutely zero chance as no babysitters.

Once every few weeks. We just had a lovely weekend away 🙌

Why do people think babysitter = random stranger? There are many, many options.

This realistically is the only option for most though. If your kids are babies often your friends kids are as well, not to mention location issues. I personally am fine with using strangers though.

When the DC were little, about once in a blue moon, we'd be lucky for once a year. We'd have date nights in the house instead, they weren't as nice as being out but they were lovely all the same. Now the dc are 17 and up, we have them as often as we want, which turns out to be less than we thought, lol

DH and I both WFH several days a week, so we have day dates maybe once or twice a month where we both schedule a lunch break and go out to lunch together. DS is in pre-school so we don't have to worry about a babysitter.

We don't have convenient or reliable family childcare, so we probably get a babysitter in once every few months and beg ex-step-MIL (long story) to babysit once in a blue moon.

Honestly, I'd do it much more often if we had helpful family and babysitting didn't cost a fortune around here. Also, I got extremely lucky and got a child who eats most things and likes going to restaurants, so a lot of the time, he just comes with us.

@ScatteredMama82 I know! It's kind of odd isn't it - my two regular babysitters are my former Doula and a student from the University I work at, they're not random at all, and it's not like we use a different babysitter every time, so DS knows who they are.

I'm not just dragging people in off the street to look after my child....

None since dc3 arrived. He's nearly 5 now. We tend to get a takeaway once every so often when he's asleep.

We don't have anyone we know and trust to babysit. Can not imagine employing someone to do it so we don't.

Never (eldest is almost 6) however we don't have family to leave them with and don't have anyone else/know anyone that we'd hire to babysit. Instead occasionally we would both take a day off using annual leave and have a "date day" instead.

1-3 times a year if any. My mum will usually have the kids if DH and I want to
go out to celebrate our birthdays with a meal
ir our wedding anniversary but sometimes she’s busy so we have none.

we have 3 kids tho so we knew that it
would be a bigger ask to get someone to
watch them ( family or friend not a professional babysitter) so don’t really expect anyone to do it,

Not had one for two years 😳 xx

@Chillyoptimistic my situation is very similar to yours, usually on birthdays were too tired to be bothered going out 😂 xx 3 kids Is tiring

Wow. What a dick thing to say. Do you realise how ridiculous you sound?

Once a week/every 10 days. I have 4 inc 18 month old. We are lucky to have my parents and a brilliant babysitter and I really do appreciate that.

My daughter was one at the weekend, we had a weekend away in September and a couple of meals out

How do you find home schooling?

Never out out really. Son is autistic and can't be with anyone else. We do breakfast sometimes as he is at nursery for 2 hours. We haven't had an evening date in 4 years. Sadly

We've not had one yet, and we're almost 3 years in. It's been really tough though, and we're feeling the strain of it. We just don't have family help, and I don't feel confident enough to leave the children with a babysitter they don't know. Plus it's quite a lot more than £5 an hour here! I would imagine £15 an hour which would significantly add to the costs of a night out. We'll be sending my youngest to nursery in April for a couple of days a week, one of which will overlap with my son's nursery days, so we're going to try and do nice days/lunches out if we're both off work together.

Twice a year, but not at all in the first 9 months adter having DD and not at all for the first 12 months of having DS. We take annual leave twice a year when the kids are in nursery. So no dates both times until they were.