Would you leave a nearly 16yo and a 13,yo alone overnight?

[Neolara]

I'm meant to be going away for work overnight in a week's time and my DH unexpectedly also has to now be out of the country for work on the same night.

I have two exceptionally sensible teens. One is 16 next month. The other is 13. They get on very well and won't argue. They are perfectly capable of cooking for themselves and having been scouts for years, are resourceful and resilient and don't really get freaked out when faced by challenges. They both know considerably more first aid than me. I completely trust that they won't do anything silly or invite anyone round. If anything happened, we have 3 families within 5 mins walk who would look after them and probably about 5 other families I could call on for back up who could be with them in 10 mins.

Initially, I'd assumed that I would try to find someone who the youngest could have a sleepover with. However, they are both telling me they would be completely fine staying for one mid-week night by themselves in the house. And now I'm wondering whether it would be ok to leave them by themselves after all. Your thoughts would be appreciated..

I would especially if you have friendly neighbours you could make aware
Would they be going to school the next day?
mid you think they’re sensible kids and no health / medical issues then yes I would for one night

If your 'nearly 16' was 16 and at college not 15 and y11 then I would.
But 15 & 13 and still at school seems a bit young to me.
I wouldn't think you were massively neglectful if you did however.

Yes I'd leave them for one night.

Yes I would. I left my 16 & 10 year old over night for the first last week. They were absolutely fine. Family near by and contact with us by phone / text.

I would. With no alterntive support I've often had to leave my then 16 year old in charge until past midnight in the past

Yes if they were happy to be left and not the type to throw a wild party.

No way would I. Is it even legal? But I am a worrier and would worry about someone having an accident or falling ill and both parents being away overnight.

If they get on well then I'm sure that's fine. Hopefully you have a neighbour they can call on if they have any problems. I wouldn't leave my 13 year old with his 21 year old brother overnight, but only because they hate each other.

Yes I would. Some 16 year olds in care might be living independently.

I wouldn't leave a Y11 in charge of a younger child over night.
But I wouldn't think badly of you if you did.

I have the same dilemma about leaving my 15.5 year old at home overnight now my 18 year old has left home. My 15 year old insists she'll be fine but I'm unsure. If there's two of them I think they'd probably be fine though.

Yes. Sounds fine. It depends on the dc. Like mine, your 2 sound mature and comfortable with it. Other posters dc might not be, but that's not relevant to your situation.

I don't think that because some 16yos are neglected by the state who are meant to be caring for them, is a reason to argue that 2 children should be left alone overnight.

The argument is that the children themselves are mature and confident enough to cope.

I lived independently at 16 and was raising a newborn alone at 17 and coped fine including going to work and school . Obviously being that mature was a bit of a Tragedy in my life . But it goes to to show that a mature 16 yr old can definitely cope for one night with a sibling for company. I’d be a bit iffy about them cooking just because they might be forgetful and leave something on so maybe treat them to a pizza :)

@TeenDivided no but I think 16 is absolutely old enough to manage a night alone. I can’t imagine not thinking this. I might not leave a 13 year old alone, but would with a sensible sibling. Actually I probably would leave my own 13 too.

But that depends on the child. If they were bothered by it I might not.

Yes but I would ask one of the friends who live nearby to pop by in the evening to check all was well

I wouldn’t leave a 15 and 13 yo alone for a night. Too many things which could go wrong.

I wouldn’t.

I definitely couldn’t with my two but I think it is too young anyway.

I left my 16yo DD alone with her 11yo sister for a night. They were absolutely fine. As long as the older one is trustworthy they will be okay. There is no legal age at which children can be left in charge of younger children. It's up to the parents to make that judgement call.

As long as you have lots of support (which you do) they'll be fine

I wouldn't have done it with my 2 because we are quite isolated where we live (no neighbours) and no family around

I'm sure they'll be fine

What's likely to go wrong?

I am with the majority. I would in the scenario you describe.

But if you’re at all unsure and feel that you’d fret instead of focusing on your work event, send them to a relative.

I would think this was fine.

It depends on your personality and also how risk tolerant as opposed to risk adverse you are. I'm the kind of person who even when young nothing bothered me, I dealt with things as I needed to. I still do. Dh is the same and so are both ds's.

Many of ds2's friends mums I find nervous, full of anxiety and actually some actually neurotic. I talk to Dh about some of their views of situations are irrational and he agrees. They admit they are too, but it continues to be so.

When a pp said things could go wrong. What does she realistically think could happen? And why haven't you talked to and prepared your dc for that anyway? Not in relation to this night, but generally. If you are a level headed person you deal with the situation in front of you. You have probably already subconsciously considered the worse case scenario in your risk assessment. If your children are content and calm and don't flap in a crisis then they'll be fine.