School allowed unauthorised parent to pick up child

[sn21]

I've been having problems with my ex partner for a couple of weeks. But if background there was a lot of dv that went on in our relationship we haven't been together for a year. He sees the children on weekends and I am solely responsible for pick up and drop off. Since breaking up me and the children have moved to an address he doesn't know. The children have also moved school in the new school year.

Today he called me to say he was on his way to the school by taxi as he wanted to pick them up and promised he would. I rushed my way to the school to get there first however they had opened the gates early as I was coming round the playground saw he had already collected youngest.

I don't really know how to approach, as new school we're not aware of the situation. However we're 3 months into school and he's never picked them up nor is he on any emergency contact/authorised person to pick up the children. Where do I stand and what can I do?

If you didn’t want your children’s dad to collect them I think you should have let them know rather than relying on the message getting through by other means.

Are you children safe with you now?

In the morning call the school and ask to speak to the DSL and tell them your history and what happened. And speak to your social worker. Between them they should be able to advise what the options are.

Unless there is a court order in place to say otherwise as their parent he can pick them up.

If you didn’t want him picking the children up then regardless of the old school being responsible for passing on information it does seem odd you didn’t say anything to the new school.

with a court order he can still collect the children he has PR for. Even if you tell them the history and say you don’t want him to.

school messed up with the child who he doesn’t have PR for here yes.

Old school should have sent this info in a handover but it doesn’t always happen.

I realise you mentioned it to them but you would be surprised how many victims of da are at your school so unless you go into detail and produce court orders etc, school will just note it but not chase you for more info.

sorry you are going through this. Chase up court because he can still collect until you have an order. A social workers recommendation means nothing with orders.

Even if he is their dad, if he's not on the authorised list they def should not release to him.

@Boomboom22 he could put himself on the authorised list maybe he has?

I did tell the old school briefly that we had been involved with social services and due to dv a brief description of what happened when the case was close, but didn't go into the full detail.
Also the school generally around pick up times just have an answering machine so there would've been no guarantee that would've been responded to in enough time

Did you show the new school the dc birth certificates

The school can't do this if a parent has PR - or any parent having an argument could remove the other parent from the list.

I am legally entitled to take my child out of school at any time.

Yes school have seen birth certificates as they requested them with the forms

Did you tell the new school anything?

In that case he won’t need to be on the authorised list as they will have seen he has PR.
I assume they know the dc are full siblings so just didn’t question the PR of one child. I’m not sticking up for them but they are human.

Anyway it must be tough for you with everything you have been through. Get to court asap.

@howshouldibehave sorry yes I meant the new school

The bottom line is, if he's not listed on the birth certificates the school have seen and isn't listed as an approved person, the school cannot release the children in to his care unless he has a password or they contact you to approve it.

If they have done so, it is a serious safeguarding breach and I would write an urgent email to the Head, copying in the Governors.

With the extra info, it really doesnt sound good they let the youngest go.

I highly doubt the school went to check if the father was listed on the birth certificate.

OP Your child likely has screamed daddy from the door and the teacher has let them go. Definitely speak to them tomorrow as that's ridiculous they should have asked for a password or called you to clarify.

Just out of curiosity if 'dad' sees the children on weekends , what is the big deal if he has picked them up from school? Apart from him winding you up because of your new relationship,?

I also gather that this is just a social worker recommendation on visitations and not an actual court order?

I think it is unusual for a parent to be banned from pick up so really does need to be highlighted to the school and then school should make sure teacher and any other relevant staff are aware.

I would be disappointed but more concerned with stopping this happening again instead of should it have happened this time.

Even if he is their dad, if he's not on the authorised list they def should not release to him

and if dad phoned up an removed mum from the authorised list? Same principle.

stepdc mum used to remove dh from the list all the time. Utter pita as it meant he wasn’t told about parents evenings, didn’t get copies of letters, know what they needed for school on his days etc. at one point they said they couldn’t speak to him without his ex being there.

every time he had to get a solicitors letter to get re added. In the end we told the school, and GP etc if dh wasn’t allowed to speak to them without his ex present, then they couldn’t speak to his ex without him present. They backtracked after that.

anyway, in this case, no PR. It would have taken one quick phone call from o/p prior to setting off informing them of that and they wouldn’t release the children.

I'm sorry you can't put this on the school, they shouldn't be in the middle here if your children go to him at weekends then they are trusted is his care and there is no reason they shouldn't be released to him. For the children where he is on the birth certificate he definitely has PR. If you are sending the youngest at the weekend then I would question why he wouldn't have PR. School is legally required to release the children to anyone with PR.

Different schools have different policies. I've worked in some where there is an authorized person list, signed daily to ensure there was no chance of a child going with the wrong person, some where there is a list of authorized people but not ticket off or anything, and some where they only have a list of people not allowed to collect.

People saying "they should not have let him go" - there is no law saying this. It will be against policy in some schools, but not in others.

The school with a list ticket off and signed every day was a nightmare, especially as a cover teacher. It could take 15 minutes to ensure everyone went with the right person.

A child whose parent is legally not allowed contact would have been prevented from taking the child in any one of the systems above. And surely that's what's most important, not preventing power plays from unpleasant men.

People saying "they should not have let him go" - there is no law saying this. It will be against policy in some schools, but not in others

o/p says he has no PR. In that case he cannot legally pick them up without o/p’s permission.

taking someone’s children without their consent when you do not have parental responsibility is kidnap.

At our school in KS1 anyone collecting a child has to know the set password.

DH works away so very rarely (three times so far) has collected DS on his own. Every time they have asked him for the pass word and on first occasion they called me as I forgot to tell him it.

Also we completed a contact form initially and school will not share info with anyone not listed at that point unless I call in to update it or they check with me first as I am first point of contact.

I would speak to safeguarding lead and explain the safeguarding issues there have been and the current procedures in place and get further advice from them.

If school have never met him, and don't even have his details then they messed up. It's not the start of the year when they are still getting to know parents, grandparents, childminders, etc who collect children.

They couldn't stop him from collecting the children for whom he has PR but they should have verified who he was at least! This was a man who turned up who they've never seen before, at a point when usual collection patterns are known to them.

They let a 4 year old leave with a man who was unknown to the school and who doesn't have PR, just because the 4 year old knows him. They have no paperwork that would help confirm who the man was and that he could collect. The 4 year old calling him Daddy is not a good enough reason at this point in the school year. It's a safeguarding breach. Normally, it would just be a quick thing to confirm (look at forms, call Mum, whatever). But an attempt to confirm/check does need to happen.

Speak to the school, explain, the circumstances and ensure records are updated. However, remind them that it's also not okay, without that background, to let any child just leave with an adult the school doesn't know and who is not named on any paperwork.

Yes, but the school is not breaking any law in releasing the child.

Is it any wonder that teachers are exhausted and leaving?

The school leaders knows their policy. They don't need you reminding them what their policy should be, in your opinion. If the teacher has gone against the policy, school will deal with it.

There was no harm and extremely low risk of harm.