20 weeks old can I try with baby rice or porridge

[Anonnnnnnm]

Hello,

Firstly can I say my wife is wonderful in every way but naturally we have slightly different parenting styles. Our son is 20 weeks on Thursday, he can support his own head and sit up very well with tiny bits of support and no support at all if he's slightly reclined (say in a high chair) or against a cushion/surface.

He's been showing a massive interest in food for a few weeks but just this week he's massively interested. He stared at my crumpet the whole time I ate it 😂 and yesterday when he thought he was getting a spoonful but my sister ate it instead (who was holding him) he burst out crying.

My wife simply will not compromise and says 6 months no less. I disagree and want him to try a tiny spoon of baby rice / porridge/ purée etc.

It's become a really difficult topic to talk about or discuss. I just want to know am I suggesting something out of the ordinary or unsafe? If I am then please tell me because I would never want to hurt my son.

Thank you everyone 😊

OP, why didn't you just look at the guidelines?

Sorry, I didn't meant to take it out on you. I am just wishing I never asked. I feel silly for having asked and should have researched properly. I totally respect my wife's decision and would never in a million years go against it. We both have our maternal instincts and I guess I am feeling a bit insecure in mine now. She gave birth so I struggle to accept sometimes that nature is nature and they are sometimes closer or he settles better with her etc and I think my insecurities have now been triggered a bit by this post. But I posted it and that's for me to deal with. At the end of the day I have my answer loud and clear and 100% will wait til 6 months and have a way better understanding now of why that should be the case.

But this has nothing to do with maternal instinct! This is her doing research and reading resources available to her, and you... I dunno, following guidelines from the 90s?

@MolliciousIntent there is no need to be so snarky. I have literally said at the end I accept I am wrong I don't know what else I can do.

You could take away guess work and calendars. Babies don’t magically become able to digest food at 6 months and a day. Look into baby led weaning or whatever it’s called these days. When your child is old enough to pick up food and transfer it to their mouth, they are old enough to eat solids.

When to feed baby and start weaning is not a maternal instinct though, it's all about the right time and BABY showing signs of them being ready as well.
I think you may have some issues like you are saying but it doesn't relate to this weaning one. It sounds like you may just want to come across that you know something your wife doesn't.
I suggest getting some weaning books or looking online for some resources. That way when the time comes you are armed with the right information to be able to support your wife as well

Posters are correct in that current UK guidelines say wait until 6 months but they are incorrect to make out that this is what the science says.

The WHO made this recommendation a long time ago based on their analysis of the science. The UK, like many countries followed that advice. Some countries, like Germany didn't as their own analysis of the evidence didn't agree with the findings of the WHO. Since then there has been further research into this and it has shown that waiting 6 months can be harmful, so other countries have reverted back to the 4 months advice. Sweden, where I am, being one which changed to 6 months but has since reverted back to 4 months.

That was my original line of thought but as you can see not the general consensus.

I deffo don't want to come across like that but do get how it may seem that way. Thank you I will try some books x

Why are you so desperate for weaning to begin? It’s a bloody nightmare. Your poor wife has probably just got feeding sorted and organised. Be supportive and trust her knowledge.

OP. I totally get the excitement of wanting to wean but honestly...once the novelty wears off its SO time consuming, messy, frustrating!

Also def dont bother with rice - start with a veggie!

Nice. Would you say that to your wife?

Im not being snarky, I'm just wondering whether you're conflating research with instinct. She doesn't magically know what to do just because she gave birth, she's putting the work in.

I think it's quite dangerous to decide to yourself that she's got better maternal instincts than you, that's a bit of a slippery slope to her being left to do the majority of the mental load and heavy lifting around child raising. It happens all the time in heterosexual couples - the man assumes the woman magically knows what to do based on the fact that she's the biological mother, when in fact she just hasn't had any choice but to learn because she's the one doing the majority of the work.

If I were you, I'd arrange to take some solo leave, just you and the baby, once your wife returns to work. Take sole charge of the day to day and learn how to do things your way. Establish yourself as an equal parent. That's what my husband and I did and it has been incredible for our family.

@TheDouglasChater I could be wrong but don't think anywhere in OPs posts have they suggested their gender so unsure you can reply back like that
OPs comment wasn't necessary but yours was just as equally unnecessary and making assumptions

Honestly if you think your baby is ready for it it. I weened DS at 5 months he was ready for it. He managed perfectly fine no issues and he's nearly 8 now.

Lots of people ween early. It's like when HV advise to make each bottle as you go along.....upon medical 🙄 advice. My mum made all her milk bottles for the day...I did the same for DS too.

Not been funny but you have to learn some things yourself.

It's neither here nor there whether the OP is female, but using "is it your time of the month" is quite an anti-woman slur. I now hope the OP is a man.

Internalised sexism exists, the comment would be equally disgusting and derogatory if made F2F

I feel very sorry for your wife. I hope she wakes up and sees what an insufferable misogynist you are.

Just to add to the comments about age guidance, weaning is messy, time consuming, and phaffy. If you can delay it by 6-8 weeks, I'd highly recommend it. Mine both loved food, but my lord, the mess!

Jesus, these comments! People here obsessed with guidelines (which by the way, constantly changeing. In the States and most of Europe went back to 4 months). Some babies aren't ready till 7 months old, what you gonna do? Force the food down, becouse the guidelines said 6 months?
If your baby is ready, there is nothing wrong giving a tiny spoon of porridge or baby rice. A few spoons a week won't do any harm. It's not like the baby will eat it all. For a few weeks, my baby just played with it in the mouth, most of it came out, bearly swallowed anything. Don't understand why would you not give a little bit if you have a curious, healthy baby.

If your baby is ready, there is nothing wrong giving a tiny spoon of porridge or baby rice

How do you actually know if your baby is ready though? That their gut is fully developed?

And I think there's been more than enough info on this thread to show exactly what harm baby rice can be.

Uk guidelines have not changed in a good few decades.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Sure, all babies outside UK been damaged becouse of a spoon of porrage. Hope humanity will survive!

@Tina8800 I take if you have no experience of gastro issues?
My husband is under a gastroenterologist. His stomach issues can not be cured. His gastroenterologist has said he strongly believes these issues stem from early weaning (which wasn't early back then). I was born in the same generation and was weaned at the same time and I have no issues so I am not saying if you early wean then this is what will happen. But this is an issue that effects us as a family on a daily basis. I would hate for another family to have to go through what we go through because someone online told them early weaning can do no harm. It is bullshit.

Never suggested for a second they did. However as I live in the UK, I generally choose to follow UK based advice on things. I assume people who live in countries with different advice generally follow the advice of their own nation.