Where to turn when I'm alone and at breaking point

[redjoker]

My 5 year old is hateful and angry and sometimes I lose total control over him. I am often alone as my partner works shifts

I have no family closeby

Does anyone have any practical places I can turn for help? I feel helpless and like i need help but I don't even know where to start

is he always like this? What seems to trigger it? Anger and hate are such strong emotions for a 5 year old

It's since he started school. If he doesn't get what he wants he just flips. Says he hates me. Says I hate him (never have I said this and continue to try and meat all anger with calm) screaming. Shouting. Taking things away doenst work. Taking events or treats away has no effect. When I'm alone with him I try my best to ask for calm and give him space. But he is increasingly unable to bring himself down. I don't know who to ask for help.

Please does anyone have any advice. I've called nspcc and they are shut. I've called the Dr. No answer. Please

Ok, take some slow breaths.

what is happening right now?

when did he last eat, did he sleep ok?

would a snack help?

Ultimately social services have an out of hours number but that will trigger a process - is that what you want/need?

It sounds like his school and the gp are the right pathways for help but it will take time, do you need help tonight

Hes eaten. And had a drink. He told me he wanted me to die because I asked 'would you like some dinner?' so I told him it's time for a time out. Took him to his bedroom.. He tried to smash the door in and smash the room up and told me he wants
To hurt me. I had to let him out for his own safety. He's calmer now but only just

The drs have voicemail on. I have no one here to help me

3 weeks ago this would have been alien behaviour
Now I'm I feel like im a prisoner in my own house. I've never had to deal with anything like this I have no idea where to turn

If this has started since he started school, I would begin with talking to his teacher.
My thoughts would be over stimulation, overtiredness, hunger. Something happening at school that is distressing him. Are there problems around using the toilet at school causing constipation, for example?
Can you describe a little more about what is happening?
Does he go into school ok?
Is he eating his lunch at school?
Is he sleeping at night?
Difficult to get up in the morning?

I am sorry, it sounds very distressing.

Hes in another room shouting I hate everything. I hate my life. Hes slept hes eaten. Nothing has changed. I feel like im going to pass out from stress.

School have said nothings wrong.

I've asked to talk to them again

He speaks in an adult voice when he's cross its like he's a pshcopath.

3 weeks ago he was a fun loving child

Does he have access to iPad? Internet? YouTube?

Is there a chance he's being abused somehow?

Has he been ill recently?

Not unless it's during school as most of his time he's alone with me

No illness at all

Is it school holiday? If not, speak to school tomorrow.
Can you self refer to your childrens centre in your area? Ask for an Early Help assessment unless school does this.
GP surgery again.

He has an ipade and kids YouTube but only in the car so probably about 5 times a year (only very long trips) he doenst have it at home and at home only watches TV. Very normal stuff. Pokemon.. I player.. Very restricted

Has he had nightmares, been frightened by something he’s seen, is he watching YouTube without you there?
Check for things that look innocuous at first, like the awful ‘Poppy Playtime’.
Sudden changes like this are unusual and worrying.

Try time in rather than time out.
look up non-violent resistance

It's half term but have emailed to talk to the teacher. GP appointment first one i could get is tomorrow morning. He's like a switch. He's super calm and normal now. As if nothing ever happened. Then the smallest word and he's off againn

Im about to start bedtime and I'm just like a beaten woman. I'm desperately trying to find ways to keep him and myself safe when it's 7pm at night and everything is shut and everyone is away and I desperately need help

Time out does just not work. I've taken away toys. I taken away parties. I've tried positive reinforcement.

I've lost my child. I'm heartbroken

My son was like this. School was massive trigger. He was kind of restless in reception but in year 1 he really lost his shit. Smashing stuff up, running away from school! Refusing to go in, hitting me etc swearing at me every minute. What ever I done wasn't enough and he's only 6 next week.
It was and still can be a nightmare. He's currently waiting to be assessed for additional needs as it runs heavily in our family.
But some kids was bothering him at school and he couldn't articulate that. Instead he just kept saying oh the people are annoying.

When the teacher kept a closer eye she discovered that, she also created a calm corner in the classroom for him to chill out in and made a lot of adjustments for him. It does seem to have a knock on effect and he's relaxed more indoors. Speak to school don't ring social services honestly I wouldn't.

I had them involved before due to my daughters behaviour funnily enough at the same age, that I called when I was at breaking point and they said I'm doing every thing I can do and continue it' and helped us get further up the list at CAMHs instead and closed the case.

I think reading your post back this is something that's possibly happening at school? Is he finding the work hard maybe? My son couldn't deal with the sudden expectation of more work than play in year 1.

Call his dad and get him to come home right now. It's an emergency.

Hes a fireman its sadly not that easy

Sometimes the family has to come first, even for firemen.

Can you try to see him as a very distressed and upset little boy? Sometimes reframing it can help your respond differently. If he was sobbing and weeping, how would you be trying to help him? Try doing whatever that would be, instead of increasing punishments and consequences. They won’t help find out what’s going on for him.

I'm hoping it's school and I'm hoping thy will help

I am a pretty chilled person and for the last few years out house has been quiet and passive and pretty chilled

Suddenly he's talking about death and hate. I can only. Think something or someone at school has effected him

He's in foundation but interacts with larger children in the play ground

He says over and over. Everyone hates me. No one likes me. Mum hates me, dad hates me, I have no friends

I am terrified he will start smashing things or break something that will then hurt him.

What happens when I speak to a Dr? Will they fob me off? I'm so worried about being alone with him