20 weeks old can I try with baby rice or porridge

[Anonnnnnnm]

Hello,

Firstly can I say my wife is wonderful in every way but naturally we have slightly different parenting styles. Our son is 20 weeks on Thursday, he can support his own head and sit up very well with tiny bits of support and no support at all if he's slightly reclined (say in a high chair) or against a cushion/surface.

He's been showing a massive interest in food for a few weeks but just this week he's massively interested. He stared at my crumpet the whole time I ate it 😂 and yesterday when he thought he was getting a spoonful but my sister ate it instead (who was holding him) he burst out crying.

My wife simply will not compromise and says 6 months no less. I disagree and want him to try a tiny spoon of baby rice / porridge/ purée etc.

It's become a really difficult topic to talk about or discuss. I just want to know am I suggesting something out of the ordinary or unsafe? If I am then please tell me because I would never want to hurt my son.

Thank you everyone 😊

My sons are 41 and 39. The eldest was weaned at 4 months. 2nd son was 11lb born, so I got him onto pureed fruit, baby rice, steamed vegetables, at 6 WEEKS. He thrived and was a happy baby after that.

@Aquamarine1029 how am I a misogynist?

It works for people that have a sense of humour as well x

Given that MN have deleted your comment, I'd suggest you look to improve your "sense of humour" and cut the offensive crap from it.

Showing interest in food isn't a sign he is ready to start eating. Babies are interested in everything that seems important to those around them.

I would personally wait until baby is 6 months + as the gut needs to be mature enough to handle food, any earlier without advice from medical experts and it can cause many issues that have a lifelong impact on your (now) baby. Waiting until they are 6 months will only be a matter of weeks, but them experiencing possible bad impact from introducing it early could impact them for the rest of their life.

Implying that women who are menstruating are somehow unreasonable and irrational isn't funny. It's an insult and a method of subtle oppression that has roots in a deeply traumatic shared history of many thousands of women.

I'd expect it from a man, but you should know better.

@Anonnnnnnm I'd be saying the same if it was a mum coming on here and saying they planned to disregard the dad's feelings in this scenario. Because both feelings are valid, but one is based on current guidance for good reasons and whoever was suggesting going against it shouldn't decide they can just trump the other person's feelings either. No double standards here 😊

6 months is correct. You should respect your wife's decision especially as she is the one who has the more educated and researched opinion in this case.

Your wife needs to feel supported in her decision to wait until six months, and not have to justify it to you or anyone else. It is up to her to decide what she thinks is best for her baby and for you to respect that decision.

I chose not to wait, but that was the decision I made for myself and my babies, and I feel strongly that it should always be the mother's personal and individual choice.

I followed my own instincts with both my DC (now 15 and 17), as I felt that they were ready for food. My DH was supportive, despite being more cautious than me by nature. He would have been inclined to follow government /NHS guidance if it was left to him to decide, but rightly felt that the decision was mine to make, and not his.

I was the only one in my group of friends to start weaning early, and resisted a lot of pressure from them, as they all thought I should follow the 'official' advice (mainly, I suspect, to validate their own decision to wait). My health visitor was surprisingly supportive though, and told me that guidance is just guidance and not a rule, and the six months recommendation was fairly recent (this was in 2005). She said it was taken from the World Health Organisation recommendation that babies were exclusively breast fed for 6 months, as this was the safest and most hygienic advice for mothers in third world countries where keeping equipment sterile was difficult and water for formula and baby rice could be unsafe for babies.

I didn't do baby rice at any stage, but started my DC with fruit and vegetable purées at 17 weeks and they were both fully weaned and eating everything by the time my friends with babies the same age were introducing food to theirs at 6 months. DS and DD are both extremely fit and healthy teenagers. They have always been great (and unfussy) eaters and have had no ill effects whatsoever from starting food at 17 weeks.

Every mum should be able to make her own safe and informed choices about what is right for her baby at every stage of their development, without feeling pressure from anyone. I mix-fed both of my DC from birth and I had so many people telling me 'oh no, you can't do that, it will confuse baby / reduce your milk supply etc.'. But I ignored them and did it anyway. It worked really well for me and my DC, took the pressure off establishing breastfeeding and made it very easy to wean them off breast milk when I was ready to do that after four months.

No. Wait until 6 months as per all official guidance.

I am a mum of a 5 month old. I find it fascinating because my sons grandparents were advised to start introducing some foods at three months (this was 40 years ago), which seems very early, but, they raised 4 healthy children.

They've been involved in raising another grandchild (not my child) and they gave her baby rice from 4 months occasionally - she is also now fine and healthy. So personally I think it's down to each baby. My son is 9kg at 5 months, so I have now started giving him tiny tastes of puréed fruit and veg, he loves it, he sleeps amazingly and still drinks milk.

Yes, the NHS advises 6 months to rule out any possible danger you could ever
Imagine, that doesn't mean you can't use your own judgment as a parent. Parents are so scared these days to do that.

Also, when I took my son to the GP at four months, I asked her this exact question and she said that 'the advice had officially changed but I gave all my children a little baby rice before bed to help them sleep and they are all fine' and she said I could go for it as my son is in the 98 th centile.

Hope both of you can come to an agreement. Just use your own intuition- only you know your baby. Don't listen to some Karen's who will tell you you're a terrible human for even considering it before six months I mean what happens during the night of 5.99 months to 6 months? It's a guideline not a rigid rule!

Also, NHS says when baby can do these, they may be ready for food. Well my baby is doing all of this at 5 months.

They'll be able to:
• stay in a sitting position and hold their head steady
• co-ordinate their eyes, hands and mouth so they can look at the food, pick it up and put it in their mouth by themselves
• swallow food (rather than spit it back out)

Good luck :)

Yes, the NHS advises 6 months to rule out any possible danger you could ever
Imagine, that doesn't mean you can't use your own judgment as a parent. Parents are so scared these days to do that.

There isn’t any calculated ‘judgement’ going on though. It’s like crossing a quiet road with your eyes shut and ear defenders on - good chance you’ll be fine, small chance you may not be. You can’t judge whether your child’s digestive system is ready for food pre- 6 months. You just hope for the best I guess. Why parents do this I’m not sure though - boredom? Babies aren’t there to be fed for your entertainment though.

@BeanieTeen not really similar at all is it though, there's a high chance you will not be fine crossing a road with a blindfold and ear defenders on yet there are millions of humans walking around who have had some type of food before six months and lived to tell the tale with no health issues.

French people wean between 4-6 months, same is true in Finland .. so are they all just stupid? Not sure how old you are but you come to realise that life isn't so black and white. You can claim to know that for every baby.. no food until six months is the best way.

Odd comment; what has @BeanieTeen age got to do with anything? They could be 20, they could be 60 it doesn't make their opinion any less valid does it?

@mummyh2016 One - I never said anyone's opinion was invalid.

Two - how have you got upset about that comment but not a comment suggesting the countless number of parents who give food to their child before 6 months are doing it for their own entertainment?

Night Karen. Just trying to help this poor guy feel less awful about himself for having a different opinion to his wife. He was incredibly kind and listened to everyone's opinions and some of the comments on here are ridiculous suggesting he's a bad dad and husband.

You didn't need to say it, you were insinuating it. You either believed they were younger than you so not as 'experienced' as you or older than you so set in their ways. If it's not either of those then why even mention their age?
I agree with @BeanieTeen. I believe some people do wean their babies early as a form of entertainment. Not only that it feels like there's a massive rush to get babies to hit particular milestones such as eating food. People like to be 'first'. They grow up so fast I don't get why people try to speed it up even more. Plus weaning is so faffy anyway I don't get why anyone chooses to rush into it.
If a dietitian has told you to wean early then fair enough but those aren't the parents I'm referring to.
Are you really choosing to go down the road of the 'Karen' insults? You can call me what you like but these insults never go down well on here!

Only just seen the last line; I haven't said he is a bad dad or husband so unsure why you're throwing that at me.

@anotheronettc @mummyh2016 OP is a woman...

@mummyh2016 and why do you think 'Karen' comments don't go down well here??

.. because mums net is full of them.

Don't you think it's sad that the poster left the chat because of the abuse he was receiving over asking a bloody simple question? No you weren't personally abusive to him but you're speaking up for someone who was belittling him suggesting he'd feed his baby for his own selfish reasons.

But thanks for reminding me why I need to delete this app, it's literally a place where people come to troll other people for making different choices.

👋

@MolliciousIntent ?

Ahhh apologies, I saw a couple of posts where people referred to them as a he so I presumed as I presumed they did as well.
Its only now I've scrutinised the OPs comments I've seen she mentioned being maternal.

Not sure what you're confused about - read her comments.

@MolliciousIntent don't know what OP stands for to be honest. But ok, thanks...

Do you even know what a Karen insult is?
I don't use it but a quick google tells me 'Karen is a pejorative term for a perceived as demanding or entitled beyond the scope of what is normal'.
I've not been demanding or entitled here. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't make me demanding or entitled

OP stands for Original Poster. IE the person who started the thread. She's written about being worried that she doesn't have as good maternal instincts as her wife. Maternal = mother.