How did you feel when your baby was born?

[Thetractorjustmoved]

I had a traumatic first birth followed by immediate awful PND and PSTD. so didn't feel anything for my baby when he was born, other than terror and a vague sense I was in a dream.

4 years later (and lots of pyschological help!) I'm due my second. I want to have realistic expectations of the birth and meeting my second child, even if I don't get PND again. I think I still have a distorted view of what is 'normal' to feel after birth and don't want to set myself up for a fall.

For those of you who didn't go on to have mental health issues, how did you feel when you met your baby? Positive? Happy? Shellshocked? Thanks in advance.

With my first I was shell shocked cause it had been a quick labour with no time for pain relief. For the first few days I was in a lot of pain (stitches/piles) and I remember feeling as if I had a sort of cyber pet and struggling to muster the will to pick him up to and change him cause everything hurt so much. I don't remember a defining moment, but I do remember reading about someone having a stillbirth on the ivillage website when he was a few weeks old and holding him tight and crying. He immediately pooed, weed and puked on me. I still loved him so its fair to say we had bonded.

With my second I had to be induced cause I was nearly 2 weeks overdue. I was given an epidural at the same time. Ironically I felt a lot more in control. One of the midwives told me that she thought I had stopped myself going into labour cause I was so scared after the first one. When he was born, I did feel that instant rush of love when he was placed in my arms.