I have a 2 year old. My sisters dd is nearly 3. My sister’s dd has bitten, hit, head butted, thrown toys at my lo. She’s not very good at sharing either. My sister attempts to discipline her, but it’s very inconsistent and often appears to be received from my niece as attention (possibly positive reinforcement). Her husband is less than useless. I’ve tried to offer suggestions on a consistent, more effective way of discipline without wanting to sound like a know it all, I know I don’t. I know my mum thinks discipline methods are not ideal, but we are an anti-conflict family, so it results in my mum being subtle and ignored and me biting off my tongue. Rather interestingly she often preaching her parenting methods to me.
I know my sister loves my lo and feels bad, but I find it infuriating when over the years my sister has made excuses for her daughter’s bad behaviour. (E.g. tired, teething, over excited, an accident the list goes on). It’s my baby who is hurt and her making excuses makes it feel like she is not taking it as seriously as she should and it makes me feel worse.
They will be spending less time together because my niece will be starting nursery in January. I wished I said something sooner like last year, although would this have changed anything? Now I don’t know whether to see what things are like once she starts nursery or whether to say something the next time it happens. My sister is really difficult to communicate with so I know saying something will end in a massive row, but I don’t want my lo to keep on getting hurt and I don’t want my lo to pick up my niece’s bad behaviour (we have been lucky she hasn’t so far). What should I do? Does anyone have any similar experience they can share?