Does anybody manage to parent without ever using screens?

[Anneofwindypoplars]

I think I am going to ban it. I’m fed up of DS bringing the remote to me and then making this horrible noise (URRRR) if I put on the ‘wrong’ programme.

I work three days a week and I’m not sure how I’ll manage getting ready in the morning without the support of the TV.

For the time I’m off we spend a lot of time out of the house anyway but there are pockets when we’re in, and that will increase now the clocks have gone back (I’ve chosen a great time to do this.)

DS isn’t remotely interested in craft and I am also rubbish at it. Any suggestions? The main times I rely on screens are when eating, when getting ready and winding down for bed. I may have to keep it for mealtimes. DS 2 in December.

Those were the 3 times we never used screens 😄. I used them when I needed a rest 😳. Mealtimes have always been screen free and bedtime was bath and books.

As long as there’s balance I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

Why does it have to be all or nothing? Just set your limits on it. It’s up to you obviously, but seems a bit OTT to me. Why is screen time for meal times a must? We eat at a table in the kitchen, there’s no tv in there.

Brought up two children without screens. Listened to the radio with breakfast. In the evening it was bath and books. We even had a reading half hour after lunch in the holidays and their friends knew to bring a book with them or they would be given one. We still have loads of board games and the GC love to play them.

All children are different. He does need a distraction when eating or he doesn’t eat, but if he’s playing with toys he doesn’t eat much because he is playing.

I do want to get out of the habit of relying on the television, so would be interested in hearing how other peoples days look like sans TV. Might end up eating out all the time - could prove expensive!

He does have bath and books before bedtime, it’s the hour or so preceding that. Not sure he’d understand board games at the moment - will be good when he’s older.

Try audio books instead of screens.

He wouldn’t be able to follow a story without accompanying pictures and so on at this age. He wouldn’t just sit quietly and listen to a story - but again is a nice suggestion for when he’s older

This isn't answering your question, which I'm sure some screen free people will be along to do shortly. DD is 2.1 and we are currently working on reducing screentime but no intention to eliminate - it's a lifesaver so I can cook dinner / she can wind down after nursery/ we can all survive her unreasonably early mornings. In the evenings our current tactic is to only put on Cbeebies and she watches whatever is on, thereby eliminating any debate about what to put on. I also find she seems less mesmerized if it's a couple of episodes of different things instead of multiple the same, as you'd get on streaming. For her horrible early mornings when Cbeebies isn't an option we give her a choice of a couple of her favourites on Netflix but she is now at the age where she can tell us what she wants, which is (mostly) helpful.

And yes, as per posts above - the truth is that options for occupying a kid without parental input are way less at this age compared to when they're older. I'm just hoping if we can keep screentime limited enough now, we can introduce stuff like the above later on

I didn't until DS1 was 3 and then not everyday. I still limit it and they are all teens. I found the more they went in any form of screen the less they can entertain themselves. We had regular fortnights with. no screens (apart from phones to message friends occasionally). We also have no screens on holidays. I don't know if it is a direct correlation but they all read, draw and do sport a lot more than their cousins of the same age who have no restrictions.

The only one I'd worry about removing is the screens while eating. That's a really bad habit, the others are fine - TV is fine as a distraction to let you get on with getting ready / wind down for an hour. Just not 5 hours... but I think you know that already

No screens at mealtimes.. ever! And never in the morning before school. You can control screens, at least until he gets his own.
If he won’t eat unless he’s distracted, he doesn’t eat for a bit, it won’t harm him. Mealtimes should be family times anyway, eat with him, talk to him, show him good behaviour and let him copy it.

I babysit a lot of families and the amount of kids just glued to the TV all the time……… I think it’s the worst when they’re eating, personally. Just mindlessly pushing the food in, staring at the tv and it’s impossible to engage with them. They don’t learn to eat until they’ve had enough and then stop, as the TV is taking all their focus.

We didn't put a timetable on TV time for our DD who is 5 now. We just allowed it whenever we felt the need, first thing in the morning while getting ready for work and during times dinner needed to be cooked or housework needed to be done. The only time we never had screens was at dinner time, we all eat at the table together and don't have a TV in the kitchen. I wouldn't stress about it especially as you are out and about alot. I feel DD has less and less interest in screens now as she gets older, she is constantly playing with her toys and doing crafts which she loves. She also loves playing roleplay games with me (which I hate 🙄) but she definitely isn't as interested in TV now that she's more independent.

At that age, screens are unnecessary and while I think banning them is unrealistic, I do my best to limit screen time as much as possible. My DD is 2 and she does watch tv but mainly because her older sibling harasses us for tv and we let her watch with him, for limited periods.

Assuming he's your only child I would suggest going cold turkey on the screens, white lie and say the tv/tablet is broken, then once he's got used to not having it, you can choose when and how to reintroduce it for short periods.

My DD has always loved looking at books (independently, she rarely lets me read her a book from start to finish ). For her second birthday I got her a Yoto player, which she can operate herself (you just take the cards in and out). We have music cards and short stories which include music - I've found it works best if we have the physical book to look at while listening to the audiobook, but it's not essential. If you're interested in the Yoto I can send you a referral code for 10% off.

Depends what you mean by screens- the tv is on for a few hours a day- it’s not a tablet- I think sometimes people mean different things.

DD also loves drawing - we have things she can do with minimal supervision like a magnetic board, aquadoodle, etc, and wipeable chunky crayons so if she does draw on something other than the paper while we're not looking, it's not the end of the world.

If I stand firm on no screens both children will occupy themselves. Sometimes they'll play with Duplo for ages. I also have a rule that they have to tidy up the toys before the tv goes on, and sometimes they'll get distracted and play with them

I don't get the anguish about screens. Just have limits and stick to them. It's not rocket science.

DS10 loves his iPad and the TV. He also loves Cubs and martial arts. He loves reading and spends an hour each evening buried in a book. He is fit and active. It's all about balance.

I'm not screen free but I only put the TV on for about half an hour a day while I'm making dinner, which I'm happy with. I'd never put the TV on in the morning, there's no time anyway. While I'm getting ready they just play around in my room or in the bathroom with me. I get ready quite quickly, if you have a longer routine that could be difficult.

I think the problem is once you start using screens at certain times, it's hard to go back. My dc play with toys while they are at home because there's no other choice. They don't have any phones or tablets so they can't ask for one. If they did, I'm sure they would.

I wouldn't have the TV on during dinner for my own sake, cartoons during my meal is just too much. If dc doesn't eat without TV, they don't eat. That won't last long.

ive never met a screen free parent in real life- must be a mn thing!

We did very little screen time until the age of 3 (maybe a couple of times a month). And now it’s twice a week at the weekend. My DC are really into toys, they can entertain themselves for ages, love reading and drawing, etc.

A complete ban will probably be easier to implement than partly withdrawing it. Your DS will find it easier to understand and will give up more quickly, compared to if his request sometimes gets a result then he will always keep asking!

Take the batteries out of the remote so it’s “broken”, go cold turkey, you’ll have a couple of hellish days but at age 1 it should be over fairly quickly.

We never used screens until they were 3.
Never, ever at mealtimes. You have to work hard to talk and engage them but it sets you up for a lifetime of conversation around the table.
Once we did allow screens it was time limited.
Never in the morning as it just makes it 10 times harder to get them moving ready for nursery or school.
Obviously you have to set the example and keep your own screen time for when they are in bed.

Complete ban until about 2. Then we had baby Einstein or the muppets for an hour at weekends or in the car (car sick).
youngest had no screens at all until 4.

we still only have screen in the car, weekends or holidays.

monday - Friday we have no screens at all / they are at school and the cubs homework books etc
both love board games

Screens at mealtimes are fucking awful. You need your child to be engaging with what they're eating, rather than mindlessly shovelling while distracted. That's a terrible foundation for relationships with food going forward.