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Parenting

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Original poster

When does life go back to 'normal' after a baby?

92 replies

ifihavetomove · 30/10/2022 16:32

I have a 2 week old and after a hospital stay we've been home 9 days. We're having a great time but of course my days totally revolve around her - feeding on demand, learning how to look after a baby, keeping myself fed and the house clean. Husband is off work currently too.

Obviously this is normal, but at the moment I can't imagine running basic errands (like I'm due an eye test) or meeting a friend for lunch. Of course life is never the same after a baby but I'm curious at what point you felt you had some kind of a normal life after having a baby, where you could go out and do things like this?

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TheTeddyBears · 30/10/2022 22:00

You are just in this baby bubble and trying to survive with little sleep and new baby to look after.

With my first it must have been about 3-4 weeks before I began to do anything normal outside the house. I had went for lunch with my husband and baby though a couple of times. I think venturing out urself and driving, getting the pram up etc are different though. Especially if u had a section it's a lot of lifting can be painful. My first was a great baby and slept really well we used to wake her in night to feed her. Slept through when I stoped waking her at 6 wks old. I don't think I'd have been out and about so much if she hadn't been.

My second was horrendous she hardly ever slept at night I was often going on 2hrs broken sleep and then dealing with a baby and a toddler all day. I didn't really start probably venturing out a lot until she was closer to 3 months old. Starting going to baby groups etc and getting used to being out and about with 2 of them. I was still shattered but getting a bit more sleep by then.

homarrrerr · 30/10/2022 22:05

Never :/. I've got a 2 year old and a 5 year old so can't speak for a child older than that really but life just completely changes.

I can't clean, can't keep on top of the house, can't have a peaceful meal or coffee in town if I have them.

I've just sort of had to get used to it but never really have.

youtwoandme · 30/10/2022 22:16

10 years on and still waiting ........

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Mamalife21 · 30/10/2022 22:19

For me it was about 6/7 weeks to do anything out of the house by myself. It was more a confidence thing for me, I was scared of her crying or needing feeding but in reality it was absolutely fine. My baby was feeding every 2-3 hours so I knew I’d have that time to go out. Start small, go to a drive thru and come home, or to a cafe for a takeaway coffee and build it up, that’s what I did and it really worked - hope this helps x

pitterypattery00 · 30/10/2022 22:34

I definitely wasn't 'having a great time' at the two week stage - in fact, the first 6 weeks were horrendous. For me things got a bit easier at 8wks, 3mths, then massively better from 6mths on. But I didn't feel like I had my life back until around 12mths. That coincided with going back to work and the end of lockdown. I think returning to work has been key as to be honest my social life still isn't what it was, or anywhere near, 2.5 years on.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/10/2022 22:36

About 3/4 weeks i started going out with baby to meet friends for coffee or similar

alwaysmovingforwards · 30/10/2022 22:44

When they're about 28 and you give them a decent % of your net worth as a deposit to to sod off and buy their own places 😂

TabithaSally · 30/10/2022 22:51

As soon as we got home from the hospital but I got lucky, my baby was very easy, slept through everything, pretty chilled in general. Nothing changed that much for the first few months.

However, I found from crawling onwards much trickier, much more a shock to the system. He's nearly 2 now and still feel like my freedom is curtailed as days revolve around toddler activities and nap time. When he was a baby, he just came along with me.

PizzaPizza56 · 30/10/2022 22:58

I'm at 4 months now. It got steadily harder from birth with weeks 6 to 8 being the hardest so far. It's got steadily easier since then. I've got out of the house every day since week 1. The crying is easier to deal with outside than at home!

BeeandG · 30/10/2022 23:11

I remember how daunting it is at first to figure it all out. I'd say it got easier around 6 weeks in terms of predicting dd1 needs. Then I felt more confident taking her out. I think it's all the stuff I used to have to take out that was hard, changing bag, pram, blankets, etc. Having lunch out do it before baby can toddle!

As others have said life does change with children in it. Going back to work is good for some normality. But there will be nursery drops and pick ups to schedule etc. And it can be exhausting. But its worth it. Dd1 was 9 last week & now if she thinks I'm going anywhere interesting she just wants to come!!

gandalf456 · 30/10/2022 23:13

DD1, honestly, it took forever but it turned out she had ADHD, which was not diagnosed until she turned 18. DS2 - probably about 6 months when he was weaned and stopped cluster feeding.

Isonthecase · 30/10/2022 23:19

Depends on you, depends on the day, depends on the baby. I've been out for coffee or a meal within a couple of days of getting out of hospital with both my non lockdown ones but couldn't do it every day. My youngest is fairly chilled and I'm more relaxed about letting him cry so reckon we were doing quite well on getting back to normal within a couple of weeks, my first I could do things but I'd need a few days recovery after for months. Even then by 6 months we were properly out and about doing things like holidays with just me and him but I've always been pretty adaptable and adventurous so it wasn't much of a stretch.

ShesThunderstorms · 30/10/2022 23:24

If I'm really honest, I didn't feel my normal self again until I went back to work part time when he was one. I got a little bit of myself back then. He's now 3.5 and I'm not sure I'll ever 100% be the person I was before him. It's not a bad thing. Just different.

hellosunshineagainxxx · 30/10/2022 23:27

I managed to get some freedom when they turned twoish. Got some version of normality occasionally when they were about 10 months but some weeks were still horrendous ao yeah id say when he turned twoish

MissIvy86 · 31/10/2022 11:01

My eldest is 18 and I’m still waiting lol.
Seriously though, the old normal is different to the new normal. You find that you adjust yourself, your routine, your life as it goes, whether it’s one or two children, or more.

Cannaa89 · 31/10/2022 20:14

I'm very surprised by all the responses saying "what's the big deal? I was going out for coffees in the first week." I am very impressed if that's really their experience - sure as hell wasn't mine! The newborn stage was totally disabling for me, some days I didn't even make it out into the garden. And that was with 50/50 help from partner like yourself.

Things got a bit easier at 6 weeks, better at 12, much more enjoyable by 6 months and now, at 13 months, I am totally comfortable going to all sorts of activities with him.

You'll get there! Well done so far. X

sunshinerainstorm · 31/10/2022 21:17

I know it's hard to imagine going about daily tasks and life in this 4th trimester especially when breastfeeding as well as they do literally cluster feed all day!

Alas it does get easier and I could take on the day and daily life, appointments etc by a few weeks old. Once you've got a bit more of a space between feeds that helps.

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