School allowed unauthorised parent to pick up child

[sn21]

I've been having problems with my ex partner for a couple of weeks. But if background there was a lot of dv that went on in our relationship we haven't been together for a year. He sees the children on weekends and I am solely responsible for pick up and drop off. Since breaking up me and the children have moved to an address he doesn't know. The children have also moved school in the new school year.

Today he called me to say he was on his way to the school by taxi as he wanted to pick them up and promised he would. I rushed my way to the school to get there first however they had opened the gates early as I was coming round the playground saw he had already collected youngest.

I don't really know how to approach, as new school we're not aware of the situation. However we're 3 months into school and he's never picked them up nor is he on any emergency contact/authorised person to pick up the children. Where do I stand and what can I do?

The school have cocked up somewhat with your youngest. If he doesn’t have PR and isn’t on the list he shouldn’t have been allowed to collect.

For other child/ren that he does have PR for the school cannot legally stop him collecting without an official order.

You do have to completely fill schools in every time you move unfortunately. Information like that doesn’t always travel well, especially as situations can be fluid. Things can get lost in paperwork or not passed on. People really need to highlight issues so the school can be on top of them.

If they were unaware of the situation then it’s easy to see how it could occur, even if for the youngest it shouldn’t have.

Go into school. This is very poor and goes against safeguarding if he's not got PR or permission to collect.

So sorry for the situation. Explain to the school, especially about the dv, and that he must not be told your address, otherwise the office staff might mess up. You need a note made in the school office. You won’t be the only one with such a note sadly. Our school told me (when I asked why they weren’t move careful about collecting at pickup) that they have a list for each class of which children they need to make certain only the mum collects.

I had a similar thing happen in that my ex's parents gave permission for my daughter to go on a school trip as they were at the school gate and bumped into her teacher. I had sent a permission slip back saying that she wasnt able to to go but she forgot to hand it in! When I found out that they had done this I spoke to the school and were very apologetic and said if I had specific requests relating to permission/ pick ups then to put it into writing, after I did this I didnt have another problem! x

If he had the older child with him when he collected the younger one who recognised him as daddy then realistically the teacher isn't going to flag that, especially if you haven't made it known that he is not to collect them. We are very aware of which children need particular collection arrangements but we're not psychic. You absolutely should have made it clear to the school. It's your responsibility to inform not theirs to guess.

You need to speak to school and say he isn't to collect. They can't stop him without an Order but they can stall him and ring you.

I'd find a school that has a crystal ball so they know things you don't tell them

Aye he's their father you get to pick them kids up every day!
Why can't he pick them up he's their father he has rights too,
Put aside your arguments and ask the children what they want to do after school,
Don't ever keep his kids away from him,
Their his kids too