20 weeks old can I try with baby rice or porridge

[Anonnnnnnm]

Hello,

Firstly can I say my wife is wonderful in every way but naturally we have slightly different parenting styles. Our son is 20 weeks on Thursday, he can support his own head and sit up very well with tiny bits of support and no support at all if he's slightly reclined (say in a high chair) or against a cushion/surface.

He's been showing a massive interest in food for a few weeks but just this week he's massively interested. He stared at my crumpet the whole time I ate it 😂 and yesterday when he thought he was getting a spoonful but my sister ate it instead (who was holding him) he burst out crying.

My wife simply will not compromise and says 6 months no less. I disagree and want him to try a tiny spoon of baby rice / porridge/ purée etc.

It's become a really difficult topic to talk about or discuss. I just want to know am I suggesting something out of the ordinary or unsafe? If I am then please tell me because I would never want to hurt my son.

Thank you everyone 😊

I'm not entering into a mumsnet debate you can tell me I'm wrong and move on with your life it's totally fine 😊

My toddler regularly side eyes my g&t in the evening. She's even thrown a strop when I've said no. Clearly I should give her a sip seeing as she's so interested...🙄

Wait until 6 months. Also, absolutely no nutritional value in baby rice and porridge etc. Your baby should be fed proper, healthy food when you start weaning

Everyone's been really nice/entirely polite.

Such drama.

I wonder if I would get some of the snarky responses if I was posting from the perspective of mom whose husband wanted to wean 🤔 just scroll on if you can't be kind!! x

*wait to wean

Baby rice is a dreadful thing to give small children, nearly all ‘baby rice’ exceeds the safe levels of arsenic for adults and baby porridge is also completely unnecessary. The point of weaning is to learn safe eating skills, not fill little babies up on empty calories.

If your baby can’t sit up unsupported and not lying against something, they haven’t developed the core strength to stop choking yet.

solidstarts.com/starting-solids/readiness/

www.hbbf.org/arsenic-infant-rice-cereal

Your opinion is valid, of course, but i needs to be backed by something that is at least vaguely based on science and actual research. So if you could produce a few studies saying that babies weaned at 20 weeks do better, then sure, you could duke it out. But your "opinion" doesn't trump actual medical guidance and research (eg, you should do your research - 6 months is recommended but when we were weaning DS, I read enough to feel comfortable deciding to wean him at 24 weeks instead based on his size/ ability to sit/ constant hunger.)

Also, who is doin the bulk of the childcare? Assuming she's on maternity leave and is the one with him all the time, engaging with medical professionals etc, she's far more likely to have an opinion based on facts.

Thank you I didn't know this and feel awful so definitely won't be giving that.

Thank you. And I've accepted I am wrong. It's just a lot of people are now jumping on with snarky comments which is annoying me 😂

We both did shared parental leave for 3 months and now she's doing the remainder alone.

Can I just say in the nicest possible way OP that one of the most exhausting things about motherhood is having your decisions challenged by people (partners, family whatever) who have not bothered to do even the most basic research. In situations like these, a quick google of NHS advice will set you right and avoid a lot of conflict.

I'm not entering into a mumsnet debate you can tell me I'm wrong and move on with your life it's totally fine

I was literally asking for you to clarify what you meant by the context of your question - that's all.

I've never once said you are wrong. You've come and asked for advice and been given pretty unanimous advice that correlates with your wife's viewpoint on this.

You then say that's not the context of your question so I've commented asking what you mean.

I think the snarky responses is because you come across as smug and clueless, but THINK you know everything. Medical advice says 6 months. But you are assuming your wife just has an "opinion".

Deciding when to wean your child is not something you argue about in the same way you discuss the colour of the walls in the nursery. Actual guidelines, which I will BET your wife has actually read/researched - say 6 months. If you read them, you'd understand it's to do with the development of the digestive system. You'd also know that the baby needs to be able to support itself a lot better than what you are describing. So basically, you have developed an opinion based on no actual information. And that is why you are being pasted.

Thank you, but I am finding my feet as a parent too. I'm definitely not going to give him food though. Going to turn comments off now thank you everyone message received loud and clear 😊

I am now questioning my maternal instinct and feel absolutely awful for even suggesting it however I can accept when I am wrong. 6 months it is!! 😊😊

@Triffid1 so I'm basically a bad parent. Thank you.

Oh give over.

So fucking dramatic.

Blimey. You must be EXHAUSTING to live with. Opinions based on nothing, defensive and unpleasant when challenged. Put words in other people's mouths....

I didn't say you were a bad parent. I said that you were coming across as smug and patronising and like you seem to think "opinions" matter more than facts.

Are you 12?

Keep going everyone 🎣

Your baby's eyesight improves significantly every month. It's possible that he's only just become aware of the existence of the crumpet and now wants to get involved in all the new things he's seeing.

Guidance for introducing solids is "around 6 months". At that point the baby should be able to sit upright unsupported. Slightly reclined could be a choking risk. At this point their tongue thrust reflex should be round about ready to take food in, rather than push it back out again, but cautious enough that food can be moved around the mouth before swallowing. Some babies are ready slightly before 6 months, some a fair bit afterwards.

The introduction of solids can be messy - high chair, baby, floor and clothes will all need washing every meal time. Food is an extra thing to prepare and nappy contents are much like poo, rather than soft baby poo. Avoid that nonsense as long as you can.

100% this and that's why in this case your wife's opinion is more valid. She's clearly done her research and listened, whereas it seems like you haven't bothered so would question which other things you have not yet looked into

(Not in an attacking way btw, I just think as pp said a quick Google and you'd have known and not needed to get randoms opinions to know it's okay or not to go against your wife's wishes)

Thank you I appreciate your constructive and kind advice. I have accepted I'm definitely in the wrong here and glad I asked xx

Currently mumsnetting on both phone and computer so that might be confusing with different names! Sorry!

I really enjoy that you think you're in some way superior for trolling than the people kindly replying to you.

What a life.