Would you leave a nearly 16yo and a 13,yo alone overnight?

[Neolara]

I'm meant to be going away for work overnight in a week's time and my DH unexpectedly also has to now be out of the country for work on the same night.

I have two exceptionally sensible teens. One is 16 next month. The other is 13. They get on very well and won't argue. They are perfectly capable of cooking for themselves and having been scouts for years, are resourceful and resilient and don't really get freaked out when faced by challenges. They both know considerably more first aid than me. I completely trust that they won't do anything silly or invite anyone round. If anything happened, we have 3 families within 5 mins walk who would look after them and probably about 5 other families I could call on for back up who could be with them in 10 mins.

Initially, I'd assumed that I would try to find someone who the youngest could have a sleepover with. However, they are both telling me they would be completely fine staying for one mid-week night by themselves in the house. And now I'm wondering whether it would be ok to leave them by themselves after all. Your thoughts would be appreciated..

No, I wouldn't.

I'd leave them for a day or an evening. But not overnight.

Waking up to blaring smoke alarms and downstairs on fire would be terrifying for an adult. Imagine that at 13.

Very tiny chance of anything going seriously wrong but overnight just seems too far to me.

Nope because I know DS1 would have his girlfriend round and whilst I am not completely naive and they have probably already done things I really wish they hadn't I dont want to make it that easy for them.

No.

I nearly set the house on fire well into my 30s! Was distracted by the kids arguing for a couple of minutes, and came back with the frying pan on fire.

Luckily I am of the generation that had 3 public safety videos shown endlessly at primary school:

1. don't go off with strangers, even if they offer you sweets/tell you to come and play with puppies
2. the green cross code, complete with man dressed up in green
3. how to put out a chip pan fire

It wasn't a chip pan/deep fat fryer, but same principle. Wet a tea towel, wring it out so it is damp, and cover the pan (starting at the side nearest to you so the flames don't get directed into your face 😁

DD cooks regularly and I am completely happy to let her lose in the kitchen while I am there. But if something caught fire she wouldn't necessarily know what to do.

Think about what the headlines would say if something went wrong! I think it's OK to leave a 16 year old, but not 2 under 16s all night.

It’s really no wonder so many young people struggle when they go to uni or start work when they are given no responsibility whilst being a teenager.

I remember babysitting my cousins over night aged 16 whilst their parents did a show trip to London. I left dd overnight aged 15 but she had a friend to stay. I was more worried about stupid things like her falling down the stairs than her setting fire to the house. And my friend lives a few doors down in case of emergency.

I used to babysit until 1am from age 13 it was fairly normal back in the 80's. Not overnight but looking back I was quite immature and probably wouldn't know what to do with a very small child had something gone wrong. Thinking about it I am amazed people left their child with me, I looked about 10 🤣 My dm was actually the babysitter, but if double booked she would offer me instead.

Are 16 year olds old enough to sign a tenancy?

The main thing that goes wrong with teenagers being left overnight is
Friends, acquaintances and acquaintances of acquaintances piling round

This. I would worry that something would happen while I’m gone and then I’d feel guilty forever for leaving them alone.

Mine are same age.
I had this conversation, only hypothetical, with a friend yesterday.
Yes I would.
They get on well, neither needs to look after the other so no-one is 'in charge', both sensible. Neighbours on hand if needed.
You'd be contactable.
The fact it's a school night is a bonus as they'll be up and out in the morning.

I think if (god forbid)the emergency services were called, you may be viewed as legally neglectful leaving 2 under 16s all night

Thanks all.. Really appreciate all your views. Decision has been made. The youngest is going for a sleepover. The eldest is going to stay in the house by himself with very close neighbors as back up. He is exceptionally sensible.

Yes I would

That's the right decision I think.
Once the eldest is 16 then less of an issue the younger one being home with him as well.

No I wouldn't- and I'm a pretty relaxed parent. I've left DS (16) while I went out for the evening and was back around 10pm but no wouldn't be comfortable leaving him overnight.

Yes I would

I wouldn't but not because I don't think they'd be capable or that they're too young but rather because I'd be afraid of the house being broken into whilst they were home alone & what would happen if they disturbed the burglar (we've recently been broken into whilst we were all upstairs asleep, so that's on my mind now!).

This is my line in the sand.
A day and/or evening. OK

Not overnight. The small risk of a fire or burglary is too great. I would not want my children to have to deal with

I'm sure you have house/contents insurance. But if you need to make a claim, would insurers pay out if it emerged that two minors were left alone overnight?

Right decision.

Personally I wouldn’t. Would leave a sensible 16 year old for the night, though.

What does everyone think happens at midnight when they turn 16?!

What I don't get is that fires and burglaries can happen in the day as well - what makes that different?

This article says that 40% of burglaries happen in the day and the most popular time for burglaries is between 6pm and midnight so the midnight-6am slot actually seems statistically safest.

www.theecoexperts.co.uk/home-security/burglary-statistics